(no subject)

[chimici]

everytime you come round im always a little bit shocked to see you.
its not that i hate you. not at all.
it's that i'm pretty sure you hate me.
but hey, at least you know i wasnt lying when i said i needed you...
let's all witness charlotte not getting out of bed till 3 o'clock in the afternoon on a friday.
study leave. fucking hell. here comes the part where i wreck the rest of my life.
when ever you allow your eyes to stray to me my skin prickles.
it feels like you're trying to brand my skin with everything i've ever done wrong.
i promised you so much. in retrospect i guess i should have warned you that i'm bad at keeping promises.
people keep asking me whats going on with me and you.
'are you still having a fight?'
and my only answer is 'sometimes'
i do have a heart. it just doesnt quite beat right.
it's not beating in time to anything except my ambitions and dreams.
i want to get in a fight and get them to give me thier worst.
i'd swing back half heartedly, just so they'd coninue to rain pain down on me.
this feels pathetic compared to what it could be.

it's not like i'm not sorry.