Ha livejournal. I forgot my username.
Okay. I think livejournal is pretty stupid, but I feel like venting and for me this is pretty anonymous.
I'm getting the feeling of being stuck in a box again. I love the people I hang out with, but some of them I have seen everyday for the last forever and its beginning to bother me.
Tonight at their house, I noticed little things that used to happen long ago with one of them. We were making little remarks that we knew would get on each others' nerves and I knew it wouldn't stop, so I left.
Now I am at a weird point. I notice they're all getting on my nerves like crazy and they have noticed as well. I think I am going to spend some time away from my group.
Ahhhh, breakthrough. So tomorrow night is night that I will most likely see girl whom I think is cute. I will go and mack? No, I don't mack and I should probably get to know this girl opposed to jumping in and boning. She seems really nice, too.
One day I saw her canvassing outside a co-op. It was such a hot day and I was super sweaty because I was riding my bike all over on errands. I talked to her for a little bit and invited her to come hang out later. I was super self conscious about how sweaty I was - I was ridiculously sweaty. It was a really cliche hipster moment in my eyes. I hope she thinks I'm cute.
Hmmm, but its hard to make that first move into something. Sleeping with the person the first night makes it so much easier because.... its so intimate, I guess.
Okay, so here's the plan. I'll go tomorrow night... dammit i keep getting stuck at inviting her over to my place in my head and that definitely means sex. Okay, this will be a practice of restraint on my part. WE WILL NOT HAVE SEX.
Hang on, I have talked to her a couple times before and nothing has happened. Ahh, but now I actually know her name and know her somewhat.
Wait!!!! That means that if I did have sex with her it wouldn't be sex on the first night, thus I will not be a sleazeball boning her right off the bat aaaaaaaaaaand I don't even know that sex will happen so in that case it would be even better. Hot dog!
Okay, well this seems like a pretty good plan, but things never happen as I expect them to so I need a backup plan.
OHHH, SHIT!! I got it. If things don't work as planned, and I don't end up running for cover from the girls place via spending time with cutie mcCutegirl, then I'll hang out with ravester friend(haha i am soo good at coding my life). OH MAN, then I may see urine drinker boy who I think I may have a slight mancrush on. Wow, life could get crazy; especially if he is gay because that would mean he wants me aaaaand I have a mancrush on him. He is one boy I might actually kiss. Not too many exist. I don't even know why. He's not Kevin Barnes sexy... maybe a little like Jason Schwartzman.
TIME OUT FOR CUTE HAIKU I JUST THOUGHT OF.
Sometimes I think death
Is surely upon us all
Then I see your smile
AND TIME IN...
Anyways, that's one thing that also bothers me about the girls. They always try to discuss my sexuality with me. It's no little secret that I find some men attractive, but there are so many other things that play into attractiveness to me that lie totally outside sex of a person. Also, I don't really hang out with any men that I find attractive. It's very far and few. They definitely exist, though. When I see them I don't fantasize, though; I'd prefer just to stare at them. Maybe it is envy or something of the sort.
Haha one comes to mind right now. I was on the bus and he had dark hair and perfect facial hair. I took many glances. Haha. I wouldn't want to kiss a boy with facial hair, though. I have really gross memories of kissing girls and feeling facial hair. It may have been my own, but I don't think so because my facial hair was pretty long stubble (for me) the other night with French girl and everything about that was smooth. Awww, shit.
She was the only girl who I actually enjoyed eating out. Her skin was exceptionally smooth and the fact that it was hot as hell made us extremely sweaty, therefore even smoother. Another thing that made her sexy was how she did subtle things that made me know she wanted me and once initiated... I guess how she took control. Being wanted is probably my biggest turn on.
OOOOOH, speaking of which, girl who made it very apparent that she wanted me one night and had a b/f, who I knew, was at the girl's house tonight. Kind of awkward since we hadn't really talked since then and that was the first night I had met her.
It was a crazy night. I drank and smoked a lot and did a baby line, resulting in me being in love with the world and being twitchy all fucking night. Anyways, later in the night she said something about me being a cute boy to me and I said I knew and then got in uber killzone I'm going to so do this girl mode and then she said those words I hate to hear: I have a boyfriend. When the boyfriend is in the country that is not okay and after she consulted someone to see if what she was going to do was okay I was told that her b/f was someone I knew, which made it even worse. Damn world being a massive cockblock and not letting me get any. French girl made up for it, though, and her b/f is a really cool guy (almost typed dude, I just couldn't bring myself to though). Go me and making a good decision there.
It's debatable whether I should have done the French girl thing because apparently the girl she was staying with had told me that I should not have. I have little to no recollection of being seriously told not to. She is quite pissed at me because of it now. I don't understand why, though. French girl did have a b/f, but the different country rule applies. If the girl I was dating had sex with people from different countries, I would be okay with it... assuming I was not there. Wait, then we could have a foreignorgy. Best word ever, btw. Her reasoning was that she told me not to and she felt that I was disrespecting her and that the girl was her childhood friend. I thought she was being sarcastic and have a vague memory of her saying anything whatsoever. Also, we were booty dance drunk. It was definitely not premeditated. Dumb bitches.
At least I got my roughly quarterly no work whatsoever sex. I'm glad that I have that superpower. I need to quit trying to get some. Its my most effective strategy.
I think I'm going to leave now. Wish me cute girls and I wish the same to you.
I'm getting the feeling of being stuck in a box again. I love the people I hang out with, but some of them I have seen everyday for the last forever and its beginning to bother me.
Tonight at their house, I noticed little things that used to happen long ago with one of them. We were making little remarks that we knew would get on each others' nerves and I knew it wouldn't stop, so I left.
Now I am at a weird point. I notice they're all getting on my nerves like crazy and they have noticed as well. I think I am going to spend some time away from my group.
Ahhhh, breakthrough. So tomorrow night is night that I will most likely see girl whom I think is cute. I will go and mack? No, I don't mack and I should probably get to know this girl opposed to jumping in and boning. She seems really nice, too.
One day I saw her canvassing outside a co-op. It was such a hot day and I was super sweaty because I was riding my bike all over on errands. I talked to her for a little bit and invited her to come hang out later. I was super self conscious about how sweaty I was - I was ridiculously sweaty. It was a really cliche hipster moment in my eyes. I hope she thinks I'm cute.
Hmmm, but its hard to make that first move into something. Sleeping with the person the first night makes it so much easier because.... its so intimate, I guess.
Okay, so here's the plan. I'll go tomorrow night... dammit i keep getting stuck at inviting her over to my place in my head and that definitely means sex. Okay, this will be a practice of restraint on my part. WE WILL NOT HAVE SEX.
Hang on, I have talked to her a couple times before and nothing has happened. Ahh, but now I actually know her name and know her somewhat.
Wait!!!! That means that if I did have sex with her it wouldn't be sex on the first night, thus I will not be a sleazeball boning her right off the bat aaaaaaaaaaand I don't even know that sex will happen so in that case it would be even better. Hot dog!
Okay, well this seems like a pretty good plan, but things never happen as I expect them to so I need a backup plan.
OHHH, SHIT!! I got it. If things don't work as planned, and I don't end up running for cover from the girls place via spending time with cutie mcCutegirl, then I'll hang out with ravester friend(haha i am soo good at coding my life). OH MAN, then I may see urine drinker boy who I think I may have a slight mancrush on. Wow, life could get crazy; especially if he is gay because that would mean he wants me aaaaand I have a mancrush on him. He is one boy I might actually kiss. Not too many exist. I don't even know why. He's not Kevin Barnes sexy... maybe a little like Jason Schwartzman.
TIME OUT FOR CUTE HAIKU I JUST THOUGHT OF.
Sometimes I think death
Is surely upon us all
Then I see your smile
AND TIME IN...
Anyways, that's one thing that also bothers me about the girls. They always try to discuss my sexuality with me. It's no little secret that I find some men attractive, but there are so many other things that play into attractiveness to me that lie totally outside sex of a person. Also, I don't really hang out with any men that I find attractive. It's very far and few. They definitely exist, though. When I see them I don't fantasize, though; I'd prefer just to stare at them. Maybe it is envy or something of the sort.
Haha one comes to mind right now. I was on the bus and he had dark hair and perfect facial hair. I took many glances. Haha. I wouldn't want to kiss a boy with facial hair, though. I have really gross memories of kissing girls and feeling facial hair. It may have been my own, but I don't think so because my facial hair was pretty long stubble (for me) the other night with French girl and everything about that was smooth. Awww, shit.
She was the only girl who I actually enjoyed eating out. Her skin was exceptionally smooth and the fact that it was hot as hell made us extremely sweaty, therefore even smoother. Another thing that made her sexy was how she did subtle things that made me know she wanted me and once initiated... I guess how she took control. Being wanted is probably my biggest turn on.
OOOOOH, speaking of which, girl who made it very apparent that she wanted me one night and had a b/f, who I knew, was at the girl's house tonight. Kind of awkward since we hadn't really talked since then and that was the first night I had met her.
It was a crazy night. I drank and smoked a lot and did a baby line, resulting in me being in love with the world and being twitchy all fucking night. Anyways, later in the night she said something about me being a cute boy to me and I said I knew and then got in uber killzone I'm going to so do this girl mode and then she said those words I hate to hear: I have a boyfriend. When the boyfriend is in the country that is not okay and after she consulted someone to see if what she was going to do was okay I was told that her b/f was someone I knew, which made it even worse. Damn world being a massive cockblock and not letting me get any. French girl made up for it, though, and her b/f is a really cool guy (almost typed dude, I just couldn't bring myself to though). Go me and making a good decision there.
It's debatable whether I should have done the French girl thing because apparently the girl she was staying with had told me that I should not have. I have little to no recollection of being seriously told not to. She is quite pissed at me because of it now. I don't understand why, though. French girl did have a b/f, but the different country rule applies. If the girl I was dating had sex with people from different countries, I would be okay with it... assuming I was not there. Wait, then we could have a foreignorgy. Best word ever, btw. Her reasoning was that she told me not to and she felt that I was disrespecting her and that the girl was her childhood friend. I thought she was being sarcastic and have a vague memory of her saying anything whatsoever. Also, we were booty dance drunk. It was definitely not premeditated. Dumb bitches.
At least I got my roughly quarterly no work whatsoever sex. I'm glad that I have that superpower. I need to quit trying to get some. Its my most effective strategy.
I think I'm going to leave now. Wish me cute girls and I wish the same to you.