(no subject)
Meme from o_lucky_man:
Are you interested in magic tricks?
I love conjuring! It's a very pleasing thing to witness.
Are you superstitious about anything?
I want to say "no", but in fact there is something I'm a bit superstitious about. I don't like dead things in the house (unless I'm going to eat them). Dried flowers, depictions of dead stuff, that sort of thing. I don't like bringing things into the house that relate to death or illness - so news articles about things like cancer and people being hurt, stuff like that. It's not precisely a superstition (in that I can't claim I believe that if those things are around me, somehow bad things will magically ensue), but since I have few physical resources available to me, I also have few emotional resources and find things like that subtly unsettling. It is better to surround myself with things which are uplifting or cheerful - which have a beneficial or supportive effect on my mood. Death and illness drag my spirits down and I avoid them.
What was the last thing you borrowed from a friend?
A book. I even read it! It had nice large print.
How many cavities do you have?
If I knew I had cavities, wouldn't I get them filled?
What did you do for fun before you started spending so much time on the internet?
Writing, reading.
When was the last time you ate an egg?
A couple of days ago I had some.
Do you drink tap water?
Yes. Tapwater in London is nice. A bit hard, mind you.
Do you have high cheekbones?
No, I don't think there's anything particularly fancy about my face.
Which family member is the best cook?
Hm. My sister is a genius at cakes. But I think I like food cooked by either of my parents best.
Do you like baked potatoes?
Oh yes.
Did your parents ever talk to you about not smoking or doing drugs? If they did, did you listen to them?
Both my parents smoked. I don't recall anyone giving me a talk about drugs, though I think my Mum acknowledged that they exist and that some people use them, but there wasn't a sense of judgement about that. I suspect neither parent warned me off them particularly because HELLO, I was conceived in the 60s. And probably also because my lack of interest in the subject was obvious. I tried weed. It gave me tunnel vision and made my tongue feel funny. I wanted to go home.
Have you ever swam outdoors while it was raining? What about during a thunderstorm?
Yes. Yes.
What's one place you would never want to live?
I like living in London.
Do you know anyone who just gives you the creeps?
Yes. But I take great pains to avoid people who make me feel uncomfortable.
Have you ever called anyone a fruit?
Phwut? Do you mean in the Leslie Phillips sense of "old fruit" (which is brilliant), or in the sense of "you are one of those gays"? We don't really use "fruit" in that context here.
How cold does it have to get before you wear a jacket?
Er ... cold enough to require a jacket. I mean, I think it's pretty daft to walk about in a t-shirt on a cold day. Button up!
When was the last time you had a headache?
Oh, pretty recently. I never used to get them, but I get them often these days.
Have you ever been to a petting zoo?
No. I feel sorry for the animals.
How many locks are on your front door?
Two.
Have you ever come up with your own recipe?
Yes, hundreds.
Do you need complete darkness/silence to fall asleep, or can you fall asleep to anything?
No. I sleep best when there are people talking nearby, but not involving me. It's why I liked Big Brother (I don't watch it any more), because you could put on the late night live footage and I would doze off feeling really comforted. I sleep well in moving cars. I like a sense that things are going on around me, but that I don't need to participate.
How old is your mattress?
A few years.
How did your parents meet?
I think my Dad spotted my Mum at a bus stop.
Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances?
Sure. I very much doubt I would - but that question would apply to a different person, with a different life.
What do you think of people who get abortions?
I think they're making a choice that is theirs to make. I am glad that choice is safely available.
What was the last bug you killed?
I killed a very tiny spider about a week ago. It scuttled out at me and I'm afraid my reflexes won. It was like that Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil. Only with a shoe instead of guns.
Do you ever argue or debate with people about your beliefs?
Sometimes. I mean: I had a lively debate with someone over the worth of the Charlie Brooker/Black Mirror thing last week, but I can't pretend I felt passionate about it.
When was the last time you felt turned on?
I can't answer that. I think that bit of my life died years ago.
When was the last time you felt disgusted with someone/something?
I'm in a state of perma-disgust with our government.
Do you typically finish all the food you put on your plate?
Pretty much. Not always.
Do you continue eating even when you are full?
Sometimes. Not often.
What is one weird eating habit that you have
I like to sprinkle a little salt on good milk chocolate.
If you eat meat, what do you tend to think of vegetarians/vegans?
I think they're right-er than I am.
If you paint your nails, what color do you generally choose?
I don't ever paint my fingernails. I use my hands so much that nailvarnish lasts about half an hour on me before it chips. I paint my toenails in the summer, and they're usually fuchsia/cerise or red, or gold.
What do you do to entertain yourself on long car rides?
I don't need to be entertained on long car rides. I love being driven around, particularly when I am in the back seat and whoever is driving just shuts up and drives, because my mind wanders in fantastic directions. Unfortunately I only get to go in a car once or twice a year, and never under those circumstances. If I were fabulously wealthy I would employ a driver to drive me around London at night, and my only specifications would be that they drive in a way that makes me feel safe, and never make conversation.
When was the last time you felt insecure? What happened?
Probably just walking about - and I mean literally insecure as in "Oh shit, I'm going to fall again, aren't I?" And I probably did. The upside to this is that all other forms of insecurity pale into insignificance.
Having said that, I do have an insecurity meltdown if a bloke likes me. It just does my head in, I start having nightmares and everything. I don't trust anyone to be kind to me, or to treat me tenderly or to look at me with affection, and that makes me utterly insecure with intimacy.
What do you think of people that like the Twilight series?
I think they like something I find painfully dull. I find it curious that people think Twilight is in any way interesting.
On a scale of 1-10 how Athletic are you?
Do you do minus figures? I consider getting into the shower an athletic achievement.
Can you name 3 different species of bears?
Grizzly, Kodiak, Polar, Spectacled, Panda, Koala, Sloth, Brown, Black... KNOW YOUR ENEMY.
*brandishes a defensive shoe*
When was the last time you were on a Carousel?
I have never been on a carousel.
What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant?
I've played with a baby elephant. Oh, it was a charming beast, running about and trumpeting, all excited, with its ears flapping. It was the child of a working elephant. At lunchtimes its owner would bring mama along the beach for a walk in the edge of the sea, and the baby came with her, and would gambol into the area around our pool in search of people's sandwiches and a bit of a caper about with anyone who was prepared to play tag.
What subject do you think is unacceptable to ever get an F in?
I think we all need to have different strengths. Not all of them are quantifiable on an exam paper.
When was the last time you flew a kite?
When I was a very small child. I wasn't any good at running and so couldn't get it in the air. I got shouted at about it. Kites still make me feel a bit nervous and glum.
Do you have a library card?
No.
Name somebody who you think deserves more respect:
Don't we all? But right now I'm going to go with Osita Mba, the tax dude who blew the whistle on Goldman Sachs being let off paying their tax.
In your own words, define what the word sexy means.
I don't know. *racks brains* I don't know.
Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is?
Yes, of course I do. I'm not entirely stupid.
What is something that can always make you smile?
Using my imagination. A good sunset. Cats. Seeing friends. A well tilled bed in the garden. The birds. You know, stuff.
If you had the opportunity to open a store, what would you want to sell?
It's really not my thing. If I had to, I think the combination of florist / tea shop is perfect.
When you are out in public with friends and you are around children, do you try not to cuss, or do you not care/realize it?
I swear like a sailor. In fact I love swear words. But I restrain myself around the young, the old, and the stuffy.
If you had to go into witness protection, and they let you pick out your new name. what name would you pick? (first, middle and last).
What, and leave my family and friends for ever? Don't see the point in that sort of life, sorry. Might as well just let them get me.
Name one thing you used to do that you are not proud of.
I did half squash an ant once, to see what happened. I'm horribly ashamed.
What personal item has a significant amount of sentimental value to you?
Oh, loads! I'm basically the family curator and have lots of inherited things which are very precious to me. But I suppose my favourite actual object is probably just an ordinary button.
What's the biggest, most difficult position you've been put in? How did/are you handling it?
Being in love with someone who required me to lie about it. I did what they wanted, up until I couldn't any more.
If you could become any fictional character, who would you be?
Dr Who.
Do you ever worry about looking back on your life when you're older and regretting not doing certain things?
No. I have done the things I wanted to do. I think things would have panned out this way whatever I did, or didn't.
What was your first impression of the person you like/love?
I love lots of people, but not like that.
Is there a sport you just don't understand how to play at all?
I don't care about most sports.
What's something illegal that you think should be legal
Drugs. I think if everyone had access to affordable, clean drugs, the people who take drugs now would still take drugs, but they'd be safer and we would be raising tax revenue through it. And the people who don't take drugs now, would just carry on not taking drugs. Pure drugs aren't actually all that bad for you - the problem comes when people start cooking up all sorts of inappropriate shit because they can't get hold of the clean stuff, and you end up with muck like Krokodil killing people within a year of their first use. Dreadful, dreadful thing to sentence people to, just for the sake of occupying what is actually an immoral high ground. And I say that as a person who doesn't take any drugs, and never will. Humans have a long history of taking things which alter their consciousness. I don't think treating this as something which is abnormal is doing anyone any good. I am very unhappy in principle with a law telling me what I can and cannot do with my own body.
At the moment, what are your main priorities in life?
Getting the washing up done and the living room straight after WRAPPINGMAGEDDON.
Can you fake an accent? if so, which ones?
Lots! It's probably dead racist of me. Oh dear, is it? Oh dear.
What's a life lesson you learned the hard way?
I'm nothing like as strong as people usually are. And if you break me, I stay broken. I'm not really cut out for this.
Are you interested in magic tricks?
I love conjuring! It's a very pleasing thing to witness.
Are you superstitious about anything?
I want to say "no", but in fact there is something I'm a bit superstitious about. I don't like dead things in the house (unless I'm going to eat them). Dried flowers, depictions of dead stuff, that sort of thing. I don't like bringing things into the house that relate to death or illness - so news articles about things like cancer and people being hurt, stuff like that. It's not precisely a superstition (in that I can't claim I believe that if those things are around me, somehow bad things will magically ensue), but since I have few physical resources available to me, I also have few emotional resources and find things like that subtly unsettling. It is better to surround myself with things which are uplifting or cheerful - which have a beneficial or supportive effect on my mood. Death and illness drag my spirits down and I avoid them.
What was the last thing you borrowed from a friend?
A book. I even read it! It had nice large print.
How many cavities do you have?
If I knew I had cavities, wouldn't I get them filled?
What did you do for fun before you started spending so much time on the internet?
Writing, reading.
When was the last time you ate an egg?
A couple of days ago I had some.
Do you drink tap water?
Yes. Tapwater in London is nice. A bit hard, mind you.
Do you have high cheekbones?
No, I don't think there's anything particularly fancy about my face.
Which family member is the best cook?
Hm. My sister is a genius at cakes. But I think I like food cooked by either of my parents best.
Do you like baked potatoes?
Oh yes.
Did your parents ever talk to you about not smoking or doing drugs? If they did, did you listen to them?
Both my parents smoked. I don't recall anyone giving me a talk about drugs, though I think my Mum acknowledged that they exist and that some people use them, but there wasn't a sense of judgement about that. I suspect neither parent warned me off them particularly because HELLO, I was conceived in the 60s. And probably also because my lack of interest in the subject was obvious. I tried weed. It gave me tunnel vision and made my tongue feel funny. I wanted to go home.
Have you ever swam outdoors while it was raining? What about during a thunderstorm?
Yes. Yes.
What's one place you would never want to live?
I like living in London.
Do you know anyone who just gives you the creeps?
Yes. But I take great pains to avoid people who make me feel uncomfortable.
Have you ever called anyone a fruit?
Phwut? Do you mean in the Leslie Phillips sense of "old fruit" (which is brilliant), or in the sense of "you are one of those gays"? We don't really use "fruit" in that context here.
How cold does it have to get before you wear a jacket?
Er ... cold enough to require a jacket. I mean, I think it's pretty daft to walk about in a t-shirt on a cold day. Button up!
When was the last time you had a headache?
Oh, pretty recently. I never used to get them, but I get them often these days.
Have you ever been to a petting zoo?
No. I feel sorry for the animals.
How many locks are on your front door?
Two.
Have you ever come up with your own recipe?
Yes, hundreds.
Do you need complete darkness/silence to fall asleep, or can you fall asleep to anything?
No. I sleep best when there are people talking nearby, but not involving me. It's why I liked Big Brother (I don't watch it any more), because you could put on the late night live footage and I would doze off feeling really comforted. I sleep well in moving cars. I like a sense that things are going on around me, but that I don't need to participate.
How old is your mattress?
A few years.
How did your parents meet?
I think my Dad spotted my Mum at a bus stop.
Would you ever consider getting an abortion, under any circumstances?
Sure. I very much doubt I would - but that question would apply to a different person, with a different life.
What do you think of people who get abortions?
I think they're making a choice that is theirs to make. I am glad that choice is safely available.
What was the last bug you killed?
I killed a very tiny spider about a week ago. It scuttled out at me and I'm afraid my reflexes won. It was like that Milla Jovovich in Resident Evil. Only with a shoe instead of guns.
Do you ever argue or debate with people about your beliefs?
Sometimes. I mean: I had a lively debate with someone over the worth of the Charlie Brooker/Black Mirror thing last week, but I can't pretend I felt passionate about it.
When was the last time you felt turned on?
I can't answer that. I think that bit of my life died years ago.
When was the last time you felt disgusted with someone/something?
I'm in a state of perma-disgust with our government.
Do you typically finish all the food you put on your plate?
Pretty much. Not always.
Do you continue eating even when you are full?
Sometimes. Not often.
What is one weird eating habit that you have
I like to sprinkle a little salt on good milk chocolate.
If you eat meat, what do you tend to think of vegetarians/vegans?
I think they're right-er than I am.
If you paint your nails, what color do you generally choose?
I don't ever paint my fingernails. I use my hands so much that nailvarnish lasts about half an hour on me before it chips. I paint my toenails in the summer, and they're usually fuchsia/cerise or red, or gold.
What do you do to entertain yourself on long car rides?
I don't need to be entertained on long car rides. I love being driven around, particularly when I am in the back seat and whoever is driving just shuts up and drives, because my mind wanders in fantastic directions. Unfortunately I only get to go in a car once or twice a year, and never under those circumstances. If I were fabulously wealthy I would employ a driver to drive me around London at night, and my only specifications would be that they drive in a way that makes me feel safe, and never make conversation.
When was the last time you felt insecure? What happened?
Probably just walking about - and I mean literally insecure as in "Oh shit, I'm going to fall again, aren't I?" And I probably did. The upside to this is that all other forms of insecurity pale into insignificance.
Having said that, I do have an insecurity meltdown if a bloke likes me. It just does my head in, I start having nightmares and everything. I don't trust anyone to be kind to me, or to treat me tenderly or to look at me with affection, and that makes me utterly insecure with intimacy.
What do you think of people that like the Twilight series?
I think they like something I find painfully dull. I find it curious that people think Twilight is in any way interesting.
On a scale of 1-10 how Athletic are you?
Do you do minus figures? I consider getting into the shower an athletic achievement.
Can you name 3 different species of bears?
Grizzly, Kodiak, Polar, Spectacled, Panda, Koala, Sloth, Brown, Black... KNOW YOUR ENEMY.
*brandishes a defensive shoe*
When was the last time you were on a Carousel?
I have never been on a carousel.
What is the closest you have ever been to an elephant?
I've played with a baby elephant. Oh, it was a charming beast, running about and trumpeting, all excited, with its ears flapping. It was the child of a working elephant. At lunchtimes its owner would bring mama along the beach for a walk in the edge of the sea, and the baby came with her, and would gambol into the area around our pool in search of people's sandwiches and a bit of a caper about with anyone who was prepared to play tag.
What subject do you think is unacceptable to ever get an F in?
I think we all need to have different strengths. Not all of them are quantifiable on an exam paper.
When was the last time you flew a kite?
When I was a very small child. I wasn't any good at running and so couldn't get it in the air. I got shouted at about it. Kites still make me feel a bit nervous and glum.
Do you have a library card?
No.
Name somebody who you think deserves more respect:
Don't we all? But right now I'm going to go with Osita Mba, the tax dude who blew the whistle on Goldman Sachs being let off paying their tax.
In your own words, define what the word sexy means.
I don't know. *racks brains* I don't know.
Without looking - do you know what brand your underwear is?
Yes, of course I do. I'm not entirely stupid.
What is something that can always make you smile?
Using my imagination. A good sunset. Cats. Seeing friends. A well tilled bed in the garden. The birds. You know, stuff.
If you had the opportunity to open a store, what would you want to sell?
It's really not my thing. If I had to, I think the combination of florist / tea shop is perfect.
When you are out in public with friends and you are around children, do you try not to cuss, or do you not care/realize it?
I swear like a sailor. In fact I love swear words. But I restrain myself around the young, the old, and the stuffy.
If you had to go into witness protection, and they let you pick out your new name. what name would you pick? (first, middle and last).
What, and leave my family and friends for ever? Don't see the point in that sort of life, sorry. Might as well just let them get me.
Name one thing you used to do that you are not proud of.
I did half squash an ant once, to see what happened. I'm horribly ashamed.
What personal item has a significant amount of sentimental value to you?
Oh, loads! I'm basically the family curator and have lots of inherited things which are very precious to me. But I suppose my favourite actual object is probably just an ordinary button.
What's the biggest, most difficult position you've been put in? How did/are you handling it?
Being in love with someone who required me to lie about it. I did what they wanted, up until I couldn't any more.
If you could become any fictional character, who would you be?
Dr Who.
Do you ever worry about looking back on your life when you're older and regretting not doing certain things?
No. I have done the things I wanted to do. I think things would have panned out this way whatever I did, or didn't.
What was your first impression of the person you like/love?
I love lots of people, but not like that.
Is there a sport you just don't understand how to play at all?
I don't care about most sports.
What's something illegal that you think should be legal
Drugs. I think if everyone had access to affordable, clean drugs, the people who take drugs now would still take drugs, but they'd be safer and we would be raising tax revenue through it. And the people who don't take drugs now, would just carry on not taking drugs. Pure drugs aren't actually all that bad for you - the problem comes when people start cooking up all sorts of inappropriate shit because they can't get hold of the clean stuff, and you end up with muck like Krokodil killing people within a year of their first use. Dreadful, dreadful thing to sentence people to, just for the sake of occupying what is actually an immoral high ground. And I say that as a person who doesn't take any drugs, and never will. Humans have a long history of taking things which alter their consciousness. I don't think treating this as something which is abnormal is doing anyone any good. I am very unhappy in principle with a law telling me what I can and cannot do with my own body.
At the moment, what are your main priorities in life?
Getting the washing up done and the living room straight after WRAPPINGMAGEDDON.
Can you fake an accent? if so, which ones?
Lots! It's probably dead racist of me. Oh dear, is it? Oh dear.
What's a life lesson you learned the hard way?
I'm nothing like as strong as people usually are. And if you break me, I stay broken. I'm not really cut out for this.