No hard feelings...
Long day. Had class 12-2, then worked 2-5. Then had to go back to NPC for an employee meeting.
Recently i have been trying to cover the shittyness that i have been feeling inside. I feel like no matter what i do, right when i feel like everything is finally right, i get shafted for no reason. Its like a fun game guys like to play..."Lets make Corey feel good, then shatter her heart into a million pieces." Maybe its my own damn fault and i shouldnt put myself in situations where i can be hurt. Maybe there are no nice guys. They seem to all be the same to me. I dont want to hear any..."aw corey youll be ok" crap. Cus right now, i am not ok.
I just dont understand how someone can care about another person and then just stop caring. If one can turn off feelings that fast, they never really cared at all. I guess thats what hurts me the most. Yes i am hurt. I am very hurt. I have perfect reason to be upset about all this. It doesnt seem fair that i have to walk around everyday and plaster a fake smile on my face and you get to just live life. I wonder if it would make me feel better to say mean things or try and hurt you. But thats not what i want. The last thing i want to do is hurt you. But i am not going to beat myself up about this. I will be ok...all in time.
Recently i have been trying to cover the shittyness that i have been feeling inside. I feel like no matter what i do, right when i feel like everything is finally right, i get shafted for no reason. Its like a fun game guys like to play..."Lets make Corey feel good, then shatter her heart into a million pieces." Maybe its my own damn fault and i shouldnt put myself in situations where i can be hurt. Maybe there are no nice guys. They seem to all be the same to me. I dont want to hear any..."aw corey youll be ok" crap. Cus right now, i am not ok.
I just dont understand how someone can care about another person and then just stop caring. If one can turn off feelings that fast, they never really cared at all. I guess thats what hurts me the most. Yes i am hurt. I am very hurt. I have perfect reason to be upset about all this. It doesnt seem fair that i have to walk around everyday and plaster a fake smile on my face and you get to just live life. I wonder if it would make me feel better to say mean things or try and hurt you. But thats not what i want. The last thing i want to do is hurt you. But i am not going to beat myself up about this. I will be ok...all in time.