Ritual Planning and Bitchy People
Renee and I had the first ritual planning meeting at the grove for the upcoming Summer Solstice. Renee got the day reserved and we'll be doing some version of Sannion's invention, the Boukokleptia (scroll down). The Hermes and Apollo thing, you know how it goes. :-)
Ending up pissing off Little Miss Sunshine, one of the dingbats that started showing up a little while back that I wish would disappear. Of course, LMS always looks pissed off, has her face twisted into this perpetual scowl; she's generally unfriendly (I've seen her chatting with one or two of the newer people, other than that don't bothering trying to talk to her), seemingly useless and is one that I question why she shows up, is it the religion or just a social club (that she doesn't take advantage of)? In the last Greek ritual that we did, Jeff wrote a light hearted sacred drama that went over really well, and it seemed like a good idea to include it again with the myth of Hermes' theft of Apollo's cattle. Could be fun, right? Well, immediately she's trying to claim the part of Hermes for herself, so I stepped in and explained perfectly calmly that those parts were mine and this is why. Oh, LMS was not happy to hear that, and barked something at me about "hogging all the good parts" and "why not let those who don't normally get them" and "this ritual is for all of us." She ended up storming off in a huff a short time later and didn't return for the rest of ritual planning.
Oh, yeah. As all my fellow grove mates know, when it comes to ritual parts, I IZ TEH MEEN!!!! I'm always knocking other people down to grab up the great parts for myself, always wanting to be in the spot light I am. I'm just such a selfish hog, how do you all put up with me?
*eye roll*
This woman is more of an all purpose eclectic fill in, she just wants a part whatever we're doing, no strong attachments to anything so it doesn't really matter what. And hey, nothing wrong with that, if a group didn't have such people lots of parts would likely go unfilled. Me on the other hand, I have one real strong attachment, and pretty much unless Hermes is directly involved in the ritual I do not participate. He is pretty much the only deity I feel any compulsion to stand up for publicly. No one has ever seen my raising my hands for any random parts that are there to be handed up, I never step a foot out into the circle center except on his behalf. So, what was that about parts going to people that don't usually get them? Really, do your research before opening your mouth.
Because I actually really don't like doing the public priestess/large group ritual type thing. Apparently I do a very good job of appearing comfortable and confident in front of the crowd (can even keep cracking jokes), but I'm not, not at all. I'm severely introverted, that kind of shit is painful torture to me. The only reason I ever do this at all is because he wants me to. The first time this ever happened, it was because I made the mistake of expressing my relief that large group ritual leader was not in my job description, and it took him three days to show me; in my absence (I was in Massachusetts for my sister's wedding at the time) someone at the grove determined the next ritual would focus on Hermes, and there I was stuck. I ended up having to do the omen reading as well since Hermes made it clear he had no intention of talking to the other woman who originally volunteered. Indeed, the large group ritual thing is not a part of my normal every day job description, but I guess that doesn't mean that I will never do it either; in hindsight perhaps this was my first taste of no clean and cut boundaries and roles and labels for you, as well as my first taste of never say never to a trickster. :-)
As much as I hate doing this, I do it anyway. For him. Because he wants me to. So far, its happened at least once a year that he pokes me again and sets the wheels into motion so that I end up in front of the crowd again (he just so loves volunteering me for shit). When I do this, its an offering in and of itself, because its so difficult and so against my character to do so. And over this last year, with as many problems as him and I have had adjusting to our new relationship dynamic, this offering becomes more important than ever (might be the purpose of the drama, oooh, look, something even more uncomfortable for her to do!).
In my own not so humble opinion, and I may be preaching to the choir here or I may not, if there is a person in a given Pagan group who is formally devoted to or has a very close working relationship with a particular deity, any ritual parts involving that deity should go to that person by default, turning to others only if for some reason they do not want it. And that goes about a hundred times over when you're talking about a deity most everyone else there knows very little to nothing about. I mean really, why have some random person doing the invocation/offering/ritual drama/whatever who is doing so merely to have the chance to participate, when there is someone there devoted to the god in question? Who do you really think the god would want more often than not? And I'm not just saying this because of these circumstances (really, if I could weasle my way out of this, I would, gladly), that's long been my personal policy, though admittely at our grove it doesn't seem to come up too often, nature of the group in its current incarnation I suppose (exceptions being people like me and Renee, the Bridgid fan club that every general Pagan group has to have, etc.).
So yeah, I think I'll be taking the roles set out for me, I'll dance for him as an apology. And then I'll step into the background again and no one will hear a ritual peep from me until ... well, whenever this comes around again. As for Little Miss Sunshine, hey its a big ritual and I'm only doing a few things in it, there will be plenty of parts left over, maybe they won't be as "cool" but hey, them's the breaks. Take one or don't, I honestly don't give a shit (frankly, if this is how you behave, complaining and storming off like that, and with some of your past behavior* I'm inclined toward pushing you to the sidelines, I won't but that's what I'm inclined toward). Next ritual, you can run the whole fucking thing yourself for all I care, you won't get any interference from me.
We'll see if this is the last heard from that corner. If she tries to bring it up again, she won't like my response.
* She pitched a fit at the grove once when Obama winning the election made people discuss how happy they were about that during a ritual; she's a republican I guess and found it offensive. I'm not a republican (or a democrat really) and I do agree politics need to be left out of ritual space (inside when we're all fucking around is fair game) to avoid even the appearence of an official endorsement of any party or politician. However the way to go about that is to have a quiet and calm discussion with someone after the ritual is over about why in general such things are not okay, how it could be uncomfortable and/or offensive to some people, etc. The way to handle it is not to start freaking out in front of everyone about how OMGZ, how DARE you all insult BUSH!!! He waz teh wonderfuls, if you can nots appreciate then you is both teh RONG and teh MEENZ!!!!
Ending up pissing off Little Miss Sunshine, one of the dingbats that started showing up a little while back that I wish would disappear. Of course, LMS always looks pissed off, has her face twisted into this perpetual scowl; she's generally unfriendly (I've seen her chatting with one or two of the newer people, other than that don't bothering trying to talk to her), seemingly useless and is one that I question why she shows up, is it the religion or just a social club (that she doesn't take advantage of)? In the last Greek ritual that we did, Jeff wrote a light hearted sacred drama that went over really well, and it seemed like a good idea to include it again with the myth of Hermes' theft of Apollo's cattle. Could be fun, right? Well, immediately she's trying to claim the part of Hermes for herself, so I stepped in and explained perfectly calmly that those parts were mine and this is why. Oh, LMS was not happy to hear that, and barked something at me about "hogging all the good parts" and "why not let those who don't normally get them" and "this ritual is for all of us." She ended up storming off in a huff a short time later and didn't return for the rest of ritual planning.
Oh, yeah. As all my fellow grove mates know, when it comes to ritual parts, I IZ TEH MEEN!!!! I'm always knocking other people down to grab up the great parts for myself, always wanting to be in the spot light I am. I'm just such a selfish hog, how do you all put up with me?
*eye roll*
This woman is more of an all purpose eclectic fill in, she just wants a part whatever we're doing, no strong attachments to anything so it doesn't really matter what. And hey, nothing wrong with that, if a group didn't have such people lots of parts would likely go unfilled. Me on the other hand, I have one real strong attachment, and pretty much unless Hermes is directly involved in the ritual I do not participate. He is pretty much the only deity I feel any compulsion to stand up for publicly. No one has ever seen my raising my hands for any random parts that are there to be handed up, I never step a foot out into the circle center except on his behalf. So, what was that about parts going to people that don't usually get them? Really, do your research before opening your mouth.
Because I actually really don't like doing the public priestess/large group ritual type thing. Apparently I do a very good job of appearing comfortable and confident in front of the crowd (can even keep cracking jokes), but I'm not, not at all. I'm severely introverted, that kind of shit is painful torture to me. The only reason I ever do this at all is because he wants me to. The first time this ever happened, it was because I made the mistake of expressing my relief that large group ritual leader was not in my job description, and it took him three days to show me; in my absence (I was in Massachusetts for my sister's wedding at the time) someone at the grove determined the next ritual would focus on Hermes, and there I was stuck. I ended up having to do the omen reading as well since Hermes made it clear he had no intention of talking to the other woman who originally volunteered. Indeed, the large group ritual thing is not a part of my normal every day job description, but I guess that doesn't mean that I will never do it either; in hindsight perhaps this was my first taste of no clean and cut boundaries and roles and labels for you, as well as my first taste of never say never to a trickster. :-)
As much as I hate doing this, I do it anyway. For him. Because he wants me to. So far, its happened at least once a year that he pokes me again and sets the wheels into motion so that I end up in front of the crowd again (he just so loves volunteering me for shit). When I do this, its an offering in and of itself, because its so difficult and so against my character to do so. And over this last year, with as many problems as him and I have had adjusting to our new relationship dynamic, this offering becomes more important than ever (might be the purpose of the drama, oooh, look, something even more uncomfortable for her to do!).
In my own not so humble opinion, and I may be preaching to the choir here or I may not, if there is a person in a given Pagan group who is formally devoted to or has a very close working relationship with a particular deity, any ritual parts involving that deity should go to that person by default, turning to others only if for some reason they do not want it. And that goes about a hundred times over when you're talking about a deity most everyone else there knows very little to nothing about. I mean really, why have some random person doing the invocation/offering/ritual drama/whatever who is doing so merely to have the chance to participate, when there is someone there devoted to the god in question? Who do you really think the god would want more often than not? And I'm not just saying this because of these circumstances (really, if I could weasle my way out of this, I would, gladly), that's long been my personal policy, though admittely at our grove it doesn't seem to come up too often, nature of the group in its current incarnation I suppose (exceptions being people like me and Renee, the Bridgid fan club that every general Pagan group has to have, etc.).
So yeah, I think I'll be taking the roles set out for me, I'll dance for him as an apology. And then I'll step into the background again and no one will hear a ritual peep from me until ... well, whenever this comes around again. As for Little Miss Sunshine, hey its a big ritual and I'm only doing a few things in it, there will be plenty of parts left over, maybe they won't be as "cool" but hey, them's the breaks. Take one or don't, I honestly don't give a shit (frankly, if this is how you behave, complaining and storming off like that, and with some of your past behavior* I'm inclined toward pushing you to the sidelines, I won't but that's what I'm inclined toward). Next ritual, you can run the whole fucking thing yourself for all I care, you won't get any interference from me.
We'll see if this is the last heard from that corner. If she tries to bring it up again, she won't like my response.
* She pitched a fit at the grove once when Obama winning the election made people discuss how happy they were about that during a ritual; she's a republican I guess and found it offensive. I'm not a republican (or a democrat really) and I do agree politics need to be left out of ritual space (inside when we're all fucking around is fair game) to avoid even the appearence of an official endorsement of any party or politician. However the way to go about that is to have a quiet and calm discussion with someone after the ritual is over about why in general such things are not okay, how it could be uncomfortable and/or offensive to some people, etc. The way to handle it is not to start freaking out in front of everyone about how OMGZ, how DARE you all insult BUSH!!! He waz teh wonderfuls, if you can nots appreciate then you is both teh RONG and teh MEENZ!!!!