[Super Junior] Wherever You Will Go, PG, angst, bandfic
For nemesis_cry, who wanted angsty fic regarding the 24-hour marathon that the poor boys suffered through (but they made it! ♥). This is based off the idea that SJM must have been equally or more horrified as us fans to hear about the rough times SuJu had in the marathon, made worse by the distance.
Second fic re the marathon. First was a mini-drabble (platonic KangTeuk) here.
Wherever You Will Go
Super Junior (M), bandfic, PG, 1360 words
Sometimes the distance between Korea and China feels infinite.
Wherever You Will Go
by meitachi
“Did you hear,” said Ryeowook, and suddenly their day off lost a lot of its glamour.
Ryeowook’s expression said it all, in words that Henry didn’t understand. But Kyuhyun did, automatically reaching out for Ryeowook’s hand and tugging the other member across the distance between them and onto his bed. He wrapped his arms around Ryeowook.
“What happened?” he asked softly.
Han Geng and Donghae didn’t ask and Henry suspected that they didn’t need to, that they recognized the stricken expression and pale fear naked on Ryeowook’s face. Han Geng said, “Find Siwon and Zhou Mi,” as he pulled out his cell phone, fingers trembling. Donghae scrambled off his bed and darted out of the hotel room.
“No, it’s not,” Ryeowook hastened to explain, his voice soft and words stumbling over each other. “It wasn’t-” He sank back into Kyuhyun’s embrace. “Yesung hurt his leg,” he said. “It was part of the marathon they were doing. They-they’re mostly okay.” But the tremble in his voice hadn’t faded, despite his own reassurance.
Henry stayed quiet but he shifted in his position on Kyuhyun’s bed, where he’d been looking over a couple of magazines in Chinese. He wanted to reach out to Ryeowook, squeeze his arm in a gesture of support, but he wasn’t sure if he were allowed to. This wasn’t his place, he thought with a sinking feeling, this desperate worry about a family that wasn’t his. His gaze fell to the bed as Han Geng said, sharply, “Jungsu-hyung?”
“We just heard, from Ryeowook-no, I don’t know-” Han Geng looked at Ryeowook, and in awkward Korean-(he stumbled more when he was upset, Henry noticed)-asked, “How did you find out?”
“Jongwoon-hyung,” Ryeowook whispered. “I just got off the phone with him.”
That explained his red eyes, Henry thought. He put his hands in his lap and bit his lip, unsure of what he could do with the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach or the urge to somehow fix everything. He didn’t even know what was wrong. What could he do? (Who was he to do anything at all?)
Ryeowook started to cry again into Kyuhyun’s shoulder and Henry could only watch unhappily, at a loss.
--
Han Geng knew Ryeowook had said that the other members were more or less all right, but what did that mean? How could Yesung have hurt his leg? What about everyone else? How could this happen to them while he wasn’t there? Worse, he thought as he swallowed, fingers tightening on the phone, when he hadn’t even been thinking about them, too thankful for a day off.
“Jungsu-hyung,” he said, voice sharp with worry when the phone picked up.
“Hankyung?” The voice was soft, familiar, and the Korean version of his name after growing used to hearing his Chinese name in his mother tongue-chanted by fans, announced by MCs, even murmured by Siwon-brought a lump to his throat.
“Hyung?” he repeated tightly. “We just heard, from Ryeowook.” (Are you okay?)
“How did he know? Did someone call you?”
“No, I don’t know-” Han Geng looked up at Ryeowook, who was shaking in Kyuhyun’s arms. Kyuhyun himself looked grim, his brows pulled together and his lips drawn in a thin, unhappy line. “He heard from Jongwoon. How is he?” He tried to find the right words, searching his memory for things he’d learned what felt like too long ago. His tongue tripped over unfamiliar sounds and grammar and a part of him clenched in guilt. “I hear-heard he was hurt.” (Please be okay.)
Jungsu’s voice was low in his ear. “He was taken to the hospital in an ambulance,” and Han Geng thought his heart might stop because he remembered the last time he heard news like this-god, no, please, not again… He flashed a desperate look at Kyuhyun, who returns his stare apprehensively. Han Geng stopped breathing for a moment, the only thing in his mind a hard, distinct denial. No.
It couldn’t be. Not when he was separated from the people who needed him, from the people he needed in return. Not when he was on the verge of being so happy, despite the obstacles, not when he would feel so wretched about being happy because what was this dream compared to the members that he loved like family?
Then Jungsu said, equally desperate, “He hurt his leg but he’s fine otherwise. Hankyung, I’m sorry, don’t-” He knew exactly where Han Geng’s mind had gone, of course. “Don’t think like that. It’s not that bad,” Jungsu whispered and he sounded so, so tired. Han Geng’s heart lurched, in sympathy and in shame. (He had been so happy for the day off.) “He’s just on crutches.”
Han Geng felt something in him ease, incrementally, in relief, but he remained tense. There had to be more. “What happened?”
The door flew open and Siwon appeared in the doorway, expression drawn in worry. “What happened?” he repeated as Donghae and Zhou Mi spilled into the room after him, anxious.
--
It wasn’t so bad, Kyuhyun told himself. Jongwoon-hyung was on crutches but he had only suffered a swollen calf muscle, no sprain or permanent damage. Jungsu-hyung had suffered hip pain the entire marathon, but he had made it through with no lasting damage. There had been pain and there had been tears, but everyone was all right. Everything was okay now.
Kyuhyun swallowed back his own tears and wondered if he could lie to even himself.
Everything was not okay. Everything was not okay because Jongwoon-hyung and Jungsu-hyung had been hurt, and he’d been in another country, completely unaware.
The distance between China and Korea had never seemed so far and so cruel. Kyuhyun buried his face in Ryeowook’s hair and tried to quell the ache rising in his chest. Ryeowook’s hand tightened almost painfully around his.
From behind, a large palm slid over his back in long, comforting strokes.
Kyuhyun thought first: Siwon. But Siwon was on the other bed, holding Donghae and trying to talk to Hyukjae on the phone. Han Geng had walked out of the room a few minutes ago, looking upset and as if he wanted to be left alone. (Kyuhyun wanted to reach out to him, but he didn’t know how, not when he was youngest of thirteen. He didn’t know what it was like to bear all that responsibility.)
Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun thought next. He lifted his head and turned to look back at him, not sure what he was expecting.
The older man didn’t pretend he understood their pain. His eyes were dark and sympathetic as he continued running his hand down Kyuhyun’s back. “I’m sorry,” he said simply, the Korean words coming out with only the faintest hint of accent.
He didn’t understand, but he knew he didn’t understand. He acknowledged his distance, his lack of history with the other members. Kyuhyun was suddenly grateful for that, because despite the distance, he still cared. It suddenly seemed so important that he did.
Trying to make the best of things, Kyuhyun muttered, “It’s just a swollen calf,” but he didn’t convince himself and he was fairly sure he hadn’t convinced Zhou Mi either. He looked down at Ryeowook again, who had stopped crying but hadn’t let go of his hand.
“It was for the marathon,” Kyuhyun tried, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. “It was for a good cause. And they made it through.”
He looked over at Donghae and Siwon. His voice softened. “They’re fine.” (We’re fine.)
“Everything’s okay now,” he said again, and this time, with Zhou Mi’s hand on his back, he believed it a little more.
--
Eventually, Henry hesitantly moved towards Ryeowook and offered his arms. Ryeowook looked at him, and then slid away from Kyuhyun, releasing his hand as he folded himself into Henry’s hug.
Watching them, Kyuhyun smiled.
--
“I’m okay,” Jongwoon said on the speakerphone, laughing ruefully. “Seriously, you guys, relax a little. It was sort of hell at the time, but I’m fine. I’ll be fine. We’re okay.”
Han Geng wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand as Jongwoon added, voice growing tender, “And, Hankyung, don’t be so hard on yourself. We all believe in you. You’re a great leader. Jungsu’s jealous of the way you can get your kids to behave.”
He laughed again and Han Geng smiled through his tears as Donghae wrapped an arm around him and rested his head on Han Geng’s shoulder.
“It’s all right,” Jongwoon said. “It was worth it.”
(We’re fine.)
“We’re proud of you, hyung,” Siwon said.
“No,” Jongwoon returned, completely sincere, “we’re proud of you.”
--
Started/Finished: 05.11.08
Notes: ...gratuitous angst, I'm so sorry. But I totally believe in cross-border friendship/family bonds. Love knows no boundaries~ Plus, nemesis_cry wanted a semi-happy ending. :)
Edit: Have a Donghae-centric snippet because I couldn't fit this into the actual fic and because, well, I have to show my Hae!bias.
When he hears the news and suffers the aftermath, all Donghae wants to do is call Heechul. He unwraps his arms from around Han Geng so the older man can sit in a corner with Siwon, where they exchange a whispered conversation about how Han Geng needs to stop taking so much responsibility onto himself. Donghae watches Siwon smooth the creases from Han Geng's brow with his fingers and thinks that Han Geng will be okay.
On the bed, Zhou Mi, Henry, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun are a tangle of arms and silent support. Donghae squeezes Kyuhyun's shoulder and presses a kiss to Ryeowook's head, and then he is out of the room, fishing his cell phone from his pocket.
When everything falls apart, Donghae turns first to Heechul. Even though Hyukjae is his best friend and Jungsu is like a second mother, even though he can tell Donghee almost anything and Youngwoon has always given him good advice, Donghae always comes to Heechul to put everything back together.
The phone rings once, twice, and then Heechul is saying, in that quiet voice he always uses when he knows why Donghae is calling, "Hey."
Somehow, for Donghae, Heechul has always been like home.
Second fic re the marathon. First was a mini-drabble (platonic KangTeuk) here.
Wherever You Will Go
Super Junior (M), bandfic, PG, 1360 words
Sometimes the distance between Korea and China feels infinite.
Wherever You Will Go
by meitachi
“Did you hear,” said Ryeowook, and suddenly their day off lost a lot of its glamour.
Ryeowook’s expression said it all, in words that Henry didn’t understand. But Kyuhyun did, automatically reaching out for Ryeowook’s hand and tugging the other member across the distance between them and onto his bed. He wrapped his arms around Ryeowook.
“What happened?” he asked softly.
Han Geng and Donghae didn’t ask and Henry suspected that they didn’t need to, that they recognized the stricken expression and pale fear naked on Ryeowook’s face. Han Geng said, “Find Siwon and Zhou Mi,” as he pulled out his cell phone, fingers trembling. Donghae scrambled off his bed and darted out of the hotel room.
“No, it’s not,” Ryeowook hastened to explain, his voice soft and words stumbling over each other. “It wasn’t-” He sank back into Kyuhyun’s embrace. “Yesung hurt his leg,” he said. “It was part of the marathon they were doing. They-they’re mostly okay.” But the tremble in his voice hadn’t faded, despite his own reassurance.
Henry stayed quiet but he shifted in his position on Kyuhyun’s bed, where he’d been looking over a couple of magazines in Chinese. He wanted to reach out to Ryeowook, squeeze his arm in a gesture of support, but he wasn’t sure if he were allowed to. This wasn’t his place, he thought with a sinking feeling, this desperate worry about a family that wasn’t his. His gaze fell to the bed as Han Geng said, sharply, “Jungsu-hyung?”
“We just heard, from Ryeowook-no, I don’t know-” Han Geng looked at Ryeowook, and in awkward Korean-(he stumbled more when he was upset, Henry noticed)-asked, “How did you find out?”
“Jongwoon-hyung,” Ryeowook whispered. “I just got off the phone with him.”
That explained his red eyes, Henry thought. He put his hands in his lap and bit his lip, unsure of what he could do with the uneasy feeling in the pit of his stomach or the urge to somehow fix everything. He didn’t even know what was wrong. What could he do? (Who was he to do anything at all?)
Ryeowook started to cry again into Kyuhyun’s shoulder and Henry could only watch unhappily, at a loss.
--
Han Geng knew Ryeowook had said that the other members were more or less all right, but what did that mean? How could Yesung have hurt his leg? What about everyone else? How could this happen to them while he wasn’t there? Worse, he thought as he swallowed, fingers tightening on the phone, when he hadn’t even been thinking about them, too thankful for a day off.
“Jungsu-hyung,” he said, voice sharp with worry when the phone picked up.
“Hankyung?” The voice was soft, familiar, and the Korean version of his name after growing used to hearing his Chinese name in his mother tongue-chanted by fans, announced by MCs, even murmured by Siwon-brought a lump to his throat.
“Hyung?” he repeated tightly. “We just heard, from Ryeowook.” (Are you okay?)
“How did he know? Did someone call you?”
“No, I don’t know-” Han Geng looked up at Ryeowook, who was shaking in Kyuhyun’s arms. Kyuhyun himself looked grim, his brows pulled together and his lips drawn in a thin, unhappy line. “He heard from Jongwoon. How is he?” He tried to find the right words, searching his memory for things he’d learned what felt like too long ago. His tongue tripped over unfamiliar sounds and grammar and a part of him clenched in guilt. “I hear-heard he was hurt.” (Please be okay.)
Jungsu’s voice was low in his ear. “He was taken to the hospital in an ambulance,” and Han Geng thought his heart might stop because he remembered the last time he heard news like this-god, no, please, not again… He flashed a desperate look at Kyuhyun, who returns his stare apprehensively. Han Geng stopped breathing for a moment, the only thing in his mind a hard, distinct denial. No.
It couldn’t be. Not when he was separated from the people who needed him, from the people he needed in return. Not when he was on the verge of being so happy, despite the obstacles, not when he would feel so wretched about being happy because what was this dream compared to the members that he loved like family?
Then Jungsu said, equally desperate, “He hurt his leg but he’s fine otherwise. Hankyung, I’m sorry, don’t-” He knew exactly where Han Geng’s mind had gone, of course. “Don’t think like that. It’s not that bad,” Jungsu whispered and he sounded so, so tired. Han Geng’s heart lurched, in sympathy and in shame. (He had been so happy for the day off.) “He’s just on crutches.”
Han Geng felt something in him ease, incrementally, in relief, but he remained tense. There had to be more. “What happened?”
The door flew open and Siwon appeared in the doorway, expression drawn in worry. “What happened?” he repeated as Donghae and Zhou Mi spilled into the room after him, anxious.
--
It wasn’t so bad, Kyuhyun told himself. Jongwoon-hyung was on crutches but he had only suffered a swollen calf muscle, no sprain or permanent damage. Jungsu-hyung had suffered hip pain the entire marathon, but he had made it through with no lasting damage. There had been pain and there had been tears, but everyone was all right. Everything was okay now.
Kyuhyun swallowed back his own tears and wondered if he could lie to even himself.
Everything was not okay. Everything was not okay because Jongwoon-hyung and Jungsu-hyung had been hurt, and he’d been in another country, completely unaware.
The distance between China and Korea had never seemed so far and so cruel. Kyuhyun buried his face in Ryeowook’s hair and tried to quell the ache rising in his chest. Ryeowook’s hand tightened almost painfully around his.
From behind, a large palm slid over his back in long, comforting strokes.
Kyuhyun thought first: Siwon. But Siwon was on the other bed, holding Donghae and trying to talk to Hyukjae on the phone. Han Geng had walked out of the room a few minutes ago, looking upset and as if he wanted to be left alone. (Kyuhyun wanted to reach out to him, but he didn’t know how, not when he was youngest of thirteen. He didn’t know what it was like to bear all that responsibility.)
Zhou Mi, Kyuhyun thought next. He lifted his head and turned to look back at him, not sure what he was expecting.
The older man didn’t pretend he understood their pain. His eyes were dark and sympathetic as he continued running his hand down Kyuhyun’s back. “I’m sorry,” he said simply, the Korean words coming out with only the faintest hint of accent.
He didn’t understand, but he knew he didn’t understand. He acknowledged his distance, his lack of history with the other members. Kyuhyun was suddenly grateful for that, because despite the distance, he still cared. It suddenly seemed so important that he did.
Trying to make the best of things, Kyuhyun muttered, “It’s just a swollen calf,” but he didn’t convince himself and he was fairly sure he hadn’t convinced Zhou Mi either. He looked down at Ryeowook again, who had stopped crying but hadn’t let go of his hand.
“It was for the marathon,” Kyuhyun tried, his voice sounding foreign to his own ears. “It was for a good cause. And they made it through.”
He looked over at Donghae and Siwon. His voice softened. “They’re fine.” (We’re fine.)
“Everything’s okay now,” he said again, and this time, with Zhou Mi’s hand on his back, he believed it a little more.
--
Eventually, Henry hesitantly moved towards Ryeowook and offered his arms. Ryeowook looked at him, and then slid away from Kyuhyun, releasing his hand as he folded himself into Henry’s hug.
Watching them, Kyuhyun smiled.
--
“I’m okay,” Jongwoon said on the speakerphone, laughing ruefully. “Seriously, you guys, relax a little. It was sort of hell at the time, but I’m fine. I’ll be fine. We’re okay.”
Han Geng wiped at his eyes with the back of his hand as Jongwoon added, voice growing tender, “And, Hankyung, don’t be so hard on yourself. We all believe in you. You’re a great leader. Jungsu’s jealous of the way you can get your kids to behave.”
He laughed again and Han Geng smiled through his tears as Donghae wrapped an arm around him and rested his head on Han Geng’s shoulder.
“It’s all right,” Jongwoon said. “It was worth it.”
(We’re fine.)
“We’re proud of you, hyung,” Siwon said.
“No,” Jongwoon returned, completely sincere, “we’re proud of you.”
--
Started/Finished: 05.11.08
Notes: ...gratuitous angst, I'm so sorry. But I totally believe in cross-border friendship/family bonds. Love knows no boundaries~ Plus, nemesis_cry wanted a semi-happy ending. :)
Edit: Have a Donghae-centric snippet because I couldn't fit this into the actual fic and because, well, I have to show my Hae!bias.
When he hears the news and suffers the aftermath, all Donghae wants to do is call Heechul. He unwraps his arms from around Han Geng so the older man can sit in a corner with Siwon, where they exchange a whispered conversation about how Han Geng needs to stop taking so much responsibility onto himself. Donghae watches Siwon smooth the creases from Han Geng's brow with his fingers and thinks that Han Geng will be okay.
On the bed, Zhou Mi, Henry, Ryeowook, and Kyuhyun are a tangle of arms and silent support. Donghae squeezes Kyuhyun's shoulder and presses a kiss to Ryeowook's head, and then he is out of the room, fishing his cell phone from his pocket.
When everything falls apart, Donghae turns first to Heechul. Even though Hyukjae is his best friend and Jungsu is like a second mother, even though he can tell Donghee almost anything and Youngwoon has always given him good advice, Donghae always comes to Heechul to put everything back together.
The phone rings once, twice, and then Heechul is saying, in that quiet voice he always uses when he knows why Donghae is calling, "Hey."
Somehow, for Donghae, Heechul has always been like home.