11:41
11:30 strikes and the card is swiped so I can go home... going 80 down I-35 passing cars, with Die Flut echoing in the background. Chris, and Tiffany are the only ones still awake, chasity is sleeping and sonia is at work, and ray and mandy are off fucking somewhere.... 11:41 strikes, and tiffany sits there waiting for me to open the door, chris then looks her in the eye and hands her a house key, a room key, and a mail key... I left over night.... this is how I thought my world would have ended...
well, here I am again. I know it seems like I dont go on here but I do... I just wait til everything builds up and then post everything at once... well I guess now would be a grand time to say everything.
its been a long ass time since Ive been at the duck pond, let alone with just chris. exhaling out the smoke he cried out "whats my point in living?" Ive talked to people when they were suicidal, Ive calmed a lot of them down, but his case... sadly I was just speechless. He would have made a good father, I know, he didnt have to tell me that. When chasity said she didn't love him It took the breathe right out of me. He just lost a kid, a love, a home... I, didn't know what to do... I stood by him though listening to everything he had to say. He then decided to move away... to florida.
at the same time I met ray again around a month before this, he and mandy loved each other... I dont know if he would of stayed for her when she has her kid, but he found out she was cheating on him with her ex, and her punched him, then him and chris got some kind of trespassing thing thank god we cleared that one up, but mandy came back for ray and ray accepted her. I know he deserves better.
at the moment the appartment has 2 pregnant girls, 1 with an std, and an awesome lesbian and a half roommate that stays often thats also pregnant.... I need to get the fuck out of here. finally after smoking an enormous amount of shisha I realized my thing... I need to get the fuck out and fast, I need to pay off my car, so i can quite my job... I fucking despise it. So I told tiffany and she agreed. so she is looking for a roommate. Ray then realized mandy never stopped cheating on him... so he finally broke it off with her.
Chris's aunt decided to move in, its going to hurt chris when he knows... before he left he had a thing for tiffany, and to find out his aunt has the possibility of smashing it might fuck him up. but shes my ticket out so I agreed. we all then tried to get my name off the lease but turns out under new management they said no.... I had to stay on, and water is still in my name... fuck it, it doesnt matter I am getting the fuck out of here.
Ray decided to help me move Im glad hes there, Rachel called him the other day and wanted ciggaretes, and ray bought them for her and in return she found out mandy was cheating on him, some how push comes to shove him and rachel are going out slash fucking, the same rachel that took me cliff diving and random ass adventures... I really dont know what the fuck happened. last night watching them make out and ray was in her pants some how it sent me farther from reality than I was already at... it was just unreal, everytime they touched each other I wished I was in a nightmare and I could wake up at any time... I know hes going to take advantage of her, I pray for him that its not in spite to fuck his ex's best friend... I would fucking stab kill him. but I think that none of this matters, I just want to break all the chains and burn all the bridges and fly... the only thing thats keeping me here at the moment is my 1000 dollars a month payment, once thats gone I think Ill head to the west coast and just meet new people and not have to worry if a great friend of mine is going to fuck another friend of mine for payback.
I do know one thing, that change does happen no matter how much I deny it. maybe it doesnt turn into butterflies but more suicidal wishes none-the-less its change, I am paying off my car, so I can leave texas far behind... florida would seem to be a nice place, away from texas, and away from 11:41
well, here I am again. I know it seems like I dont go on here but I do... I just wait til everything builds up and then post everything at once... well I guess now would be a grand time to say everything.
its been a long ass time since Ive been at the duck pond, let alone with just chris. exhaling out the smoke he cried out "whats my point in living?" Ive talked to people when they were suicidal, Ive calmed a lot of them down, but his case... sadly I was just speechless. He would have made a good father, I know, he didnt have to tell me that. When chasity said she didn't love him It took the breathe right out of me. He just lost a kid, a love, a home... I, didn't know what to do... I stood by him though listening to everything he had to say. He then decided to move away... to florida.
at the same time I met ray again around a month before this, he and mandy loved each other... I dont know if he would of stayed for her when she has her kid, but he found out she was cheating on him with her ex, and her punched him, then him and chris got some kind of trespassing thing thank god we cleared that one up, but mandy came back for ray and ray accepted her. I know he deserves better.
at the moment the appartment has 2 pregnant girls, 1 with an std, and an awesome lesbian and a half roommate that stays often thats also pregnant.... I need to get the fuck out of here. finally after smoking an enormous amount of shisha I realized my thing... I need to get the fuck out and fast, I need to pay off my car, so i can quite my job... I fucking despise it. So I told tiffany and she agreed. so she is looking for a roommate. Ray then realized mandy never stopped cheating on him... so he finally broke it off with her.
Chris's aunt decided to move in, its going to hurt chris when he knows... before he left he had a thing for tiffany, and to find out his aunt has the possibility of smashing it might fuck him up. but shes my ticket out so I agreed. we all then tried to get my name off the lease but turns out under new management they said no.... I had to stay on, and water is still in my name... fuck it, it doesnt matter I am getting the fuck out of here.
Ray decided to help me move Im glad hes there, Rachel called him the other day and wanted ciggaretes, and ray bought them for her and in return she found out mandy was cheating on him, some how push comes to shove him and rachel are going out slash fucking, the same rachel that took me cliff diving and random ass adventures... I really dont know what the fuck happened. last night watching them make out and ray was in her pants some how it sent me farther from reality than I was already at... it was just unreal, everytime they touched each other I wished I was in a nightmare and I could wake up at any time... I know hes going to take advantage of her, I pray for him that its not in spite to fuck his ex's best friend... I would fucking stab kill him. but I think that none of this matters, I just want to break all the chains and burn all the bridges and fly... the only thing thats keeping me here at the moment is my 1000 dollars a month payment, once thats gone I think Ill head to the west coast and just meet new people and not have to worry if a great friend of mine is going to fuck another friend of mine for payback.
I do know one thing, that change does happen no matter how much I deny it. maybe it doesnt turn into butterflies but more suicidal wishes none-the-less its change, I am paying off my car, so I can leave texas far behind... florida would seem to be a nice place, away from texas, and away from 11:41