Watashi no Taiyou
Title : Watashi no Taiyou
Pairing : Tadaiki, slight Inoobu
Rating : PG-13
Author : chii_mao_13
Summary : When will the sun stop shining? Daiki has his own opinion
Note : This is for nina-chan nikuta who is Tadaiki biased... XD
It's failed, but feel free to read this fic ne...
The open blue sky is so beautiful. The floating clouds have so many different forms, makes an amazing combination with the blue sky. Such a beautiful painting up there. The wind blows calmly, brings the familiar smell of the meadow where I lied myself. The birds chirp above there. The sounds of the dancing grass that blew by wind is such a perfect lullaby. Here, the most beautiful hill I’ve ever seen.
I close my eyes and inhale deeply. I miss this smell. The fresh smell that I used to know. The smell that drives me slowly to my dream world. The smell that makes me addicted. The smell that can make me feel like flying up to the sky.
As I open my eyes, I can see the sky again. Yes, the sky is, again, so beautiful. Especially in this kind of time. In the afternoon. Maybe it will be different at night. Although many people said that the night sky is the best, for me, the bright afternoon sky is the best.
Why?
Just because of one thing that you can’t see at night.
TAIYOU*
I can’t take my eyes off of him. He’s so dazzling. His loud appearance looks like a pheromone that takes all my attention and mind. His wavy brunette hair makes his appearance become more special. His tall perfect body makes me jealous, realizing my own heights. His lazy expression makes him looks so cool yet manly. Contrast with his girly face. Somehow, he’s so bright for me.
“He is Takaki Yuya, Kota’s friend.” Inoo’s voice makes me realizing that I’ve been staring at him for a moment. I turn my head to him.
“Eh?” I feel kinda embarrassed Inoo caught me staring at that person.
“He is Kota’s friend, Takaki Yuya. He accompanies Kota here. He can drive a car. Since my dumb boyfriend refused to learn how to drive, he can’t do nothing but ask his friend to send him here. I ask Kota to accompany me here too.” Inoo explains while looking at Yabu who is at kitchen now with that dazzling person who turned out to be Takaki. “And I know you’re attracted with him, deshou?” Inoo teases me. I just blink and shake my head.
“No. I’m just surprised because I’ve never see him before.” I lie. But my face can’t make a companion with me. I feel warmness spreads on my face. Inoo laughs.
“You can’t lie to me, Dai-chan. Don’t worry, I’ll introduce you to him. Now, let’s sit there. Don’t just standing in the front of the door.” Inoo lets me come in to his house.
I follow Inoo’s step. He asks me to sit while he calls Yabu and Takaki. I pretend to read the magazine that Inoo put on the table. I want to calm this doki-doki in my heart. Maybe it’s weird, but, yes, somehow I feel my heart gallops everytime I take a glance at him.
“Daiki! My chubby penguin!” Yabu suddenly comes to me and ruffles my hair. I pout and look at him with an annoyed look. But suddenly Inoo sits beside me and hugs me.
“He’s my penguin. Don’t you dare to claim him as yours, Kota!” Inoo sends his death glares to his boyfriend, who is laughing now. I sigh. Both of them have the same intention to make me as their pet.
“I’m not a penguin.” I protest, but Inoo ignores it, and ruffles my hair.
“Ne, Takaki, he is my cute penguin. Daiki Arioka.” Inoo introduces me to Takaki. I feel my heart stops beating when I feel that he sits across my seat.
“No. Believe me, Yuya. He’s my penguin.” Yabu interrupts. Inoo glares at Yabu.
“Kota, you know that I have him since my junior high school time. You don’t have the right to claim him as yours.” Inoo says.
“But you can’t take care of anything, Kei. Remember, your hamster died just a week after you bought it?” Yabu teases Inoo. Inoo pouts.
“Oh, you don’t remember what happened by your own goldfish ne. You throw it to your closet.” Inoo smirks.
“It’s just an accident, you know. I don’t have intent to throw it. I just wanted to change the water.” Yabu makes an excuse.
I just sigh witnessing their usual weird romance activities. They love to tease each other. But it’s just their expression that they care for each other.
Then I take a glance to Takaki, who just smiles slightly watching their conversation. My heart feels doki-doki again. Is it love at the first sight?
When I enjoy my time taking a glance at him, suddenly my phone buzzes. It’s a call from Hikaru, my buddy. We’ve become buddies since we were still 4 years old. But now he attends a different university from me. It’s located in another town. Need 45 minutes to get there. That’s why we can rarely meet each other.
“Yo Hika-chan? What’s up?” I ask.
“Dai-chan?” Instead of Hikaru’ voice, I heard his mother’s voice. Her voice is trembling. My instinct says that there’s something bad happened.
“Ye… Yes, ba-chan.”
“Hikaru… He’s died.” I can hear her crying voice. “A car hit him hard when he crossed the street in front of our house.”
I freeze while my eyes still opened wide, leaving Inoo, Yabu, and Takaki in questioning looks. I want to say that my ears playing trick on me, but I can’t.
“I… I just want to tell you that. Tha… thanks for being his bestfriend ne, Dai-chan. Jya.” His mother hangs up the phone.
I stand up there, with the tears slowly rolling down to my cheeks. Inoo stands up and faces me.
“What happens?” he asks in a worry tone.
“Hika-chan… died.” I can just answer with a blank face.
“Oh My God.” Inoo gasps, and then hugs me. My brain can’t think clearly again. I want to see Hikaru right now.
“I’ll go there.” I say with my trembling voice.
“But you can’t ride a train with this condition, Dai-chan.” Inoo says. Yes, he’s right. I might get lost with my present condition.
“I’ll send you there.”
Weakly, I look at the person who said that. Takaki has stood up with a serious face. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get there safely.” He adds.
Inoo releases his hugs and looks at me. He holds my shoulders.
“Let Takaki drives you there, okay?” Inoo says.
“But… Yabu…” I look at Yabu.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be here until you come back.” Yabu smiles softly to me and pats my head.
“All you have to do is just showing the directions to get there to me.” Takaki says again. I nod weakly.
“Thanks all.”
Then Takaki drives me to Hikaru’s house. He always stands beside me there. Sometimes he shoves tissues to me, who is crying nonstop seeing Hikaru’s lifeless body. He doesn’t say anything to calm me or stop me from crying. He doesn’t try to cheer me up too. All he does is just stand beside me and follows me wherever I go.
Until the time we have to go back, I haven’t stopped crying yet. We run out of tissues, so he hands me his handkerchief. I look at him with my teary eyes, and he just smiles slightly.
“Just use this.”
I receive the handkerchief, and use it to wipe my tears. I can smell his smell from the handkerchief. During the way getting back to Inoo’s house, he hums over and over. His voice is so calming, and not so long after that, I’ve flied to my own world and drifted to sleep, still with face full of tears.
***
The sun always shines to us no matter whether we ask for it or not. The sunlight comes, makes the day brighter. It spreads its light to all people. After rain, the sun shares its light to make a beautiful rainbow for us. It gives us happiness.
So did my taiyou. He spread his lights to the people. He helped everyone who needs for his help. He even didn’t mind to help the people he hadn’t known before. Like what he did to me before. And he gave me happiness that I have never felt before. The biggest happiness in my life maybe. He made my day brighter. And he even let me own his light.
“Kimochiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!” I shout in happiness while stretching both of my arms. I remove some bangs from my forehead. It is blown by the wind.
“You like it darou?” He asks me. I turn my head on him, and give him my widest smile. He stands some feets behind me.
“Still need to ask?” I smirk. He laughs.
“This is my favorite place. Sooooo quiet and calming.” He looks at his surrounding.
I have to agree with him. This small hill is so perfect for the people like me, who loves calm and quiet place. There are some big trees too there. Seemed that Takaki likes this kind of place too.
“When you look at the sky from here, you’ll feel like you own the sky, and can reach it so easily.” I say while looking up to the blue sky. I lift both of my arms, and imagine myself try to reach the sky.
“I often do it. When I was little, my father often brings me here along with my mother, and we have a family picnic here. Since people rarely visit this place, we admit it as our own hill.” He smiles and walks to stand beside me.
“It must be so fun ne, having a family picnic here. Especially when we can admit that it’s our own hill.” I say while laying myself down. “Then we don’t need to bring any mat, because this grass can be the mat. It’s so relax laying here. I think I can sleep here too.”
He sits down beside me.
“Yeah. But the sun sometimes shines too bright, so we must stay under the trees.” He says. I look at him.
“The sun spreads warmness. Just enjoy it. Furthermore, it won’t be too hot here. The combination with the blowing wind makes a perfect weather for relaxing.” I say to him.
“Yeah. That’s true. It can’t be too hot here. It always warm.” He smiles to me. I smile back.
“Ne, Takaki, at the first time I saw you, you’re so dazzling, looks like the taiyou.” I decide to tell him what’s on my mind.
“Eh? Me? Taiyou?”
I nod. “Yeah. You’re like a taiyou. Somehow you look so bright, and it reminds me of the taiyou. At first I thought that it was just because of your loud appearance. But then you spread your lights to all people that you meet, not just to the people you’ve known. Remember the first time we met? You drove me to Hikaru’s house, although we haven’t known each other formally yet. Looks like the taiyou ne. Spreads the sunlights to all people without choosing.”
I close my eyes. I regret my own statement. Honestly, I want that light just for myself. I want this taiyou to shine only for me. But I know I shouldn’t be egoist. He has his own opinion and own decision. I can’t restrict him.
“I don’t want to be that kind of taiyou.” He slowly says, make me frowns. I open my eyes and look at him.
“Why?”
Takaki smiles and looks at me. My heart beats faster just seeing his smile.
“Because this taiyou wants to shine on you only. Will you accept the offer?”
I stun on my position. Did he read my mind? My heart feels like stop beating this time. I don’t want my ears to play trick on me.
“Wh… what do you mean?” I try my best not to blush.
“Maybe sometimes this taiyou will shine too bright and makes you feel disturbed. But this taiyou promise that he won’t leave you, and keep shining on you whenever and wherever you are, and tries the best to give you happiness.” I swear I see the redness of Takaki’s face, although he said it while looking at his front, refuses to look at my eyes.
My face getting warmer. A tear rolls down my cheek. I don’t know how to describe my feeling right now, because I feel like I’m floating in the sky. It’s just too amazing to be described. I smile widely, and sit properly.
“Honestly ne, I want the taiyou for myself only because I love the taiyou.” I say with a red face. Takaki immediately look at me with his eyes opened wide. I smile softly to him. Then slowly, his shocked face becomes smoother. He smiles back to me.
He doesn’t say any word again, but just moves his face closer to me to catch my lips with his own lips. We share our first kiss with the sun as the witness.
***
The taiyou never made me disturbed with his light. Yeah, sometimes he shined too bright, or shared the light with other people, and it made me jealous. But it wasn’t more than his kindness. I know from the bottom of my heart, that he’d keep his promise.
But then, I found a time when he shined too bright again, but in the different way.
“I hate rain.” I pout, still sit on my seat beside Yuya. “It make us can do nothing but stay in this car until the rain stops.”
We suppose to have a picnic in the small hill, when suddenly it rains heavily. I’ve been waiting for a week to have a picnic with Yuya.
“Shou ga nai naa*.” Yuya sighs. “Let’s wait until the rain stop. It’s too danger to go home too in this kind of situation.” He adds.
I nod, still with pout formed in my lips. He turns his head and looks at me. He laughs.
“You surely look like a penguin this way. I understand why Yabu and Inoo want to have you as their pet.” He teases me. I send my death glare to him. But still pouting, I turn my head again, facing the front side.
Yuya shakes his head. Swiftly, he holds my cheek, turns my head to face him, and kiss me on my pouted lips. I close my eyes and enjoy the kiss. The he pulls away, but still his lips just 5 centimeters away from mine. He looks me intently.
“Your pouting lips invite me to kiss it.” He says. I chuckles.
“Just say that you want to kiss me.” I stuck my tongue out.
He uses that chance to catch my tongue with his lips, and let it dances with his own tongue. Slowly, he pushes my tongue back to my mouth, and invades my hot cavern with his tongue. His right arm holds my head, makes the kiss deeper. This is the most passionate kiss we ever had.
I don’t know how can we end up like this, but he made me moved to the back seat with him, and he shares his light again with me, in a new different way. He let me be a part of him, and I let him be a part of me too. He looks so bright this time, that I can’t resist him.
And I give him my virginity.
After some moments full of moans, I rest my head on his bare chest, still panting.
“Tired…” I mumble. He just caresses my head softly. His touch is full of love, I can feel it. I can’t forget the warmness on my cheek too.
Then he taps my arm.
“Look! We don’t realize that the rain has stopped.”
I look at the outside, and he’s right. the rain has stopped.
“Wow. How can we didn’t realize it?”
“Because you moaned too loud before.” He teases me. I pout.
“You did it too rough. That hurts!” I protest. He laughs.
“I’ve held myself since the first time we kiss, Dai-chan. And this time I can’t resist it again.” I blush. He surely loves teasing me with his words. I look at the outside again.
“Ah, rainbow! Suteki!” I can’t help myself but smiling widely seeing this scenery. He looks at the outside too, and smiles.
“How about having our postponed picnic now? There’s still some hours before the dawn comes.” He suggests. I nod happily.
Then we put on our clothes again, and having our picnic there. If we have limited happiness in our life, I’m sure I’ve spent all of it today.
***
Will the sun run out of the light?
If it shares the light everyday to the people, it means that someday it will stop to shine, because it has no more light.
What about my taiyou?
Yeah, taiyou is still a taiyou.
It has been a week since our last picnic. Yuya has to go to another town to accompany his father meeting an important client. His father wants him to learn how to facing clients and make a deal with them. So he said that maybe he’d be busy for this week that he maybe can’t call me.
I respect his family life, and I will wait patiently until he comes back here.
Today is supposed to be his return day. I can’t wait to see him. As soon as we meet, I’ll kiss him straightly and hugs him tight. I miss him so much. He said that he’ll call me as soon as he reaches his house, and then go to my house.
I sit on my bed, with my phone in my hand. I can’t wait him to call me.
Then my phone buzzes. Excitedly, I pick it without seeing who calls me. It must be Yuya!
“Yuya!” I shout happily.
“Owh, Dai-chan, zannen, but it’s me.” I hear Yabu’s voice instead. I sigh in disappointed.
“Ah, nani?”
“I’ll pick you up and take you to Yuya. He’s come back but he can’t go to your house. So I’ll get you to his place instead. Okay?” I frowns, but then agree.
“Okay.”
Then Yabu hang up the phone. My mind is full of Yuya now. Is he sick? Maybe he was too busy, and forced himself too hard. I should stay beside him then.
I change my clothes, and wait for Yabu in front of my house. Inoo has succeeded to force him learning how to drive. He has had a car from a year ago, but since he didn’t know how to drive, his father used it instead.
Not too long after that, Yabu appears in front of my house.
“Let’s go.” He says that starts the engine.
“Where is Inoo?” I ask him.
“He’s in Yuya’s place, waiting for us.” Yabu says, looks at the front. I just nod.
But then I feel familiar with the direction Yabu brings me. It’s the way to the small hill, our favorite place! I start to think that Yuya actually wants to give me a surprise there. I smile if wondering what will Yuya give to me. But actually, just with his presence, I can feel I’m the happiest person in this world.
We’ve reached the field that located about 50 meters from the peak. Yuya usually parks his car here, and then we’ll walk to the peak while holding hands.
“Ne, let’s meet Yuya.” Yabu says.
I excitedly walk fast. I can’t wait to meet him again. But when I reach the place where we usually lay ourselves in, I just see Inoo.
“Eh? Inoo? Where’s Yuya?” I ask him. He smiles weakly.
“Kocchi.”
I walk closer to him, but then see no one. But when I follow Inoo’s gaze, I freeze on my spot. There, under the big tree, there’s a grave. The only grave there. And the name written in that…
“He had an accident as soon as he reached the meeting place. He wanted to across the street when suddenly a car with a drunken driver hit him. Although his father had brought him to the hospital, he can’t be saved. He runs out of blood.” Yabu appears behind me and explains it.
I fall down beside the grave. I caress the name that carved there. Takaki Yuya.
“His family decided to bury him here since it’s his favorite place. They kept the news from the others because his parents are still too shocked. They told me this morning, and asked me to tell you. Seemed that Yuya intend to introduce you to his family as soon as he come back. He had told his parents that he has you as his boyfriend though.”
I can’t hear Yabu’s explanation again because my mind is full of Yuya, and I can’t think of something else again. Still no words come from my mouth. Inoo hugs me tight with his face full of tears, and Yabu stands beside me.
My taiyou has run out of his light, and left me alone. How many times I pray, he won’t shine again. How many times I whisper ‘I love you’, he won’t come back to say the same words to me. And how many times I ask for his light, he won’t give it to me again.
***
I lay myself on the grass, like what I used to do with Yuya. Look up at the sky, I find that the sun still shines brightly. I smile, and caressed my neck to search for my necklace. I look at it. A necklace with a small sun-shaped ornament hang on it. It also has my name written on it.
This is the present that Yuya had prepared for me. He has the same necklace for himself too.
I sit again, and lean myself to the side of the grave.
“Ne Yuya, look. The sun above there is still shining over us. No need to worry about the light again.” I caresses his name that written there. Yeah, maybe he won’t shine on me again. He has run out of his light.
I close my eyes, and recall my memories about you. For me, the dazzling you is still my taiyou. My only taiyou. I don’t care if you don’t have your light again. You always shine on my heart. My memories about you will always shine with no one could erase it.
“You’re still my only taiyou.” I whisper it near the grave, although I know he won’t hear me again.
At our first meeting, you were dazzling
At our confession, you became my dazzling taiyou
As we share our first kiss, you were still dazzling
At our first time together, you were still dazzling
And now, although we’re separated, you’re still my dazzling taiyou
目を閉じて、思い出す
眩しいあなたは私の太陽
END
*taiyou : sun
*shou ga nai : it can’t be helped
A/N : I hope you like it.. I'm failed at angst... T^T
Suddenly my friend asked me to make a fic with ending based on her story.
I enhanced it with my favorite song, KOKIA - WATASHI NO TAIYOU XDDDD
Pairing : Tadaiki, slight Inoobu
Rating : PG-13
Author : chii_mao_13
Summary : When will the sun stop shining? Daiki has his own opinion
Note : This is for nina-chan nikuta who is Tadaiki biased... XD
It's failed, but feel free to read this fic ne...
The open blue sky is so beautiful. The floating clouds have so many different forms, makes an amazing combination with the blue sky. Such a beautiful painting up there. The wind blows calmly, brings the familiar smell of the meadow where I lied myself. The birds chirp above there. The sounds of the dancing grass that blew by wind is such a perfect lullaby. Here, the most beautiful hill I’ve ever seen.
I close my eyes and inhale deeply. I miss this smell. The fresh smell that I used to know. The smell that drives me slowly to my dream world. The smell that makes me addicted. The smell that can make me feel like flying up to the sky.
As I open my eyes, I can see the sky again. Yes, the sky is, again, so beautiful. Especially in this kind of time. In the afternoon. Maybe it will be different at night. Although many people said that the night sky is the best, for me, the bright afternoon sky is the best.
Why?
Just because of one thing that you can’t see at night.
TAIYOU*
I can’t take my eyes off of him. He’s so dazzling. His loud appearance looks like a pheromone that takes all my attention and mind. His wavy brunette hair makes his appearance become more special. His tall perfect body makes me jealous, realizing my own heights. His lazy expression makes him looks so cool yet manly. Contrast with his girly face. Somehow, he’s so bright for me.
“He is Takaki Yuya, Kota’s friend.” Inoo’s voice makes me realizing that I’ve been staring at him for a moment. I turn my head to him.
“Eh?” I feel kinda embarrassed Inoo caught me staring at that person.
“He is Kota’s friend, Takaki Yuya. He accompanies Kota here. He can drive a car. Since my dumb boyfriend refused to learn how to drive, he can’t do nothing but ask his friend to send him here. I ask Kota to accompany me here too.” Inoo explains while looking at Yabu who is at kitchen now with that dazzling person who turned out to be Takaki. “And I know you’re attracted with him, deshou?” Inoo teases me. I just blink and shake my head.
“No. I’m just surprised because I’ve never see him before.” I lie. But my face can’t make a companion with me. I feel warmness spreads on my face. Inoo laughs.
“You can’t lie to me, Dai-chan. Don’t worry, I’ll introduce you to him. Now, let’s sit there. Don’t just standing in the front of the door.” Inoo lets me come in to his house.
I follow Inoo’s step. He asks me to sit while he calls Yabu and Takaki. I pretend to read the magazine that Inoo put on the table. I want to calm this doki-doki in my heart. Maybe it’s weird, but, yes, somehow I feel my heart gallops everytime I take a glance at him.
“Daiki! My chubby penguin!” Yabu suddenly comes to me and ruffles my hair. I pout and look at him with an annoyed look. But suddenly Inoo sits beside me and hugs me.
“He’s my penguin. Don’t you dare to claim him as yours, Kota!” Inoo sends his death glares to his boyfriend, who is laughing now. I sigh. Both of them have the same intention to make me as their pet.
“I’m not a penguin.” I protest, but Inoo ignores it, and ruffles my hair.
“Ne, Takaki, he is my cute penguin. Daiki Arioka.” Inoo introduces me to Takaki. I feel my heart stops beating when I feel that he sits across my seat.
“No. Believe me, Yuya. He’s my penguin.” Yabu interrupts. Inoo glares at Yabu.
“Kota, you know that I have him since my junior high school time. You don’t have the right to claim him as yours.” Inoo says.
“But you can’t take care of anything, Kei. Remember, your hamster died just a week after you bought it?” Yabu teases Inoo. Inoo pouts.
“Oh, you don’t remember what happened by your own goldfish ne. You throw it to your closet.” Inoo smirks.
“It’s just an accident, you know. I don’t have intent to throw it. I just wanted to change the water.” Yabu makes an excuse.
I just sigh witnessing their usual weird romance activities. They love to tease each other. But it’s just their expression that they care for each other.
Then I take a glance to Takaki, who just smiles slightly watching their conversation. My heart feels doki-doki again. Is it love at the first sight?
When I enjoy my time taking a glance at him, suddenly my phone buzzes. It’s a call from Hikaru, my buddy. We’ve become buddies since we were still 4 years old. But now he attends a different university from me. It’s located in another town. Need 45 minutes to get there. That’s why we can rarely meet each other.
“Yo Hika-chan? What’s up?” I ask.
“Dai-chan?” Instead of Hikaru’ voice, I heard his mother’s voice. Her voice is trembling. My instinct says that there’s something bad happened.
“Ye… Yes, ba-chan.”
“Hikaru… He’s died.” I can hear her crying voice. “A car hit him hard when he crossed the street in front of our house.”
I freeze while my eyes still opened wide, leaving Inoo, Yabu, and Takaki in questioning looks. I want to say that my ears playing trick on me, but I can’t.
“I… I just want to tell you that. Tha… thanks for being his bestfriend ne, Dai-chan. Jya.” His mother hangs up the phone.
I stand up there, with the tears slowly rolling down to my cheeks. Inoo stands up and faces me.
“What happens?” he asks in a worry tone.
“Hika-chan… died.” I can just answer with a blank face.
“Oh My God.” Inoo gasps, and then hugs me. My brain can’t think clearly again. I want to see Hikaru right now.
“I’ll go there.” I say with my trembling voice.
“But you can’t ride a train with this condition, Dai-chan.” Inoo says. Yes, he’s right. I might get lost with my present condition.
“I’ll send you there.”
Weakly, I look at the person who said that. Takaki has stood up with a serious face. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you get there safely.” He adds.
Inoo releases his hugs and looks at me. He holds my shoulders.
“Let Takaki drives you there, okay?” Inoo says.
“But… Yabu…” I look at Yabu.
“Don’t worry. I’ll be here until you come back.” Yabu smiles softly to me and pats my head.
“All you have to do is just showing the directions to get there to me.” Takaki says again. I nod weakly.
“Thanks all.”
Then Takaki drives me to Hikaru’s house. He always stands beside me there. Sometimes he shoves tissues to me, who is crying nonstop seeing Hikaru’s lifeless body. He doesn’t say anything to calm me or stop me from crying. He doesn’t try to cheer me up too. All he does is just stand beside me and follows me wherever I go.
Until the time we have to go back, I haven’t stopped crying yet. We run out of tissues, so he hands me his handkerchief. I look at him with my teary eyes, and he just smiles slightly.
“Just use this.”
I receive the handkerchief, and use it to wipe my tears. I can smell his smell from the handkerchief. During the way getting back to Inoo’s house, he hums over and over. His voice is so calming, and not so long after that, I’ve flied to my own world and drifted to sleep, still with face full of tears.
***
The sun always shines to us no matter whether we ask for it or not. The sunlight comes, makes the day brighter. It spreads its light to all people. After rain, the sun shares its light to make a beautiful rainbow for us. It gives us happiness.
So did my taiyou. He spread his lights to the people. He helped everyone who needs for his help. He even didn’t mind to help the people he hadn’t known before. Like what he did to me before. And he gave me happiness that I have never felt before. The biggest happiness in my life maybe. He made my day brighter. And he even let me own his light.
“Kimochiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!” I shout in happiness while stretching both of my arms. I remove some bangs from my forehead. It is blown by the wind.
“You like it darou?” He asks me. I turn my head on him, and give him my widest smile. He stands some feets behind me.
“Still need to ask?” I smirk. He laughs.
“This is my favorite place. Sooooo quiet and calming.” He looks at his surrounding.
I have to agree with him. This small hill is so perfect for the people like me, who loves calm and quiet place. There are some big trees too there. Seemed that Takaki likes this kind of place too.
“When you look at the sky from here, you’ll feel like you own the sky, and can reach it so easily.” I say while looking up to the blue sky. I lift both of my arms, and imagine myself try to reach the sky.
“I often do it. When I was little, my father often brings me here along with my mother, and we have a family picnic here. Since people rarely visit this place, we admit it as our own hill.” He smiles and walks to stand beside me.
“It must be so fun ne, having a family picnic here. Especially when we can admit that it’s our own hill.” I say while laying myself down. “Then we don’t need to bring any mat, because this grass can be the mat. It’s so relax laying here. I think I can sleep here too.”
He sits down beside me.
“Yeah. But the sun sometimes shines too bright, so we must stay under the trees.” He says. I look at him.
“The sun spreads warmness. Just enjoy it. Furthermore, it won’t be too hot here. The combination with the blowing wind makes a perfect weather for relaxing.” I say to him.
“Yeah. That’s true. It can’t be too hot here. It always warm.” He smiles to me. I smile back.
“Ne, Takaki, at the first time I saw you, you’re so dazzling, looks like the taiyou.” I decide to tell him what’s on my mind.
“Eh? Me? Taiyou?”
I nod. “Yeah. You’re like a taiyou. Somehow you look so bright, and it reminds me of the taiyou. At first I thought that it was just because of your loud appearance. But then you spread your lights to all people that you meet, not just to the people you’ve known. Remember the first time we met? You drove me to Hikaru’s house, although we haven’t known each other formally yet. Looks like the taiyou ne. Spreads the sunlights to all people without choosing.”
I close my eyes. I regret my own statement. Honestly, I want that light just for myself. I want this taiyou to shine only for me. But I know I shouldn’t be egoist. He has his own opinion and own decision. I can’t restrict him.
“I don’t want to be that kind of taiyou.” He slowly says, make me frowns. I open my eyes and look at him.
“Why?”
Takaki smiles and looks at me. My heart beats faster just seeing his smile.
“Because this taiyou wants to shine on you only. Will you accept the offer?”
I stun on my position. Did he read my mind? My heart feels like stop beating this time. I don’t want my ears to play trick on me.
“Wh… what do you mean?” I try my best not to blush.
“Maybe sometimes this taiyou will shine too bright and makes you feel disturbed. But this taiyou promise that he won’t leave you, and keep shining on you whenever and wherever you are, and tries the best to give you happiness.” I swear I see the redness of Takaki’s face, although he said it while looking at his front, refuses to look at my eyes.
My face getting warmer. A tear rolls down my cheek. I don’t know how to describe my feeling right now, because I feel like I’m floating in the sky. It’s just too amazing to be described. I smile widely, and sit properly.
“Honestly ne, I want the taiyou for myself only because I love the taiyou.” I say with a red face. Takaki immediately look at me with his eyes opened wide. I smile softly to him. Then slowly, his shocked face becomes smoother. He smiles back to me.
He doesn’t say any word again, but just moves his face closer to me to catch my lips with his own lips. We share our first kiss with the sun as the witness.
***
The taiyou never made me disturbed with his light. Yeah, sometimes he shined too bright, or shared the light with other people, and it made me jealous. But it wasn’t more than his kindness. I know from the bottom of my heart, that he’d keep his promise.
But then, I found a time when he shined too bright again, but in the different way.
“I hate rain.” I pout, still sit on my seat beside Yuya. “It make us can do nothing but stay in this car until the rain stops.”
We suppose to have a picnic in the small hill, when suddenly it rains heavily. I’ve been waiting for a week to have a picnic with Yuya.
“Shou ga nai naa*.” Yuya sighs. “Let’s wait until the rain stop. It’s too danger to go home too in this kind of situation.” He adds.
I nod, still with pout formed in my lips. He turns his head and looks at me. He laughs.
“You surely look like a penguin this way. I understand why Yabu and Inoo want to have you as their pet.” He teases me. I send my death glare to him. But still pouting, I turn my head again, facing the front side.
Yuya shakes his head. Swiftly, he holds my cheek, turns my head to face him, and kiss me on my pouted lips. I close my eyes and enjoy the kiss. The he pulls away, but still his lips just 5 centimeters away from mine. He looks me intently.
“Your pouting lips invite me to kiss it.” He says. I chuckles.
“Just say that you want to kiss me.” I stuck my tongue out.
He uses that chance to catch my tongue with his lips, and let it dances with his own tongue. Slowly, he pushes my tongue back to my mouth, and invades my hot cavern with his tongue. His right arm holds my head, makes the kiss deeper. This is the most passionate kiss we ever had.
I don’t know how can we end up like this, but he made me moved to the back seat with him, and he shares his light again with me, in a new different way. He let me be a part of him, and I let him be a part of me too. He looks so bright this time, that I can’t resist him.
And I give him my virginity.
After some moments full of moans, I rest my head on his bare chest, still panting.
“Tired…” I mumble. He just caresses my head softly. His touch is full of love, I can feel it. I can’t forget the warmness on my cheek too.
Then he taps my arm.
“Look! We don’t realize that the rain has stopped.”
I look at the outside, and he’s right. the rain has stopped.
“Wow. How can we didn’t realize it?”
“Because you moaned too loud before.” He teases me. I pout.
“You did it too rough. That hurts!” I protest. He laughs.
“I’ve held myself since the first time we kiss, Dai-chan. And this time I can’t resist it again.” I blush. He surely loves teasing me with his words. I look at the outside again.
“Ah, rainbow! Suteki!” I can’t help myself but smiling widely seeing this scenery. He looks at the outside too, and smiles.
“How about having our postponed picnic now? There’s still some hours before the dawn comes.” He suggests. I nod happily.
Then we put on our clothes again, and having our picnic there. If we have limited happiness in our life, I’m sure I’ve spent all of it today.
***
Will the sun run out of the light?
If it shares the light everyday to the people, it means that someday it will stop to shine, because it has no more light.
What about my taiyou?
Yeah, taiyou is still a taiyou.
It has been a week since our last picnic. Yuya has to go to another town to accompany his father meeting an important client. His father wants him to learn how to facing clients and make a deal with them. So he said that maybe he’d be busy for this week that he maybe can’t call me.
I respect his family life, and I will wait patiently until he comes back here.
Today is supposed to be his return day. I can’t wait to see him. As soon as we meet, I’ll kiss him straightly and hugs him tight. I miss him so much. He said that he’ll call me as soon as he reaches his house, and then go to my house.
I sit on my bed, with my phone in my hand. I can’t wait him to call me.
Then my phone buzzes. Excitedly, I pick it without seeing who calls me. It must be Yuya!
“Yuya!” I shout happily.
“Owh, Dai-chan, zannen, but it’s me.” I hear Yabu’s voice instead. I sigh in disappointed.
“Ah, nani?”
“I’ll pick you up and take you to Yuya. He’s come back but he can’t go to your house. So I’ll get you to his place instead. Okay?” I frowns, but then agree.
“Okay.”
Then Yabu hang up the phone. My mind is full of Yuya now. Is he sick? Maybe he was too busy, and forced himself too hard. I should stay beside him then.
I change my clothes, and wait for Yabu in front of my house. Inoo has succeeded to force him learning how to drive. He has had a car from a year ago, but since he didn’t know how to drive, his father used it instead.
Not too long after that, Yabu appears in front of my house.
“Let’s go.” He says that starts the engine.
“Where is Inoo?” I ask him.
“He’s in Yuya’s place, waiting for us.” Yabu says, looks at the front. I just nod.
But then I feel familiar with the direction Yabu brings me. It’s the way to the small hill, our favorite place! I start to think that Yuya actually wants to give me a surprise there. I smile if wondering what will Yuya give to me. But actually, just with his presence, I can feel I’m the happiest person in this world.
We’ve reached the field that located about 50 meters from the peak. Yuya usually parks his car here, and then we’ll walk to the peak while holding hands.
“Ne, let’s meet Yuya.” Yabu says.
I excitedly walk fast. I can’t wait to meet him again. But when I reach the place where we usually lay ourselves in, I just see Inoo.
“Eh? Inoo? Where’s Yuya?” I ask him. He smiles weakly.
“Kocchi.”
I walk closer to him, but then see no one. But when I follow Inoo’s gaze, I freeze on my spot. There, under the big tree, there’s a grave. The only grave there. And the name written in that…
“He had an accident as soon as he reached the meeting place. He wanted to across the street when suddenly a car with a drunken driver hit him. Although his father had brought him to the hospital, he can’t be saved. He runs out of blood.” Yabu appears behind me and explains it.
I fall down beside the grave. I caress the name that carved there. Takaki Yuya.
“His family decided to bury him here since it’s his favorite place. They kept the news from the others because his parents are still too shocked. They told me this morning, and asked me to tell you. Seemed that Yuya intend to introduce you to his family as soon as he come back. He had told his parents that he has you as his boyfriend though.”
I can’t hear Yabu’s explanation again because my mind is full of Yuya, and I can’t think of something else again. Still no words come from my mouth. Inoo hugs me tight with his face full of tears, and Yabu stands beside me.
My taiyou has run out of his light, and left me alone. How many times I pray, he won’t shine again. How many times I whisper ‘I love you’, he won’t come back to say the same words to me. And how many times I ask for his light, he won’t give it to me again.
***
I lay myself on the grass, like what I used to do with Yuya. Look up at the sky, I find that the sun still shines brightly. I smile, and caressed my neck to search for my necklace. I look at it. A necklace with a small sun-shaped ornament hang on it. It also has my name written on it.
This is the present that Yuya had prepared for me. He has the same necklace for himself too.
I sit again, and lean myself to the side of the grave.
“Ne Yuya, look. The sun above there is still shining over us. No need to worry about the light again.” I caresses his name that written there. Yeah, maybe he won’t shine on me again. He has run out of his light.
I close my eyes, and recall my memories about you. For me, the dazzling you is still my taiyou. My only taiyou. I don’t care if you don’t have your light again. You always shine on my heart. My memories about you will always shine with no one could erase it.
“You’re still my only taiyou.” I whisper it near the grave, although I know he won’t hear me again.
At our first meeting, you were dazzling
At our confession, you became my dazzling taiyou
As we share our first kiss, you were still dazzling
At our first time together, you were still dazzling
And now, although we’re separated, you’re still my dazzling taiyou
目を閉じて、思い出す
眩しいあなたは私の太陽
END
*taiyou : sun
*shou ga nai : it can’t be helped
A/N : I hope you like it.. I'm failed at angst... T^T
Suddenly my friend asked me to make a fic with ending based on her story.
I enhanced it with my favorite song, KOKIA - WATASHI NO TAIYOU XDDDD