Therapeutic Letter Writing
Dear Mr. Chinese Food Delivery Guy,
I don't know how it is with your restaurant, but most ones that I am familiar with don't deliver Chinese food randomly door to door. Am I right? So if you're coming to my address, that must mean that I called you. And if I called you, it stands to reason that I know you're coming and I'll be waiting somewhere in the vicinity of the door with money in hand.
So was there really any need then for you to pound on my door bell, hitting the button over and over and over again until I actually open the door. For one thing there are people trying to sleep in here, people that work night shift and don't have long to rest today. More importantly than that, its just obnoxious and makes me want to punch your brains out the back of your head.
I'm sorry that I wasn't waiting outside for you, but its kind of windy outside and generally your restaurant (and every other one in the area) have been delivering our food ridiculously late the last several times we've ordered. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to teleport instantly to the doorway the moment your foot hit the porch. I'm sorry that you had to wait such an incredibly long time for me to get up out of my chair, walk all the way across the room and unlock the door. That must have been just simply unbearable for you. Clearly you have places you need to be, important stuff you need to be doing. And there I was, selfishly sucking away a whole thirty seconds of your time slowly meandering over to the door. How inconsiderate of me! I apologize and will try to do better next time. What if I were to meet you in the restaurant's parking lot next time, you hand me the food there? Would that be more convenient for you?
And brushing me off when I'm trying to explain all this to you in person, walking off like I'm not talking to you, its makes you look like an even bigger douche bag than you did before. And you wonder why you don't get tipped.
Here's hoping the next customer you pull this with kicks you in the balls.
Sincerely,
Gavin
I don't know how it is with your restaurant, but most ones that I am familiar with don't deliver Chinese food randomly door to door. Am I right? So if you're coming to my address, that must mean that I called you. And if I called you, it stands to reason that I know you're coming and I'll be waiting somewhere in the vicinity of the door with money in hand.
So was there really any need then for you to pound on my door bell, hitting the button over and over and over again until I actually open the door. For one thing there are people trying to sleep in here, people that work night shift and don't have long to rest today. More importantly than that, its just obnoxious and makes me want to punch your brains out the back of your head.
I'm sorry that I wasn't waiting outside for you, but its kind of windy outside and generally your restaurant (and every other one in the area) have been delivering our food ridiculously late the last several times we've ordered. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to teleport instantly to the doorway the moment your foot hit the porch. I'm sorry that you had to wait such an incredibly long time for me to get up out of my chair, walk all the way across the room and unlock the door. That must have been just simply unbearable for you. Clearly you have places you need to be, important stuff you need to be doing. And there I was, selfishly sucking away a whole thirty seconds of your time slowly meandering over to the door. How inconsiderate of me! I apologize and will try to do better next time. What if I were to meet you in the restaurant's parking lot next time, you hand me the food there? Would that be more convenient for you?
And brushing me off when I'm trying to explain all this to you in person, walking off like I'm not talking to you, its makes you look like an even bigger douche bag than you did before. And you wonder why you don't get tipped.
Here's hoping the next customer you pull this with kicks you in the balls.
Sincerely,
Gavin