Bittersweet Love (4/?)
Title: Bittersweet Love (4/?)
Author:
chii_mao_13
Pairing: Yamachii, Yamashi
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Loving someone isn't an easy problem. Forgetting someone important is almost impossible. But turning down someone he love is the way more difficult.
Note: Another chapter from this slowpoke for everyone who want to read this. Rei-chan, this is the update, finally. XDDD Hohohohoho. But I changed my mind and decided to change the plot and rewrite this chapter, therefore it won't be the last chapter. Hohohoho *run away*
Chapter 4
Obsessing is not good. Especially when I’m obsessing with someone that’s impossible to be mine. After all, it started with a lie. What is not so good about lying is the end will bring some bitter experiences to the liar.
I don’t know what bring me more agony. Whether it’s seeing your figure from afar and reminding myself that you’re out of my reach, or being able to stay by your side but have to chew the fact that the more I get closer to you the more I love you meanwhile you love someone else and will never turn your head to me.
Another week had passed without Yamada. It wasn’t that Chinen didn’t meet him occasionally, in contrary to it, he met him at many places. In the cafeteria, in the toilet, in the school gate, in the classroom, and even when they were outside the school. It was just that he chose to stay quiet, ignoring Yamada like he was a stranger. Chinen knew, Yamada again and again took a glance at him everytime they were in the same place. But Chinen has decided that he would try to live his life properly, just like when he hadn’t meet Yamada before.
Last week he scratched himself by falling over and over in the club practice, and ended up sleeping in the infirmary without taking care of his scratches. But after he woke up, he found himself with some bandage aids covered his scratches. But when he asked to everyone on the club, no one admitted that they did it. And the weirdest, he felt warmness spread from his temple to his face. A member said that he saw Yamada came to pick Shida but then he missed somewhere. Could it be that the one who taking care of him was Yamada?
Chinen realized that he had been imagined it excessively. Maybe he still possessed some obsessions to have Yamada for himself. Before it was too late, Chinen convinced himself that he had to face the reality.
“Chinen, are you okay?”
Chinen opened his eyes and realized that he’d held his head for some silence times. He felt pain assaulted his head and he tried to ease the pain by massaging his temple.
“I’m okay.” He lied. He couldn’t cause any trouble to anyone today, because today was the sport festival and everyone was working hard for it. At least, he still had to cheer his team although he’d won the racing competition. It was good that the pain didn’t come when he was running. But now it hurt more and more.
“If you’re exhausted, you can take a rest.” His friend suggested with a worry tone.
“I’m okay.” Chinen lied again.
He rose up again and started to yell, cheering his team on the ongoing competition. He started to feel dizzy again, but he forced his own body to move so that no one would be suspicious again. But when suddenly he wanted to throw up, he excused himself to the toilet, pretending that he must go. His health condition was not in a good state since last week. He forced himself practicing tennis alone in the court after school although the coach had said that he needed some rests.
“Toilet…” Chinen mumbled to himself as his vision started to become blurry. He covered his mouth so that he wouldn’t vomit before reaching the toilet. But as he passed the water fountain, he spotted Yamada and Shida’s figures, talking about something. And unfortunately, Shida spotted him.
“Ah, Chinen!” She waved. Chinen forced himself to smile and waved back. “What are you doing here?” Shida approached Chinen, and tailed by Yamada.
“No-nothing.” He was hardly able to speak. Maybe if he talked too much, he’d vomit there.
“You looked so pale. Are you tired?” Shida asked again, but Chinen just shook his head. “Your race earlier was so great. Next is my turn and I hope I’ll do as well as you.” She smiled.
Now Chinen started to reach his own limit. “Ga-ganbatte.” His voice was still audible, but it looked like a whisper instead.
“Eh? What’s wrong with you?” Shida started to be panic as Chinen slowly closed his eyes. The nausea was slowly disappearing, replaced by a heavy exhaustion and pain on his head.
“Chinen!”
The last voice he heard was Yamada’s panic voice that calling his name. And all he saw was blackness.
***
Chinen tried to blink, but he felt like glue had been stuck on his eyes so he couldn’t open it. Feeling afraid, he tried to swing his hand in the air to reach whatever was near him. But instead of touching something, he felt something gripped his hand tight. It was warm and soft. A feeling of relief came to Chinen, knowing that he wasn’t alone although he couldn’t open his eyes. More, he felt the same warmness now was moving on his cheek.
But suddenly that warmness disappeared, and he felt emptiness on his hands. He tried to reach it once again, but it was futile. There was nothing on his reach. Chinen stayed in silence, regaining his energy for a while. Now he felt it was enough to open his eyes, so he did it. As his eyes opened, Chinen could see a familiar figure was looking at him.
“Is it… Shida?”
“Ah, welcome back, Chinen.” She smiled in relief. Chinen blinked his eyes again for several times because he still couldn’t see anything clearly. “I know you must be curious, so I’ll tell you, it’s already night and you’re in the hospital.”
“Eh? Why?”
“The doctor said that you have a high fever and lack of nutrition due to overwork and heavy exhaustion that you fell unconscious and continued to sleep. So, you must stay here at least for some nights so that they can take care of you.” Shida explained. “By the way, your sister told me that your parents are on a business trip so she didn’t tell them. She was here too, but thirty minutes ago she went home to get your clothes.”
“Thank you.” Chinen said weakly. It looks like he hadn’t regained his real energy yet. He felt so weak.
“And Ryosuke went to call the doctor when you were about to open your eyes. So wait for a while, okay?”
Chinen’s smile disappeared. Why Yamada must be here too. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel happy knowing Yamada was taking care of him too, but he was with Shida. He was exhausted and he didn’t want to think about that problem at least for now. He had his head full already and he didn’t want to add more burdens to it.
The door opened, letting a doctor and a nurse to come into the room. Behind them, there was another boy Chinen didn’t really want to see now.
The nurse immediately checked the blood temperature and the doctor checked and asked some things to Chinen about what he felt right now. Yamada and Shida could just waiting behind them, standing next to each other with silence conquering them.
Finished the checking, the doctor said that he’d have the nurse to get the medicine for him, and then left the room. Shida came toward Chinen and smiled to him.
“Happy you’re awake now. You have to stay healthy. Taking care of your own body was one of the requirements to be a pro athlete.” She warned him, and replied by a weak ‘thank you’ from Chinen. “Okay, I have to go now. Take care, okay.”
“Eh? You’ll go?” Chinen asked and couldn’t help but feeling a little bit relief. At least, Yamada would also go out of the room with her. “Thank you so much, Shida.”
Shida smiled. “I’m sorry I can’t accompany you until your sister comes back. I have some works to do in my house.” Chinen nodded and smiled back to her. But then she leaned in to whisper something to Chinen. “And take care of him too. He never left your side when you were unconscious.”
Without waiting for Chinen’s reaction, Shida swiftly turned her body and left the room, leaving a dumbfounded Chinen. But what made him felt more confused, Yamada just waved his hand to Shida and didn’t follow her went out of the room. Instead, he walked his way toward Chinen’s bed.
“You… didn’t go home with her?” Chinen asked cautiously while still staring at the door.
“No.” Yamada answered simply.
“You let her going home alone?” This was what would be happened once Chinen regained his consciousness completely back.
“Don’t worry. Her dad is a doctor here, so she’ll come home with her dad.” Yamada answered. “Furthermore, who’ll be here with you until your sister comes?”
“I’m okay.” Chinen answered quickly. He turned his head from Yamada. “You don’t have to trouble yourself like that.” Chinen felt guilty after acted a little bit harsh to Yamada. But he couldn’t get Yamada into his trouble this much. He knew Shida was true that Yamada hadn’t left him yet because he still wore his uniform. Maybe he just had the chance to change his sport uniform into the usual uniform. “Thank you for accompanying me. My sister should be here soon, so you don’t have to stay here any longer…”
Chinen stopped talking. His heart beat faster and faster until he thought he was going to burst. Yamada now was holding his hand with both of his own hands. It was the same warmness he felt on his dream when he was still unconscious.
“Do you know how worry I was when seeing you laying without any single movement?”
Yamada’s soft voice made a contrary effect, jolt to Chinen’s whole body. Chinen knew that he was so lucky for not facing Yamada right now or else he could see his red face.
“That’s why I won’t leave your side again.”
Chinen’s decision was quickly faded away by this sentence. He turned his head, puzzle scattered on his mind.
“You can’t say that meanwhile you have a girlfriend, or else she’d leave you.”
To state this wasn’t an easy problem. It was the same as Chinen declared that he supported Yamada and Shida to always be together.
“We’ve broken up.” Yamada said, made Chinen’s eyes widened. “She’s the one I only deserved to look from afar. We don’t belong together. I’ve hurt her so much. She always knew that all this time the more we were together the less comfort I felt. And finally, this morning before you passed the water fountain, she said that last week she watched it when I kissed you in the infirmary.”
So the kiss wasn’t just his silly imagination. It was Yamada who spread that warmness through his body. Feeling happy? Of course. He still loved Yamada and there was no way he wouldn’t be happy after being kissed by Yamada. But in this sort of time?
“Chinen listen.” Chinen felt Yamada tightened the grips. “I realized that I need someone else by my side, someone that’s not out of my reach. Someone who gives his whole heart for supporting me although he’ll unconsciously hurt himself.” Yamada admitted and gently reached Chinen’s cheek. Staring deeply on his eyes, Yamada showed him a gentle smile. “So please, don’t be away again from me.”
Chinen startled and his mouth agape in surprise. But a moment later with his remained energy he pushed Yamada’s hand from his cheek. “You don’t have to feel pity for me.” Chinen snapped. “Look at me! I’m okay without you!” He yelled at Yamada.
“But I’m not okay!” Yamada unconsciously yelled back at Chinen. “And it’s your fault!”
“I’m not doing anything!” Chinen retorted. “You just made me as an excuse, then made me as the third wheel on your relationship so that you won’t be the only bad person here to ruin your own relationship!” The burst emotion built inside him had reduced him to tears. “It’s true, I like you! But I don’t want to interfere in your relationship.” His voice became weaker and weaker.
Yamada felt guilty after seeing Chinen’s tears. “I’m not blaming you for ruining my relationship.” Yamada says in a soft voice. “I blamed you for avoiding me, ignoring me like you didn’t know who I am. You left me feeling uneasy for the whole time.”
“That’s got no relation with me right? I’m not…”
“Listen!” Yamada put his hands on both sides of Chinen’s cheeks. “Get an idea why I feel like this?” Yamada’s gaze had mesmerized Chinen’s heart, melting him with gentle eyes. Chinen felt himself getting calmer and calmer, then finally he shook his head slightly. “It’s because I accidentally in love with you.” Without wasting any more times, Yamada caught Chinen’s lips and lingered there for a moment.
Yamada’s sentence became a breeze that blew gently beside Chinen’s ears, and the butterfly in his stomach flapped its wings uncontrollably because of the kiss. He didn’t believe what he just heard, and he didn’t believe the kiss. It couldn’t be true.
Shaking his head weakly, Chinen pushed Yamada away. He rolled his eyes to avert the latter’s gaze. “It’s a pity, right?” A faint smile curved on his lips. “I don’t get any idea if my confession would ruin your relationship because you took a pity on me.” A heavy sigh left his lips while he wiped his tears. “So the antagonist one is me, right?”
“You don’t get it!” Yamada finally shouted in frustration.
“It’s obvious, right?” Chinen retorted. “How could you say that you love me and kiss me while until some hours ago you still love somebody else and was her boyfriend?” Feeling of disbelief fused with agony filled Chinen’s heart. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Yamada to love him, sure, he wanted it so bad. But he felt that something wasn’t right. “I know you shouldn’t be here any longer. You have someone to chase after, and I have to rest properly.” Chinen forced a smile. His head felt so dizzy. “You can go home, Yamada. Thank you for accompanying me.”
When Yamada wanted to say something more, the door was opened and revealing Saaya with her worried face. Seeing that his little brother had woken up, she dropped the bag and ran to his bed.
“Thank goodness you finally awake. The doctor said that you were just sleeping but I couldn’t help but feeling worry the whole time.” She said while caressing Chinen’s cheek.
“I’m sorry to make you worry.” Chinen apologized. He saw a glimpse of tiredness on his sister’s face. She must be so busy today.
“I told you to take care of yourself, but you ignored it and finally became like this. You’re so stupid.” The affection on her sentence couldn’t be covered by her pretended to be angry-face. “And also thanks to Yamada-kun for bringing you here.” Saaya turned her head to say thank you to Yamada. But he wasn’t there anymore. “Eh? I think he’s still here a minute ago.”
Chinen faked a smile. “Maybe he still has some works to do.” He made an excuse.
“Really? He’s so kind, ne.” Saaya nodded and blinked. “Do you know, he was the one who carried you when you fell unconscious, stayed by your side until you arrived in the hospital, and even until some minutes ago, and even after Shida-chan came. He even hasn’t had his lunch yet although I’ve offered him. He must be so worry about you.”
Chinen’s eyes dimmed. What Saaya had just told him was like adding salts on his wounds. Since Yamada kissed him, he felt pain assaulting his heart.
“And did something happen with their relationship?” Yes, Saaya knew it all because Chinen always told her what happened to him. “Just right before I went home to get your clothes, I saw Yamada kept holding your hands tightly when you nearly opened your eyes. He kept biting his lips and stood beside you meanwhile Shida said nothing about his action.”
Chinen turned his head. He tried his best not to cry again. “I… don’t know.”
“Your voice sounded a bit hoarse. Are you alright?” Saaya tilted her head to check her brother’s condition, but she found tears rolling down from Chinen’s eyes instead. Taking a deep breath, Saaya caressed Chinen’s temple. “Something must have happened again, right? Just for tonight, try not to think about it and take a proper rest.”
If he could do that, Chinen had done it long ago. No matter how hard he tried to bury his memories with Yamada in the deepest valley on his heart, it just happened to appear again and again. Everything around him seemed to remind him of Yamada. And now, his lips could still feel the sensation that came some minutes ago. It was a sweet moment, as he had longed for those lips since he knew he fell in love with Yamada and it was the lips that speaking of a confession from the one he loved. But it tasted so bitter, that the lips that received the kiss were the lips of his who had said many terrible things to Yamada despite of telling him his true feeling.
to be continued..
Comment = <3
XD
Author:
chii_mao_13
Pairing: Yamachii, Yamashi
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Loving someone isn't an easy problem. Forgetting someone important is almost impossible. But turning down someone he love is the way more difficult.
Note: Another chapter from this slowpoke for everyone who want to read this. Rei-chan, this is the update, finally. XDDD Hohohohoho. But I changed my mind and decided to change the plot and rewrite this chapter, therefore it won't be the last chapter. Hohohoho *run away*
Chapter 4
Obsessing is not good. Especially when I’m obsessing with someone that’s impossible to be mine. After all, it started with a lie. What is not so good about lying is the end will bring some bitter experiences to the liar.
I don’t know what bring me more agony. Whether it’s seeing your figure from afar and reminding myself that you’re out of my reach, or being able to stay by your side but have to chew the fact that the more I get closer to you the more I love you meanwhile you love someone else and will never turn your head to me.
Another week had passed without Yamada. It wasn’t that Chinen didn’t meet him occasionally, in contrary to it, he met him at many places. In the cafeteria, in the toilet, in the school gate, in the classroom, and even when they were outside the school. It was just that he chose to stay quiet, ignoring Yamada like he was a stranger. Chinen knew, Yamada again and again took a glance at him everytime they were in the same place. But Chinen has decided that he would try to live his life properly, just like when he hadn’t meet Yamada before.
Last week he scratched himself by falling over and over in the club practice, and ended up sleeping in the infirmary without taking care of his scratches. But after he woke up, he found himself with some bandage aids covered his scratches. But when he asked to everyone on the club, no one admitted that they did it. And the weirdest, he felt warmness spread from his temple to his face. A member said that he saw Yamada came to pick Shida but then he missed somewhere. Could it be that the one who taking care of him was Yamada?
Chinen realized that he had been imagined it excessively. Maybe he still possessed some obsessions to have Yamada for himself. Before it was too late, Chinen convinced himself that he had to face the reality.
“Chinen, are you okay?”
Chinen opened his eyes and realized that he’d held his head for some silence times. He felt pain assaulted his head and he tried to ease the pain by massaging his temple.
“I’m okay.” He lied. He couldn’t cause any trouble to anyone today, because today was the sport festival and everyone was working hard for it. At least, he still had to cheer his team although he’d won the racing competition. It was good that the pain didn’t come when he was running. But now it hurt more and more.
“If you’re exhausted, you can take a rest.” His friend suggested with a worry tone.
“I’m okay.” Chinen lied again.
He rose up again and started to yell, cheering his team on the ongoing competition. He started to feel dizzy again, but he forced his own body to move so that no one would be suspicious again. But when suddenly he wanted to throw up, he excused himself to the toilet, pretending that he must go. His health condition was not in a good state since last week. He forced himself practicing tennis alone in the court after school although the coach had said that he needed some rests.
“Toilet…” Chinen mumbled to himself as his vision started to become blurry. He covered his mouth so that he wouldn’t vomit before reaching the toilet. But as he passed the water fountain, he spotted Yamada and Shida’s figures, talking about something. And unfortunately, Shida spotted him.
“Ah, Chinen!” She waved. Chinen forced himself to smile and waved back. “What are you doing here?” Shida approached Chinen, and tailed by Yamada.
“No-nothing.” He was hardly able to speak. Maybe if he talked too much, he’d vomit there.
“You looked so pale. Are you tired?” Shida asked again, but Chinen just shook his head. “Your race earlier was so great. Next is my turn and I hope I’ll do as well as you.” She smiled.
Now Chinen started to reach his own limit. “Ga-ganbatte.” His voice was still audible, but it looked like a whisper instead.
“Eh? What’s wrong with you?” Shida started to be panic as Chinen slowly closed his eyes. The nausea was slowly disappearing, replaced by a heavy exhaustion and pain on his head.
“Chinen!”
The last voice he heard was Yamada’s panic voice that calling his name. And all he saw was blackness.
***
Chinen tried to blink, but he felt like glue had been stuck on his eyes so he couldn’t open it. Feeling afraid, he tried to swing his hand in the air to reach whatever was near him. But instead of touching something, he felt something gripped his hand tight. It was warm and soft. A feeling of relief came to Chinen, knowing that he wasn’t alone although he couldn’t open his eyes. More, he felt the same warmness now was moving on his cheek.
But suddenly that warmness disappeared, and he felt emptiness on his hands. He tried to reach it once again, but it was futile. There was nothing on his reach. Chinen stayed in silence, regaining his energy for a while. Now he felt it was enough to open his eyes, so he did it. As his eyes opened, Chinen could see a familiar figure was looking at him.
“Is it… Shida?”
“Ah, welcome back, Chinen.” She smiled in relief. Chinen blinked his eyes again for several times because he still couldn’t see anything clearly. “I know you must be curious, so I’ll tell you, it’s already night and you’re in the hospital.”
“Eh? Why?”
“The doctor said that you have a high fever and lack of nutrition due to overwork and heavy exhaustion that you fell unconscious and continued to sleep. So, you must stay here at least for some nights so that they can take care of you.” Shida explained. “By the way, your sister told me that your parents are on a business trip so she didn’t tell them. She was here too, but thirty minutes ago she went home to get your clothes.”
“Thank you.” Chinen said weakly. It looks like he hadn’t regained his real energy yet. He felt so weak.
“And Ryosuke went to call the doctor when you were about to open your eyes. So wait for a while, okay?”
Chinen’s smile disappeared. Why Yamada must be here too. It wasn’t that he didn’t feel happy knowing Yamada was taking care of him too, but he was with Shida. He was exhausted and he didn’t want to think about that problem at least for now. He had his head full already and he didn’t want to add more burdens to it.
The door opened, letting a doctor and a nurse to come into the room. Behind them, there was another boy Chinen didn’t really want to see now.
The nurse immediately checked the blood temperature and the doctor checked and asked some things to Chinen about what he felt right now. Yamada and Shida could just waiting behind them, standing next to each other with silence conquering them.
Finished the checking, the doctor said that he’d have the nurse to get the medicine for him, and then left the room. Shida came toward Chinen and smiled to him.
“Happy you’re awake now. You have to stay healthy. Taking care of your own body was one of the requirements to be a pro athlete.” She warned him, and replied by a weak ‘thank you’ from Chinen. “Okay, I have to go now. Take care, okay.”
“Eh? You’ll go?” Chinen asked and couldn’t help but feeling a little bit relief. At least, Yamada would also go out of the room with her. “Thank you so much, Shida.”
Shida smiled. “I’m sorry I can’t accompany you until your sister comes back. I have some works to do in my house.” Chinen nodded and smiled back to her. But then she leaned in to whisper something to Chinen. “And take care of him too. He never left your side when you were unconscious.”
Without waiting for Chinen’s reaction, Shida swiftly turned her body and left the room, leaving a dumbfounded Chinen. But what made him felt more confused, Yamada just waved his hand to Shida and didn’t follow her went out of the room. Instead, he walked his way toward Chinen’s bed.
“You… didn’t go home with her?” Chinen asked cautiously while still staring at the door.
“No.” Yamada answered simply.
“You let her going home alone?” This was what would be happened once Chinen regained his consciousness completely back.
“Don’t worry. Her dad is a doctor here, so she’ll come home with her dad.” Yamada answered. “Furthermore, who’ll be here with you until your sister comes?”
“I’m okay.” Chinen answered quickly. He turned his head from Yamada. “You don’t have to trouble yourself like that.” Chinen felt guilty after acted a little bit harsh to Yamada. But he couldn’t get Yamada into his trouble this much. He knew Shida was true that Yamada hadn’t left him yet because he still wore his uniform. Maybe he just had the chance to change his sport uniform into the usual uniform. “Thank you for accompanying me. My sister should be here soon, so you don’t have to stay here any longer…”
Chinen stopped talking. His heart beat faster and faster until he thought he was going to burst. Yamada now was holding his hand with both of his own hands. It was the same warmness he felt on his dream when he was still unconscious.
“Do you know how worry I was when seeing you laying without any single movement?”
Yamada’s soft voice made a contrary effect, jolt to Chinen’s whole body. Chinen knew that he was so lucky for not facing Yamada right now or else he could see his red face.
“That’s why I won’t leave your side again.”
Chinen’s decision was quickly faded away by this sentence. He turned his head, puzzle scattered on his mind.
“You can’t say that meanwhile you have a girlfriend, or else she’d leave you.”
To state this wasn’t an easy problem. It was the same as Chinen declared that he supported Yamada and Shida to always be together.
“We’ve broken up.” Yamada said, made Chinen’s eyes widened. “She’s the one I only deserved to look from afar. We don’t belong together. I’ve hurt her so much. She always knew that all this time the more we were together the less comfort I felt. And finally, this morning before you passed the water fountain, she said that last week she watched it when I kissed you in the infirmary.”
So the kiss wasn’t just his silly imagination. It was Yamada who spread that warmness through his body. Feeling happy? Of course. He still loved Yamada and there was no way he wouldn’t be happy after being kissed by Yamada. But in this sort of time?
“Chinen listen.” Chinen felt Yamada tightened the grips. “I realized that I need someone else by my side, someone that’s not out of my reach. Someone who gives his whole heart for supporting me although he’ll unconsciously hurt himself.” Yamada admitted and gently reached Chinen’s cheek. Staring deeply on his eyes, Yamada showed him a gentle smile. “So please, don’t be away again from me.”
Chinen startled and his mouth agape in surprise. But a moment later with his remained energy he pushed Yamada’s hand from his cheek. “You don’t have to feel pity for me.” Chinen snapped. “Look at me! I’m okay without you!” He yelled at Yamada.
“But I’m not okay!” Yamada unconsciously yelled back at Chinen. “And it’s your fault!”
“I’m not doing anything!” Chinen retorted. “You just made me as an excuse, then made me as the third wheel on your relationship so that you won’t be the only bad person here to ruin your own relationship!” The burst emotion built inside him had reduced him to tears. “It’s true, I like you! But I don’t want to interfere in your relationship.” His voice became weaker and weaker.
Yamada felt guilty after seeing Chinen’s tears. “I’m not blaming you for ruining my relationship.” Yamada says in a soft voice. “I blamed you for avoiding me, ignoring me like you didn’t know who I am. You left me feeling uneasy for the whole time.”
“That’s got no relation with me right? I’m not…”
“Listen!” Yamada put his hands on both sides of Chinen’s cheeks. “Get an idea why I feel like this?” Yamada’s gaze had mesmerized Chinen’s heart, melting him with gentle eyes. Chinen felt himself getting calmer and calmer, then finally he shook his head slightly. “It’s because I accidentally in love with you.” Without wasting any more times, Yamada caught Chinen’s lips and lingered there for a moment.
Yamada’s sentence became a breeze that blew gently beside Chinen’s ears, and the butterfly in his stomach flapped its wings uncontrollably because of the kiss. He didn’t believe what he just heard, and he didn’t believe the kiss. It couldn’t be true.
Shaking his head weakly, Chinen pushed Yamada away. He rolled his eyes to avert the latter’s gaze. “It’s a pity, right?” A faint smile curved on his lips. “I don’t get any idea if my confession would ruin your relationship because you took a pity on me.” A heavy sigh left his lips while he wiped his tears. “So the antagonist one is me, right?”
“You don’t get it!” Yamada finally shouted in frustration.
“It’s obvious, right?” Chinen retorted. “How could you say that you love me and kiss me while until some hours ago you still love somebody else and was her boyfriend?” Feeling of disbelief fused with agony filled Chinen’s heart. It wasn’t that he didn’t want Yamada to love him, sure, he wanted it so bad. But he felt that something wasn’t right. “I know you shouldn’t be here any longer. You have someone to chase after, and I have to rest properly.” Chinen forced a smile. His head felt so dizzy. “You can go home, Yamada. Thank you for accompanying me.”
When Yamada wanted to say something more, the door was opened and revealing Saaya with her worried face. Seeing that his little brother had woken up, she dropped the bag and ran to his bed.
“Thank goodness you finally awake. The doctor said that you were just sleeping but I couldn’t help but feeling worry the whole time.” She said while caressing Chinen’s cheek.
“I’m sorry to make you worry.” Chinen apologized. He saw a glimpse of tiredness on his sister’s face. She must be so busy today.
“I told you to take care of yourself, but you ignored it and finally became like this. You’re so stupid.” The affection on her sentence couldn’t be covered by her pretended to be angry-face. “And also thanks to Yamada-kun for bringing you here.” Saaya turned her head to say thank you to Yamada. But he wasn’t there anymore. “Eh? I think he’s still here a minute ago.”
Chinen faked a smile. “Maybe he still has some works to do.” He made an excuse.
“Really? He’s so kind, ne.” Saaya nodded and blinked. “Do you know, he was the one who carried you when you fell unconscious, stayed by your side until you arrived in the hospital, and even until some minutes ago, and even after Shida-chan came. He even hasn’t had his lunch yet although I’ve offered him. He must be so worry about you.”
Chinen’s eyes dimmed. What Saaya had just told him was like adding salts on his wounds. Since Yamada kissed him, he felt pain assaulting his heart.
“And did something happen with their relationship?” Yes, Saaya knew it all because Chinen always told her what happened to him. “Just right before I went home to get your clothes, I saw Yamada kept holding your hands tightly when you nearly opened your eyes. He kept biting his lips and stood beside you meanwhile Shida said nothing about his action.”
Chinen turned his head. He tried his best not to cry again. “I… don’t know.”
“Your voice sounded a bit hoarse. Are you alright?” Saaya tilted her head to check her brother’s condition, but she found tears rolling down from Chinen’s eyes instead. Taking a deep breath, Saaya caressed Chinen’s temple. “Something must have happened again, right? Just for tonight, try not to think about it and take a proper rest.”
If he could do that, Chinen had done it long ago. No matter how hard he tried to bury his memories with Yamada in the deepest valley on his heart, it just happened to appear again and again. Everything around him seemed to remind him of Yamada. And now, his lips could still feel the sensation that came some minutes ago. It was a sweet moment, as he had longed for those lips since he knew he fell in love with Yamada and it was the lips that speaking of a confession from the one he loved. But it tasted so bitter, that the lips that received the kiss were the lips of his who had said many terrible things to Yamada despite of telling him his true feeling.
to be continued..
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