The end is in sight...

[chilistrider]

If I put on my strongest glasses and squint real hard, I think I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel. 

• Today's biggest source of soothingness (is that even a word?) was listening over & over & over to the CD for relaxation that I made myself a couple of years ago. 
  
• The best source of a smile today was watching Seven go crazy when I picked up all three of her tennis balls off the living room floor & proceeded to juggle with them.  Each time one ball went up, she'd sort of jerk in the same direction, like, Maybe I get to have this one!!  Of course, eventually she got them all, 'cause I'm not a very good juggler---at least not for extended periods of time.
• The biggest sense of This Is All Worth It was when I got an e-mail from one of my young ladies who just graduated last month.  She said one of my colleagues "told [her that I] won't work in [the same school again] and that [I] moved to another campus." Her letter ended, "I wish you good luck because you are an excellent teacher and you deserve to have good students.  I hope you will write me and we will stay in touch bye, bye."  I may try to go visit her soon.  She is an awesome young lady, and it's for people like her that I'm doing this *&^#$% online class anyway.  I may deserve good students, but they deserve the best education they can get out of me.  Hence all this goddamn torture I suppose. 
  
• The best sense of calm was right about 9 o'clock when it was getting dark.  Matt had been in the backyard playing with Seven, but he came in to tell me that the whole family of neighborhood foxes was in the field between our house and the church.  By the time I got back there, only one was still hanging out, but for some reason I always feel a sense of luck or calm or charm whenever I see one of the neighborhood foxes.  The most I've ever seen together was one of the parents with the young 'un; wish I could've seen all three.  Oh well, another time.

Anyway, the crushing sensation in my chest isn't as bad today as it was yesterday, so I'm pretty sure I will survive all this after all.  With an ounce or two of luck and supplemental attention span, I may even get this portfolio turned in before I go to sleep tomorrow.  *presses thumbs as the Germans do*

AND THIS JUST IN:  I am going to L.A. to see my very best, bestest friend in the whole world in early August.  YAY!!!!  I am so happy just thinking about this.  She says I can go to the beach every day.  Last time I went out there we had nice wine and yummy food and cold sake and pleasing sunsets and we watched "Team America" and "Wedding Crashers" and walked and drove near a lot of people with freaky amounts of wealth.  A most entertaining time indeed.  God, I am so happy.  I loooooooooooove my friend so, so much an now we get to hang out for the first time in about a year.  YAY!!!!!!!