Update II
So here i am again, thinking to myself about random crap again. And yet here i am again about to go into a depression. Jesus i swear i dont know why, when im at my parents house i get like this. It fucking sucks, nothing i do is ever good enough. Nothing i say is ever right. And een when i dont say anything, they wonder wtf is wrong with me and ask questions til i snap. Despite all my "nothing, just tired" answers they always find a way to tick me off and send me to depression
Its amazin how i havent just murdered my family and commit suicide :).
Jk
In all seriousness im starting to think goin to the army isnt all that bad anymore. For one i get to leave this crap of a town called oakland, hoke of the "hyphy" better known as no life jobless dumb fucks.
Im getting to the point where i think im just not meant being around people, the sight of someone else talking to me is starting to bug me. Hell im starting to think being alone aint all that bad, who knows maybe my childhood dream of being alone is fialnally shaping up. :)
My gf is super wierd, it may just be me but i honestly dont think i get her anymore. She does things for reasons i dont know and it makes me wonder whether she even uses her brain to think things through. The way shes been acting lately just makes me think shes becomin a gold digger, which is funny because i dont own jewelery or gold....-chuckle chuckle- yeah i know thats not even close to my comedic talent but still im not realy in the mood to care right now
Maybe im just upset with how things just get ruined whenever i plan shit, mqybe im just being selfish idk. My valentines day was pretty gay, her mom went to the hospital - shes fine now- so her having a heart attack was just awful timing i mean dont get me wrong we were worried for her pero months of planning ruined.
And then on the 19th it was our 3 yr anniversary and this time she got sick so there went some more plannin going out the window. What did i end up doing that night? Nothing, if it wasnt for a friend of mine who hit me up at 11pm and asked me if i wanted to have a couple of drinks with her. No i didnt fuck her and no i didnt make ot with her incase you guys thought that. And yes she was pretty drunk but i dont want to be that guy that takes advantage of the situation. Even though it did feel like she wanted to get taken advantage idk lol. But nah i didnt only because shes only one of about a handful of people i actually talk to, and the last thing i want is lose someone over some awkward situation.
Overall that night made my weekend it was fun and it cheered me up after such a shitty week.
I need to save up as much money as i can and just get the hell out of here, i need my own spot i know i can manage on my own. Ive supported myself and two other humans why wouldnt i be able to support myself?
As for future plans, join the gym is probably 55% right now , the military about 70% and go to college is about 12% .
The other day i was listening to the radio on why so many people are going to college now adays when before the main reason this whole college after highschool wad just a way to avoid the draft in the 60s and then people just believed it was just something you did after high school, and now its just part of keeping in touch with friends only to have drop out after a yr into college, and then deciding not to work so going back a community college. They were saying more and more kids are doing this, and that maybe they should stop accepting seniors and just start accepting people in theyre mid 20s. Which made alot of sense. For one they already have an idea on what they want to be, and they got a glimpse of the real world. 2 they probably alot more research than many high school seniors did i mean lets face it alot of seniors dont even care if the college is good for their career as long as they get to stick with theyre friends. Idk it made alot more sense honestly.
Lol wow talk about a random update :) i love and hate how my brain works sometimes lol its so ..... Salad .....-random- .....
Its amazin how i havent just murdered my family and commit suicide :).
Jk
In all seriousness im starting to think goin to the army isnt all that bad anymore. For one i get to leave this crap of a town called oakland, hoke of the "hyphy" better known as no life jobless dumb fucks.
Im getting to the point where i think im just not meant being around people, the sight of someone else talking to me is starting to bug me. Hell im starting to think being alone aint all that bad, who knows maybe my childhood dream of being alone is fialnally shaping up. :)
My gf is super wierd, it may just be me but i honestly dont think i get her anymore. She does things for reasons i dont know and it makes me wonder whether she even uses her brain to think things through. The way shes been acting lately just makes me think shes becomin a gold digger, which is funny because i dont own jewelery or gold....-chuckle chuckle- yeah i know thats not even close to my comedic talent but still im not realy in the mood to care right now
Maybe im just upset with how things just get ruined whenever i plan shit, mqybe im just being selfish idk. My valentines day was pretty gay, her mom went to the hospital - shes fine now- so her having a heart attack was just awful timing i mean dont get me wrong we were worried for her pero months of planning ruined.
And then on the 19th it was our 3 yr anniversary and this time she got sick so there went some more plannin going out the window. What did i end up doing that night? Nothing, if it wasnt for a friend of mine who hit me up at 11pm and asked me if i wanted to have a couple of drinks with her. No i didnt fuck her and no i didnt make ot with her incase you guys thought that. And yes she was pretty drunk but i dont want to be that guy that takes advantage of the situation. Even though it did feel like she wanted to get taken advantage idk lol. But nah i didnt only because shes only one of about a handful of people i actually talk to, and the last thing i want is lose someone over some awkward situation.
Overall that night made my weekend it was fun and it cheered me up after such a shitty week.
I need to save up as much money as i can and just get the hell out of here, i need my own spot i know i can manage on my own. Ive supported myself and two other humans why wouldnt i be able to support myself?
As for future plans, join the gym is probably 55% right now , the military about 70% and go to college is about 12% .
The other day i was listening to the radio on why so many people are going to college now adays when before the main reason this whole college after highschool wad just a way to avoid the draft in the 60s and then people just believed it was just something you did after high school, and now its just part of keeping in touch with friends only to have drop out after a yr into college, and then deciding not to work so going back a community college. They were saying more and more kids are doing this, and that maybe they should stop accepting seniors and just start accepting people in theyre mid 20s. Which made alot of sense. For one they already have an idea on what they want to be, and they got a glimpse of the real world. 2 they probably alot more research than many high school seniors did i mean lets face it alot of seniors dont even care if the college is good for their career as long as they get to stick with theyre friends. Idk it made alot more sense honestly.
Lol wow talk about a random update :) i love and hate how my brain works sometimes lol its so ..... Salad .....-random- .....