HA! The Shoe Is Now On The Other Sock!
Mum used to complain that I was a grub with no "sul may" (never picks up after myself). Yes Marjorie, karma is real and it has struck with a vengeance. I'm now saying all the things mum used to say to me "Dirty clothes go in the laundry, not on the floor" and "The dishes aren't going to wash themselves.". It infuriates me to no end. *le sigh* On the upside, this also means I get to have smug conversations like this:
1: I threw out a lot of stuff.
2: What did you throw out?
1: If you don't know, then it doesn't matter then, does it?
*evil grin*
Seemed like a good idea at the time - taking photos of ourselves when drunk equates to photos of us looking like spethsial needs adult dancing to Spice Girls tunes. Thank goodness evidence is easily destroyed with one quick click of the delete button. (Not so quick actually, windows likes to ask "Are you sure you want to delete this cherished memory?")
Incredibly hilarious stories from some dude posting under the name davesecretary. This one made me LOL. The rest can be found here.
[snip][paste]
Right so it’s kindergarten and it’s spring and everything is thawing and muddy. And all the kids have those rubber boots that go up to our waists. the thing to do in the morning before class starts is to find a buddy, go find a nice soft muddy spot in the playground somewhere, face your friend and start squishing your way down in the mud until it’s almost up to your waist.
We did this because it was fun. So Kyle and I are facing each other and bogging our way down in this mud puddle. We get it almost to the point where the mud will start to seep into our rubber boots. I look at Kyle and say “hey Kyle, can you do this?!” and I take my foot out of the boot, wiggle my little socked toes in the spring air for a few seconds, and put my leg back in my boot, which is firmly lodged in mud.
“Yes I can!!” Kyle shouts back at me despite me being only a foot away from him. Kyle takes his foot out of his boot and immediately falls backwards into the mud. Because one leg is still in the boot he is kind of pinned. The suction from the mud is too much for him to sit up, and he can’t turn over because his leg is stuck in the boot.
The bell rings and I leave him there for some reason. It’s Monday morning so we have assembly. The whole school sits in the gym and we sing ‘oh Canada’. our principal, whose name is honest to god ‘Mrs. Hegginbottom’ says ‘good morning students’ and then we all say ‘good morning Mrs. Hegginbottombottombottombottom’ because nobody can get it in sync and some kids say it faster than others.
then our principal is about to get into the announcements when the big double doors in the back of the gym are thrown open and smack against the walls with a giant bang. Enter Mrs. Vail, short, butchy vice principal with biceps like nothing you’ve ever seen. She’s holding Kyle, who appears to have been dressed from the lost and found. There are tears just streaming down his face. We all stare at Kyle and Mrs. Vail lets him go. He runs towards me, slips on the ground because he’s in socks for some reason, picks himself up, and sits down next to me. Totally inconsolable for the rest of the day. when we get home he finally opens up to me and tells me that Mrs. Vail picked him up out of the mud like a dying soldier and wasted no time in stripping him naked and dressing him up in short-shorts and a strawberry-shortcake t-shirt even though there was a ninja turtle t-shirt right there.
[/snip][/paste]
1: I threw out a lot of stuff.
2: What did you throw out?
1: If you don't know, then it doesn't matter then, does it?
*evil grin*
Seemed like a good idea at the time - taking photos of ourselves when drunk equates to photos of us looking like spethsial needs adult dancing to Spice Girls tunes. Thank goodness evidence is easily destroyed with one quick click of the delete button. (Not so quick actually, windows likes to ask "Are you sure you want to delete this cherished memory?")
Incredibly hilarious stories from some dude posting under the name davesecretary. This one made me LOL. The rest can be found here.
[snip][paste]
Right so it’s kindergarten and it’s spring and everything is thawing and muddy. And all the kids have those rubber boots that go up to our waists. the thing to do in the morning before class starts is to find a buddy, go find a nice soft muddy spot in the playground somewhere, face your friend and start squishing your way down in the mud until it’s almost up to your waist.
We did this because it was fun. So Kyle and I are facing each other and bogging our way down in this mud puddle. We get it almost to the point where the mud will start to seep into our rubber boots. I look at Kyle and say “hey Kyle, can you do this?!” and I take my foot out of the boot, wiggle my little socked toes in the spring air for a few seconds, and put my leg back in my boot, which is firmly lodged in mud.
“Yes I can!!” Kyle shouts back at me despite me being only a foot away from him. Kyle takes his foot out of his boot and immediately falls backwards into the mud. Because one leg is still in the boot he is kind of pinned. The suction from the mud is too much for him to sit up, and he can’t turn over because his leg is stuck in the boot.
The bell rings and I leave him there for some reason. It’s Monday morning so we have assembly. The whole school sits in the gym and we sing ‘oh Canada’. our principal, whose name is honest to god ‘Mrs. Hegginbottom’ says ‘good morning students’ and then we all say ‘good morning Mrs. Hegginbottombottombottombottom’ because nobody can get it in sync and some kids say it faster than others.
then our principal is about to get into the announcements when the big double doors in the back of the gym are thrown open and smack against the walls with a giant bang. Enter Mrs. Vail, short, butchy vice principal with biceps like nothing you’ve ever seen. She’s holding Kyle, who appears to have been dressed from the lost and found. There are tears just streaming down his face. We all stare at Kyle and Mrs. Vail lets him go. He runs towards me, slips on the ground because he’s in socks for some reason, picks himself up, and sits down next to me. Totally inconsolable for the rest of the day. when we get home he finally opens up to me and tells me that Mrs. Vail picked him up out of the mud like a dying soldier and wasted no time in stripping him naked and dressing him up in short-shorts and a strawberry-shortcake t-shirt even though there was a ninja turtle t-shirt right there.
[/snip][/paste]