New fic: Open Secret (GL, Olivia/Natalia)
Title: Open Secret
Pairing: Guiding Light, Olivia/Natalia
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don’t own Guiding Light or any of the characters therein. Which is a shame, really.
Author’s Notes: A follow-up piece to Soon is Now. This will pretty much make sense if you haven’t read that one, but go ahead and give it a try, why dontcha? Thanks a zillion to Xander for the beta, as usual.
Open Secret
Josh is meeting Billy for dinner tonight at Towers; they never get to spend much time together, and HB’s been on Josh’s mind. Worrying about Reva, who’s in his blood as much if not more than any family he has, is taking up a lot of time lately. Josh thinks sometimes if HB could talk to him now, he’d smack him hard on the head and demand that he fight for his woman.
But he tried fighting. It didn’t work out. Sometimes you can’t fight fate.
He sighs, and orders a drink. He’s early for their reservation, and when the bartender serves him, he glances around the room. He spots Olivia, who appears to be in the middle of a meeting with someone about the Beacon. There are brochures littering their small table. Olivia’s face is rather drawn, which makes him a little concerned, and even more curious. Ever since Natalia left Frank at the altar, he’s pondered exactly what’s going on between the women. To nearly all of Springfield’s dismay, they have been very close-lipped about their relationship. The two seem the same as they always were, which is like the best of friends who can also read each others’ minds. Not that he knows many best friends as close as they are. The rumors about them have died down mostly, but he doesn’t buy it.
He believes Olivia is in love. He’s seen the look in her eye before, but even he can tell that it’s different this time. He wonders if Olivia fought for Natalia as hard as he did for Reva, and if that’s the reason why the wedding didn’t happen. He hopes that it works out better for her than it did for him. At least the woman she loves didn’t marry someone else. He knows by heart how hard it is living with that, and he wouldn’t wish it on anyone.
Josh sips his beer and waits for Billy. A few minutes later, he hears a voice whisper in his ear, “Hey, stranger.”
He can’t help it; a chill runs down his spine, and there’s a minor shift in his groin. She could always turn him on just with the sound of her voice. “Hey, stranger.”
“Want company?” she asks.
“Always.” He turns and watches as she seats herself.
“Diet soda, please,” she orders from the waiter. “Oh, wait, cranberry and seltzer.” She smiles sheepishly at Josh. “Trying to cut back on caffeine.”
He tries not to look shocked. Olivia’s never taken very good care of herself, even after the transplant. Especially after it. “Is that right?”
“Yeah.” She looks at her hands, twisting together on the bar, and smiles the sweetest, goofiest grin he’s ever seen on her face.
It takes him a moment to process her expression, because it’s so foreign. He’s been through a lot with Olivia, but this is new. “Oh really now,” Josh chuckles. That look can mean only one thing. He is elated.
She turns to look at him sharply. “What?”
“You know, I was worried about you when I saw you earlier. You look like crap. But I get it. Totally.”
A hand flies to her face. “I look like crap?” She’s flustered. “Well, you look like crap too. You better trim that beard if you ever want to land a girlfriend, mister,” she spits.
He enjoys this. It’s familiar ground. “You never seemed to mind.”
She tries for a moment, but she can’t hide the fact that her lips curve upward. “Touche.” Running a hand through her hair, she asks, “Is it really that bad?”
“No,” Josh assures her. “I just know you, that’s all. Your dark circles are showing. Looks like you haven’t slept in a week.”
To his utter surprise, within seconds, her face turns a bright, cherry red. She grabs the glass off the bar and takes a long gulp. Josh stares as the sight of it: Olivia Spencer, vixen and well-regarded sex kitten, is blushing like a virgin the night before the wedding. He can’t help it; he reaches out and touches Olivia’s scarlet ear. It’s a burning coal under his fingers.
“Oh, stop that,” she says, and bats his hand away. Now she’s even more ill at ease.
Josh laughs. He laughs so loudly that she kicks him in the shin, and the point of her shoe will leave a mark. “Olivia, what is going on?”
“Nothing,” she says. “I don’t know what I’m doing here.” She grabs her purse and starts to slide off the stool.
He stops her with a hand to her arm. “Olivia, I’m not teasing you, I promise,” he pleas. “I would never tease you about being happy for once in your life.”
She glares at him. “Who said anything about happy?”
He reaches out again, and though she flinches, he touches the corner of her eye. Her skin is as velvet soft as he remembers it. “You can’t hide it. It’s all over you. Pouring off like sunshine after a rainy day.”
Olivia blinks at him, very still. Her lips quiver a little, and she takes his hand in hers and holds it to her cheek. It might be a trick of the light, but he thinks there are tears in her eyes. “You know me too well,” she finally admits.
“Come on, sit,” he urges, and for once, she listens to him. “Want a drink? A real one, I mean, and we can talk.”
She shrugs. “Can’t. I’m on the wagon right now, or as much as I’m willing. Wine with dinner, beer at the pool hall. That’s it.”
“Who convinced you to finally follow doctor’s orders?” Josh asks, waiting for it.
Olivia smiles again, and the sweetness is back.
“Lemme guess,” he says. “Natalia.”
The smile grows, and she nods. She’s stunning like this, even with her dark circles and limp hair. She laughs like she can’t keep the joy out of her voice. “It’s crazy, right? Completely nuts. Me, and Natalia.” She whispers the name as though it’s a secret, even though it’s not. Most everyone thought they were together long ago. When Natalia got engaged to Frank, there were more than a few people who were scratching their heads.
“Not crazy. Love’s never crazy.”
Her eyebrow shifts and there’s an element of malice to her expression. “Tell that to Phillip.”
But Josh won’t allow her to change the course of the conversation. “Yeah, yeah, but let’s not go there. Back to Natalia. What’s going on? And why do you look so cheery but exhausted?” The blush returns, not as deep this time, but it’s there. Someone got laid last night, Josh is certain. “Oh,” he says, knowingly. He can’t help but picture it for a second, and immediately has to force his mind elsewhere. It’s not fair to either of them, even though it’s one of the sexier images he’s conceived in some time. “I take it everything’s, uh, running smoothly?”
Olivia’s eyes widen, and she giggles. Josh laughs in return, and then they’re both leaning against each other, snorting. “Oh my god, Josh,” Olivia says, her voice hushed. “Women are amazing. Natalia is amazing. I completely get why men are so into it.” She shivers.
“Really.” This is one conversation he never thought he’d have.
“She’s so soft, and warm,” her eyes roll back a little in her head, and Josh has to take a deep breath. “She smells incredible, even sweaty, and she--” Olivia stops short and swallows her words. “Well, yeah. It’s good.”
Josh is now dying to know where that last sentence was going. “Who else are you going to talk about this to other than me? You’re sleeping with your best friend, and I don’t think you’re palling around with any other ladies in town. So come on. Spill. I’m willing to be Miranda to your Carrie. Or the other one. Who’s always naked.”
“‘Sex and the City.’ You must be spending a lot of late nights watching reruns,” Olivia quips.
“Guilty as charged.” She’s actually right.
“Well,” she begins, and squirms. “She just… I mean, she tastes wonderful. Everything about her. Is that bizarre?”
Josh just shakes his head, and pretends he didn’t just picture Olivia performing cunnilingus on Natalia. “Not at all.”
“When I first thought about it, which was only because I kissed her back in January for a completely ridiculous reason, I couldn’t even get as far as sex. I just saw her in this different way. And then after a few days I couldn’t stop thinking about kissing her again. Because she’s so beautiful, and not only her smile, or her body, you know?” Josh nods encouragingly. “Her soul is beautiful, even if she judges herself too harshly.” She gazes off into the distance. “Who am I kidding? She’s too hard on herself all of the time. Anyway, time went by and I started having the most intense dreams about her.” She glances at him out of the corner of her eye. “Sexual dreams, that is. And all my reticence vanished after that. But by then it was too late. She got engaged. I was dedicated to making her happy, and that meant getting her married off to Frank.”
Josh sips his beer. “You know, Olivia, a few of us wondered where the hell that relationship came from. Frank never seemed a good fit for Natalia, even if superficially it makes sense.”
Olivia’s expression is wan. “It’s kinda my fault. I pushed Frank toward her. I gave him hints about things she liked, and was always urging her in his direction.”
That makes no sense to Josh. “Why on earth would you do that?”
Olivia rolls her eyes. “I was scared, dumbass. I’ve been married five times. To men. I loved sex with men. Natalia, she chipped away at my defenses for a whole year, and then boom, one day I woke up in love with her.” She reaches across the bar and grabs Josh’s beer for a sip. “It wasn’t quite as bad as the day I realized I would die without a new heart, but it was somewhere in the vicinity.”
“Understood.” Josh means it. If he woke up one day enamored of say, Matt Reardon, it would tilt his world on its axis without a doubt.
“Anyway, it was bad for a while. Really bad.” She snorts a little into his beer before taking another gulp. “God, you were there for the engagement party. I thought my heart wouldn’t make it.” She looks deeply into his eyes. “I never felt anything like that before. I loved her so much.” A tear streaks down her cheek before she can wipe it away. “I just prayed that I’d survive it in one piece so I could get Emma away from there and start over.”
Josh grabs the beer from her hand and drains it. “You? Prayed?”
“Well. My version of praying. But I’ve been doing it a lot more since then.”
“Because your prayer was answered.”
“Got it in one,” she says, pointing to the sky as she wrinkles her nose in that kooky way he’d always loved. “So, the wedding day came, and you know what happened there. I loved her, she loved me, but she wasn’t ready to take it much further, so we waited.”
Josh stars blankly at her. Olivia’s not a particularly patient person. “Waited for what?”
She looks around, and leans forward. “The sex.”
“Oh,” he says. The sound of her saying the word “sex” makes his guts twist up inside. He forgives himself for being turned on. It’s been a while, after all.
“I guess you could say we courted. Which is a little silly considering we spent almost every waking moment together, but it worked. Everything meant more. When she made me coffee in the morning, or when I brought her a sundae, or when we held hands on our bench at the farmhouse and watched the stars.”
If Josh didn’t know better, he’d wonder if Olivia had encountered some kind of pod person and had a character transplant. But what he really thinks is that the old, manipulative Olivia was merely a protective façade created by someone so used to being hurt that she never let anyone get close. Natalia somehow got behind it before Olivia could notice. “Sounds romantic,” he offers at the dreamy look in her eye.
“It was. And uh, more than a little frustrating. Which is why I look like crap.”
Aha. This is what Josh assumed, but it’s nice to have confirmation. Better that than a setback in her health. “So last night was the, how should I put it--maiden voyage?” Josh asks not-so-delicately. If this is their own version of ‘Sex and the City,’ he wants details.
“Oh no,” she scoffs. “That was Saturday night.”
Josh frowns. “But it’s Tuesday.”
“Yeah, and I’ve had about three hours' sleep since the maiden voyage, if you get my drift.”
That wakes his body up in a very pleasant way, and he crosses his legs in embarrassment. “You’ve been going at it since then?”
Olivia presses the icy glass to her cheek. “Just about. Women aren’t like men, you know. Not much recovery time is necessary. And Natalia, well, she can go--”
“Okay, I got it,” Josh says firmly. He doesn’t want to hear any more. Ever. So much for the idea that he could play best girlfriend to his ex-wife, who’s always going to be physically attractive to him no matter how hard he tries to ignore it.
She glances down at his trousers, and knows in an instant what’s up. Literally. “Ha, yeah. Sorry. I mean, I’m not sorry, really. It’s nice to know I’ve still got it, even as a lesbian.”
He licks his lips. “I don’t think you have anything to worry about there. Especially now that both men and women will be drooling for you.”
“Too bad I’m not available. And won’t be for the foreseeable future.” She finishes her drink and checks her watch. “Natalia was supposed to meet me--”
“Here I am,” comes a voice from behind them. It’s Natalia. “I saw you two talking and didn’t want to interrupt till it was time to go.”
“Hi,” Olivia says, and she seems almost shy. “How was your day?” Even her voice changes, to something soft and affectionate. The woman is whipped, and Josh marvels at the sight.
“Good. Lonely. Ready to go home?” Natalia leans against Olivia’s arm as though she craves the contact. It’s charming. Josh is momentarily jealous, but he shakes it off. They’ve both been through hell. They deserve their happiness together.
“Yeah. Where’s Em?”
“She’s at the house, with Jane. Who I asked to stay till six tonight.”
“Six?” Olivia asks. “But it’s barely five now-oh.”
“Yeah, there’s that project I needed help with,” Natalia suggests, with a loaded look. “I’ve got the paperwork in the car.”
“Right,” Olivia nods, and the blush creeps back up her neck. Josh is curious to know how mortified Natalia would be if she had heard a single minute of their conversation. Probably enough to make her stop looking Josh in the eye for about a year. “So, we should go then. Thanks for the drink, Josh. It was good to catch up.” She gives him a kiss and pats his cheek with affection.
“Same here.” He points to Olivia’s empty glass. “That was cranberry and seltzer, for the record,” he clarifies to Natalia, who smiles and nods approvingly.
“Good to know. Night, Josh.” Natalia kisses his cheek too. “Maybe we can play pool this weekend, if you’re free.”
“I’ll make sure of it.” He toasts them with a second beer the bartender has set in front of him. “Have a wonderful evening.”
“You too,” Olivia says with a wave.
He tries to resist the impulse as they move away, but can’t. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”
Natalia glances back at him sharply, and elbows Olivia with force. A flurry of whispers erupts between them, and Josh has to hold in laughter when Olivia turns around and makes a cutthroat motion in his direction. “I’m taking all your money at pool on Saturday, mister. You’re dead to me,” she calls out.
He sips his beer as they depart, and Billy passes them, still arguing, as he strolls in. “Hey brother,” Billy says, thumping him on the back. “Just saw ‘Livia and Natalia on their way out.”
“Yeah, I saw them too.”
Billy shakes his head. “Can’t believe they haven’t killed each other yet. How anybody could put up with that harpy I’ll never know. She must be paying Nat real good.” He glances at Josh. “You’re lucky you got out alive, I always say.”
Josh just nods. Some things shouldn’t be shared, not even between brothers.
~end