Transition
I know I had been warned via an oracle that I would be going through a rough transitional period as the new developments in my spiritual life take their proper places and settle down. I don't think I expected this. i expected more outward expressions of this turmoil, I don't know why but I did. I expected life, or at least parts of life to turn upside down. Might have been a little easier that way, I mean that I am used to, happened several times before, I can deal with it and I know I'll live through it.
This has been mostly an internal thing. My mood has been all over the place lately, mostly somewhere toward the bottom. I feel like I want to be alone a lot more often than I usually do. I get pissy when I do have to be around people (again, more so than I usually am). That weird disconnected feeling has persisted, comes and goes. At best I've been numb for the last few weeks.
Worse, I think its actually affecting my health as well. This winter it seems like I'm catching everything, feeling very run down. I'm usually a low energy person and I've learned to deal with that, but what little energy I have is being sucked away and every other week or so its like I'm just not up for anything. Insomnia is in full swing as well.
I have just been so miserable these last few months and I really can't wait for this transition period to be over and done with.
Things are all still well and good with Hermes. The one ritual experience I had with Odin was unexpectedly intense, but fine. My problems lie with Loki. Again, I was told this via an oracle and it really surprised me at the time to hear that I was actively blocking him off because I didn't want him in my life, or at least part of me didn't. Though now I know that's definitely the case. This was going to be my week devoted to Loki and all that internal bullshit which mostly dissipated last week flared up in full. Its gotten in the way of me doing much of anything.
Though I have been walking around with this issue in my head all week long, slowly turning it over and over. As what usually happens when I obsessively chew something over, I think I've gained some enlightenment on what my problems are with Loki, why its pulling me apart inside to connect with him. I don't think I've worked through it all, I think there's some things I just don't know yet, but I do think I've gotten some of it. And knowing exactly what the problem is goes a long way toward helping to get it solved.
I will explain, but probably sometime over the weekend. Its late now and I need to go to bed so I can get up and drag myself back to work in the morning. Not that work has been that bad lately, I'm there all by myself more often than not, just me and the TV; yes new office has a TV and cable, making things much more bearable for me since I just function better and work harder when I have TV to watch.
(oh yes, and there's my Loki icon. I found this picture on a couple websites, Renee thinks its kind of creepy which must be why I like it)
This has been mostly an internal thing. My mood has been all over the place lately, mostly somewhere toward the bottom. I feel like I want to be alone a lot more often than I usually do. I get pissy when I do have to be around people (again, more so than I usually am). That weird disconnected feeling has persisted, comes and goes. At best I've been numb for the last few weeks.
Worse, I think its actually affecting my health as well. This winter it seems like I'm catching everything, feeling very run down. I'm usually a low energy person and I've learned to deal with that, but what little energy I have is being sucked away and every other week or so its like I'm just not up for anything. Insomnia is in full swing as well.
I have just been so miserable these last few months and I really can't wait for this transition period to be over and done with.
Things are all still well and good with Hermes. The one ritual experience I had with Odin was unexpectedly intense, but fine. My problems lie with Loki. Again, I was told this via an oracle and it really surprised me at the time to hear that I was actively blocking him off because I didn't want him in my life, or at least part of me didn't. Though now I know that's definitely the case. This was going to be my week devoted to Loki and all that internal bullshit which mostly dissipated last week flared up in full. Its gotten in the way of me doing much of anything.
Though I have been walking around with this issue in my head all week long, slowly turning it over and over. As what usually happens when I obsessively chew something over, I think I've gained some enlightenment on what my problems are with Loki, why its pulling me apart inside to connect with him. I don't think I've worked through it all, I think there's some things I just don't know yet, but I do think I've gotten some of it. And knowing exactly what the problem is goes a long way toward helping to get it solved.
I will explain, but probably sometime over the weekend. Its late now and I need to go to bed so I can get up and drag myself back to work in the morning. Not that work has been that bad lately, I'm there all by myself more often than not, just me and the TV; yes new office has a TV and cable, making things much more bearable for me since I just function better and work harder when I have TV to watch.
(oh yes, and there's my Loki icon. I found this picture on a couple websites, Renee thinks its kind of creepy which must be why I like it)