That Norse Time of Year - Thoughts on divine relationships and the coming New Year
In the last few days, I've been feeling a tug to pay some attention to my Norse friends. Unfortunately, my first respiratory cold of the winter hit me two days ago, its kind of knocked me on my ass; I have limited energy right now that drains out of me very quickly (and it ain't pretty right now when I hit empty), no capacity to sit in ritual and meditate or anything, and naturally no burning incense (and that is a good chunk of my poor man's offerings right there). So I'm putting it off until my health has improved.
I don't know if its because Yule is coming up. I had no real celebration plans beyond probably attending the grove's Yule rite. I haven't done enough reading on the holiday to feel that I understand enough what I am celebrating (and yeah, I consider that important) and while I could bounce around on a few web sites and get just enough information, but I'm not sure when I'll have time to do anything big and grand. Besides the currently health problems, I have a lot of shit coming up at the end of this month. Got plans to return to the family's for Christmas, but bigger than that Renee will be joining me in Massachusetts the day after Christmas for her turn at playing meet the girlfriend's family (I did that myself earlier in the year). Not that I think there will be any problems there, not with any of the relatives I plan to introduce her to (the others we avoid for a reason), we're just a viciously sarcastic bunch that puts everyone through a never ending hazing process, but Renee isn't a delicate little butterfly and I think she can take our collective shit, she puts up with mine just fine (its not always so easy, my sister's husband took a long time to adjust to life in our family :-)).
So between that, health, being broke for the month (train tickets from Baltimore to Boston and back at this time of year usually run me over $200, and I haven't been able to buy them yet because planning for transportation has been a little more complicated this time around), I'm kind of crapped out for the rest of the year.
But just because I may not be up to a big festival, doesn't mean I can't do little things. After all, I'm getting no particular call to celebrate Yule, just to say hi to the Norse I have around. Its been a little more than a year since I made that reconnection with a pantheon I had interest in on and off (reservations about the mainstream community and my closer ties to Hermes kept me from doing much with it). I've not been able to really work at forming those relationships because this last year has been so oh my gods fucking crazy!!!!! Seriously, its almost unbelievable, as the year draws to a close, to think back on everything that has happened. One sudden change after another. All good changes yes, and I am so much happier now than I have been at any point in my life before; but still when they keep coming at you like that it can make life kind of disorientating. Meeting Odin and Loki again was one of those early changes, but it soon got engulfed by all the others that followed, which were bigger and more immediate.
I have been thinking to make it a New Year's resolution to work on those relationships with the gods who have only poked at me, make an effort and see how far it is supposed to go. Odin and Loki came into my life rather dramatically so I'm sure there was a reason to draw my attention to them in the way that it was. The only other one there has been so far was Thor showing up again (I had made contact with him a few times years and years ago), but that was presented to me not as a close working relationship but more as an interest in casual friendship, feel free to say hi to me every now and then, that sort of thing. And that is all good. I haven't done much exploring with the rest of the three pantheons there to see if there are any other contacts to be made, and that's something else I have to do.
Its been several years since I've been doing this. Makes you feel like a noob all over again. :-P
My relationship in the Greek pantheon are probably fairly well set by now, and there never were that many of them. I tried for a while there to have a relationship with Persephone but it never really worked out and it feels like time to hang it up and focus more on other things, being as how I do have other relationships to work on that do seem wanted (which doesn't preclude trying again at another point in time perhaps when I have less on my plate, but I do need to prioritize here). Hekate was also one I tried last year but it quickly became apparent that wouldn't work out (actually her and Hermes have so much overlap, and I do think that figured into things that so many of her areas are his areas, the few exceptions I found mostly had to do with childbirth and being infertile by choice that's not something I have a whole lot of personal need of). I still have the two I'm barred from, and so many of the others just remain blanks to me.
I know many in the Hellenic community are big into worshipping the whole pantheon, but that's never been something I could agree with however hard I tried. I agree its important to always respect a deity for what they are and their place and importance in the world (and that goes for all deities, period), but nor do I think respect equals regular worship and nothing less. I also disagree with the notion that each and every god's sphere of interest will personally touch your life at some point; all people do not live the same kind of life and you can not make sweeping statements like that, even if something is typical and happens to most people is not to say it happens to everyone (speaking as one of those fringe odd balls that is often the exception to the rule, for years I avoided conversations about childhood and teenage years because I lacked all the typical life experiences that everyone else had, made for awkward and uncomfortable discussions; even now I tend to find the way I live my life, my dreams and goals and what is important to me rarely lines up with your typical person). And its not been my experience (and I know now I'm not alone in this) that the gods want attention from each and every person there is, some really don't care one way or the other and some are going to be opposed to your presence for whatever reason. You can't be friends with everyone, that's just the way it is wherever you go. And for those who do want to spread their attentions to the whole pantheon, that's fine with me if that's what you feel you should do, but I don't consider it a requirement; respect yes, worship no. I don't have the time and energy to do everything, and I'd rather not have my important relationships suffer while pursuing connections that just weren't meant to happen. You need to prioritize, and this is where I place my priorities; I've heard no complaints yet, and the gods have been able to get my attention (or my girlfriend's and have her talk to me) when they want me for something.
Also keep in mind here, I have connections in two pantheons. And considering that I have no issues with Jotun worship, that expands the Norse pantheon quite a bit. And that I believe in the individual existence of the gods of all pantheons, even ones I don't personally worship. Which gods do I give priority to? How can I say this pantheon really needs my constant attention, but not this other one here? What makes these gods that much more special than any others? Even if I just stick to the two I have connections with, if I wanted to give individual attention to everyone there was, I'd never have time to do anything else.
I do remember meeting a woman in a cave last year that oracles readings suggested might be Nyx. Never figured out what that was all about, since other things came up in the same ritual that would eventually take my mind off it altogether. And Athena once suggested she might like me to say hi at some point, likewise don't know what that is about but seemed to have less to do with any personal interest in me and more about my relationship with her brother (or so she said).
Much to think about for next year. So much to do.
I don't know if its because Yule is coming up. I had no real celebration plans beyond probably attending the grove's Yule rite. I haven't done enough reading on the holiday to feel that I understand enough what I am celebrating (and yeah, I consider that important) and while I could bounce around on a few web sites and get just enough information, but I'm not sure when I'll have time to do anything big and grand. Besides the currently health problems, I have a lot of shit coming up at the end of this month. Got plans to return to the family's for Christmas, but bigger than that Renee will be joining me in Massachusetts the day after Christmas for her turn at playing meet the girlfriend's family (I did that myself earlier in the year). Not that I think there will be any problems there, not with any of the relatives I plan to introduce her to (the others we avoid for a reason), we're just a viciously sarcastic bunch that puts everyone through a never ending hazing process, but Renee isn't a delicate little butterfly and I think she can take our collective shit, she puts up with mine just fine (its not always so easy, my sister's husband took a long time to adjust to life in our family :-)).
So between that, health, being broke for the month (train tickets from Baltimore to Boston and back at this time of year usually run me over $200, and I haven't been able to buy them yet because planning for transportation has been a little more complicated this time around), I'm kind of crapped out for the rest of the year.
But just because I may not be up to a big festival, doesn't mean I can't do little things. After all, I'm getting no particular call to celebrate Yule, just to say hi to the Norse I have around. Its been a little more than a year since I made that reconnection with a pantheon I had interest in on and off (reservations about the mainstream community and my closer ties to Hermes kept me from doing much with it). I've not been able to really work at forming those relationships because this last year has been so oh my gods fucking crazy!!!!! Seriously, its almost unbelievable, as the year draws to a close, to think back on everything that has happened. One sudden change after another. All good changes yes, and I am so much happier now than I have been at any point in my life before; but still when they keep coming at you like that it can make life kind of disorientating. Meeting Odin and Loki again was one of those early changes, but it soon got engulfed by all the others that followed, which were bigger and more immediate.
I have been thinking to make it a New Year's resolution to work on those relationships with the gods who have only poked at me, make an effort and see how far it is supposed to go. Odin and Loki came into my life rather dramatically so I'm sure there was a reason to draw my attention to them in the way that it was. The only other one there has been so far was Thor showing up again (I had made contact with him a few times years and years ago), but that was presented to me not as a close working relationship but more as an interest in casual friendship, feel free to say hi to me every now and then, that sort of thing. And that is all good. I haven't done much exploring with the rest of the three pantheons there to see if there are any other contacts to be made, and that's something else I have to do.
Its been several years since I've been doing this. Makes you feel like a noob all over again. :-P
My relationship in the Greek pantheon are probably fairly well set by now, and there never were that many of them. I tried for a while there to have a relationship with Persephone but it never really worked out and it feels like time to hang it up and focus more on other things, being as how I do have other relationships to work on that do seem wanted (which doesn't preclude trying again at another point in time perhaps when I have less on my plate, but I do need to prioritize here). Hekate was also one I tried last year but it quickly became apparent that wouldn't work out (actually her and Hermes have so much overlap, and I do think that figured into things that so many of her areas are his areas, the few exceptions I found mostly had to do with childbirth and being infertile by choice that's not something I have a whole lot of personal need of). I still have the two I'm barred from, and so many of the others just remain blanks to me.
I know many in the Hellenic community are big into worshipping the whole pantheon, but that's never been something I could agree with however hard I tried. I agree its important to always respect a deity for what they are and their place and importance in the world (and that goes for all deities, period), but nor do I think respect equals regular worship and nothing less. I also disagree with the notion that each and every god's sphere of interest will personally touch your life at some point; all people do not live the same kind of life and you can not make sweeping statements like that, even if something is typical and happens to most people is not to say it happens to everyone (speaking as one of those fringe odd balls that is often the exception to the rule, for years I avoided conversations about childhood and teenage years because I lacked all the typical life experiences that everyone else had, made for awkward and uncomfortable discussions; even now I tend to find the way I live my life, my dreams and goals and what is important to me rarely lines up with your typical person). And its not been my experience (and I know now I'm not alone in this) that the gods want attention from each and every person there is, some really don't care one way or the other and some are going to be opposed to your presence for whatever reason. You can't be friends with everyone, that's just the way it is wherever you go. And for those who do want to spread their attentions to the whole pantheon, that's fine with me if that's what you feel you should do, but I don't consider it a requirement; respect yes, worship no. I don't have the time and energy to do everything, and I'd rather not have my important relationships suffer while pursuing connections that just weren't meant to happen. You need to prioritize, and this is where I place my priorities; I've heard no complaints yet, and the gods have been able to get my attention (or my girlfriend's and have her talk to me) when they want me for something.
Also keep in mind here, I have connections in two pantheons. And considering that I have no issues with Jotun worship, that expands the Norse pantheon quite a bit. And that I believe in the individual existence of the gods of all pantheons, even ones I don't personally worship. Which gods do I give priority to? How can I say this pantheon really needs my constant attention, but not this other one here? What makes these gods that much more special than any others? Even if I just stick to the two I have connections with, if I wanted to give individual attention to everyone there was, I'd never have time to do anything else.
I do remember meeting a woman in a cave last year that oracles readings suggested might be Nyx. Never figured out what that was all about, since other things came up in the same ritual that would eventually take my mind off it altogether. And Athena once suggested she might like me to say hi at some point, likewise don't know what that is about but seemed to have less to do with any personal interest in me and more about my relationship with her brother (or so she said).
Much to think about for next year. So much to do.