Fast forward and it's now 2018!

[chiliwings]

Woah! Where did time go? In just a few months, I will be turning 40. How do I feel about it? Well, I am actually looking forward to it, to be honest. To some degree, I am still the old me. I still enjoy the same stuff - movies, anime, anything Disney. I am a kid at heart, you might say. But despite that, I believe I've made some changes too. For the better. At least I think so. I have grown to love the person that I am. Fat rolls and all. I am doing cross fit now. No kidding, I actually am! And surprisingly, I enjoy it. Although I am heavier now than I ever was, I am much stronger. Physically and emotionally. I can hold 2 minute planks, with 6 minutes as my longest record. Oh, and I lift heavier weights now. Several years ago, I could only lift 5lbs. Now I normally lift 15 to 20 lb dumbbells. That is quite a feat for me. I know I have a long way ahead of me. But I am proud of what I have achieved. Thinking about it, I credit the kids - my nephews, for making me realize that I need to take care of my health. I want to live a long life so I can see them grow up. I may never have kids of my own, and I have come to terms with that. Well, slowly. It's a work in progress. But for the most part, if having kids is not in my future, I am determined not to let that define me. I have my nephews, and I am blessed and thankful for my sister and BIL for allowing me to be a part of their lives. I love them to pieces.

I look back at my old journal entries and I find it a little amusing how I made such a big deal of stuff that don't really matter anymore. I can't believe how I have let certain things affect me. One thing I learned though is that, no matter how difficult a situation is at the moment, it will always pass. And I will be ok.

Now that I am finally hitting the big 4-0, one of my goals is to pick up journaling again. I would like to be able to document my life so that one day I can look back at how marvelous my life was.