(no subject)

Jan 28, 2006 22:27

so yea, might i just add that i love my girls......they always put me in a much better mood...i spent the night at laurs house, so much fun...i believe that we spent the entire 2days talkin about briley and josh....never realized how much we both like thoes guyz.....but i said everything, and it felt so good...i ahvent said my true feelings about josh in a while, i miss him.....i really do, and amber....shes here 2 make sure im happy.....we decided that amber is the mom, laur is the kid, and im just adorable....haha..well...at lest thats wut laur says...hehe. anyways....went to movies 2night wit amber....we say glory road, it was halarious! beyond awsome!! hehe....we were jokin on blacks and mexicans, it was so much fun....well, i wouldnt say that we were jokin on them ,,, but ya kno wut i mean?

alright so im talkin 2 josh on IM.....i dont kno, he comfused the shit outta me, but as he confuses me hes so adorable! i dont know......gah....i asked him if he believed that i did feel bad about cheatin on him...and he didnt really answer me, thats where it became confusing......so yea, i dont kno...i wanna bring up my feelings about him but i dont think that that would b the best thing to do rigjt now, i wanna get to kno him again, and i wanna become friends again....that comes 1st....tho i do miss his touch, his voice, how he writes things on my hand, his eyes lookin into mine, and defentally his kiss.... i dont kno.....but its best to always be friends 1st before anything, and i doubt that we will ever get back 2gether.....dont really believe that he has anymore of thoes special feelings towards me anymore...........

talked 2 matthew 2nights ago, i told him that i wanted my feelings for him o go away, i dont wanna like him anymore....and he said that he would help my feelings to go away, even though they r almost all gone, i think it would b best if i knew 4 a fact that they were gone..........it was kinda a bad converation...but it was a truthful conversation...something that we needed.....so yea, im kinda glad that it happened.....i feel bad, i really do hope that we will b the best of friends i do hope that his feelings for my start 3 fade away, because my feelings 4 him r fading....and i dont know what 2 do, i dont know if the truth is the right thing 2 do....i mean, i cant follow my heart...tho i duno wut my true feelings r, wut i thought my true feelings r might b my mind and my heart colliding, makin nonsence.....but with some things u will never know.....

all in all---everything is goin good, 2day was a beautiful day.....warm,sunny...and im serisouly tryin to get my hair cut 4 locks of love, but i havent had the time 2 go, i need 2 if i want my hair 2 b long again 4 the summer....gah.....im really scared tho......but yea, thats about all thats goin on in my life right now.....some bad, some confusing, some wishful thinking, but most good....
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