(no subject)
God, my week just keeps gettin worse and worse.
Today at work, we RAN OUT OF MONEY. Thats right, we used up all of our supply of money. It was the logest day of myl ife. I went thru like 50,000 dollars in cash. WE have no money left at all for sat or sunday now!! Who knows whats gonna happen.
Then theres the triple-overtime shadow game, where we LOST. that sucked. Afterwards me, court, and bria were supposed to hang out like we used to be they ended up wanting to hang out with great, zach, ryan, steve and them, and i feel sso out of place with them around. It sucks cause now i feel like i cant have any of my old guy friends without it being weird, andim gonna lose my girls now too. Everything in my whole world is unravelling at once, and the four people in my life that have kept me going all this time are slowly drifting away, and it terrifies me.
I feel like I am gonna cry. But not at the same time. I am just feeling more alone that i have in a long time. Justl ike when i was at thunderbird but things are different now. I stll have times where i feel like im on the top of the world. But then again... i dont really fit it still in a way. I hate having girl friends in that I alienate myself from being one of the guys (specially after finding out all this shit ive been hearing), and I can never be one of "the girls". So when my two best friends are out flirting with all the guys... where does that leave me?
Alone agan.
Today at work, we RAN OUT OF MONEY. Thats right, we used up all of our supply of money. It was the logest day of myl ife. I went thru like 50,000 dollars in cash. WE have no money left at all for sat or sunday now!! Who knows whats gonna happen.
Then theres the triple-overtime shadow game, where we LOST. that sucked. Afterwards me, court, and bria were supposed to hang out like we used to be they ended up wanting to hang out with great, zach, ryan, steve and them, and i feel sso out of place with them around. It sucks cause now i feel like i cant have any of my old guy friends without it being weird, andim gonna lose my girls now too. Everything in my whole world is unravelling at once, and the four people in my life that have kept me going all this time are slowly drifting away, and it terrifies me.
I feel like I am gonna cry. But not at the same time. I am just feeling more alone that i have in a long time. Justl ike when i was at thunderbird but things are different now. I stll have times where i feel like im on the top of the world. But then again... i dont really fit it still in a way. I hate having girl friends in that I alienate myself from being one of the guys (specially after finding out all this shit ive been hearing), and I can never be one of "the girls". So when my two best friends are out flirting with all the guys... where does that leave me?
Alone agan.