A Rant
Everything you do will prepare you for everything else
It doesn't make sense in the process
In fact, it is often frustrating, frightening as it happens
Learning
About life and how to "keep going"
I am realizing that adage about hindsight.
I think my intuition fails me at times
But relying on it too much perhaps would be foolish anyway
So maybe failing forward keeps me grounded
The things I have to do do not always wait for me to be ready
More often than not, the consequences; the accumulated cost
Of not doing them falls upon me when I'm not ready to take care of it
It takes more time to make up for than
Than it would have to have just done what I had to do in the first place
The ultimate vulnerability that this reveals in me is humbling
To humble myself has been a great struggle
Because I've always wanted to do it all by myself
Partially from pride, but also by not wanting to count on anyone
But the flaw of this model is that I need to be able to count on more than myself
A way of life really reveals itself through mistakes
Mistakes widen the perspective of what is possible
And when there is no failsafe, you find yourself broadened
Wiser
Than could have been if nothing ever went wrong
It would be hard to realize wisdom without struggle
Just like it would be hard to appreciate health without some acknowledgement of sickness
Growing pains are youthful ideals meeting rules of establishment
The institution need not be a barrier
But you learn to play smarter so that things can no longer get in the way
At that point, when you play smart, the only obstacle is yourself
So the growing pain there is how to master and channel whatever is in you
Without crashing and burning in a pile of rubble
Without giving up from a history of mistakes made and redeemed
Growing pain is the lesson of how it feels to always, unrelentingly, "keep going."
It doesn't make sense in the process
In fact, it is often frustrating, frightening as it happens
Learning
About life and how to "keep going"
I am realizing that adage about hindsight.
I think my intuition fails me at times
But relying on it too much perhaps would be foolish anyway
So maybe failing forward keeps me grounded
The things I have to do do not always wait for me to be ready
More often than not, the consequences; the accumulated cost
Of not doing them falls upon me when I'm not ready to take care of it
It takes more time to make up for than
Than it would have to have just done what I had to do in the first place
The ultimate vulnerability that this reveals in me is humbling
To humble myself has been a great struggle
Because I've always wanted to do it all by myself
Partially from pride, but also by not wanting to count on anyone
But the flaw of this model is that I need to be able to count on more than myself
A way of life really reveals itself through mistakes
Mistakes widen the perspective of what is possible
And when there is no failsafe, you find yourself broadened
Wiser
Than could have been if nothing ever went wrong
It would be hard to realize wisdom without struggle
Just like it would be hard to appreciate health without some acknowledgement of sickness
Growing pains are youthful ideals meeting rules of establishment
The institution need not be a barrier
But you learn to play smarter so that things can no longer get in the way
At that point, when you play smart, the only obstacle is yourself
So the growing pain there is how to master and channel whatever is in you
Without crashing and burning in a pile of rubble
Without giving up from a history of mistakes made and redeemed
Growing pain is the lesson of how it feels to always, unrelentingly, "keep going."