bits and pieces

[childisgone]

this sucks asshole.

~

child kneecaps begging to be skinned
to feel the pain of innocence poignantly
as though fingers never wandered from their mittens

using a stool to see over the tops of counters
obstacles in a game where you’d smile and
dress up in mommy clothes just to feel older

when ten years down the road you’d be wishing
for the simplicity babycheeks would provide

emaciation through suffocation
of braiding blonde and brunette
and fingerprints into soil

blowing out the candle to see the wax hit the wall;
drying into a configuration so much more
beautiful than the cracked palms and wrists
and beautiful twists of broken flesh
dragging race tracks across linoleum

watching a village burn to dust
with apathy in your pupils

a woman screaming, rib bones
craning straining against skin -
breathe in, brown wrapping paper
perfectly folded; breathe out,
stretching to the moon with
a dying baby in her arms

crying like the messiah will come
soon enough to save the innocence
you lost along the dirt road

but a glance back, a stumble,
a fall, crushing such a perfect
skeleton, splintering, fractional

a pile of death among the ferns
mortality waving hello from across the water
reflecting the last sunrise you have while
rooted to this the soil that you couldn’t help
but take for granted

waking up to insomnia
suffering the most
delusion . confusion
differentiating between nic-at-nite american
dream tv and beautiful girls cooing
"come and chat with me"

an elementary school game of
telephone; "hell, darlin', you'll go to heaven
with good little girls and better little boys
because everyone knows sexism isn't dead...
so down on your knees
and do it like you mean it"

fooling myself into believing
freeing myself into exile
hating myself into you
dying without a dream to save me