Fic
From Fashionista's suggestion about "A character beats a computer virus"
The Wire, early in Pres' school year.
In Which A Character Smites A Computer Virus
Pres couldn’t believe it when he heard the familiar, yet incongruously New York voice filled his message box. “Look, Pres, I know we never got along or nothing like that, but my computer is*fucked* It fucking talks and sings all night long. And I don’t want to say that Marimow is up my ass, but I think I saw him putting on a rubber glove in the hallway.”
“I’ll take a look at it.” Pres promised. “After three today.”
“C’mon, man, you used to be a brother…don’t leave me hangin.”
“Look, I understand, but I’m a teacher now. What kind of example would I be if I just bailed?”
“Like McNulty.” In spite of himself, Pres laughed.
“Isn’t there anyone there who could look at it?”
“Look at it, sure. If Jimmy forwards one of those fucked-up links, yeah, but you’re the only one that is worth a shit at making the shit work. Look, dude, I’m like…prostate in front of you here. Like on my knees begging and shit.”
“Oh, *prostrate*. You don’t have to do that. I feel you. I’ll be there.”
“The part that kills me is how stupid this shit makes me look.”
“You’re not stupid,” Pres said, feeling very confident behind the computer screen as always. “You just didn’t know that what happens out there”…he gestured at the teeming city streets, “Can happen in here, too.” He pointed to the computer and clicked some keys.
“Motherfucker.” Herc said.
“Exactly. The internet can be like our own little Western.”
“I wish. I could get in there and crack some nerd skulls.”
“I’m sure even Bill Gates would have to give in to Western District justice.”
“Damn right.”
“Of course, a lot of these problems could be avoided if the department had listened to my memo and installed Firefox. It’s much more hack-proof…”
“You know, when you get going like that, regular people’s eyes glaze over, right?”
“Sorry. I don’t talk to many adults during the day anymore.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Okay. Shoot.” Pres winced as both men’s eyes were dragged, as if by tractor beam to Pres’ old bullet hole.
“This is a personal kinda one, though.”
“Okay?”
“How do you end up with Valchek as a father-in-law and like…negative traction in the department?”
“Easy. Valchek is a prick.” Pres checked on his file download. “Not that I was exactly confidence-inspiring.If Computer Crimes was around when I started out, I’d be doing that… Identity theft.”
“Yay…whole shifts fighting junkies for mailboxes. I can see why you missed that. Oh, Carver owes me five bucks. He said you couldn’t swear.”
“Why would he say that?”
“Why? Cause you’re fucking blushing cause you said “prick”
“ I don’t know… maybe I should ask for advice. Is Fuzzy Dunlop still available?”
The Wire, early in Pres' school year.
In Which A Character Smites A Computer Virus
Pres couldn’t believe it when he heard the familiar, yet incongruously New York voice filled his message box. “Look, Pres, I know we never got along or nothing like that, but my computer is*fucked* It fucking talks and sings all night long. And I don’t want to say that Marimow is up my ass, but I think I saw him putting on a rubber glove in the hallway.”
“I’ll take a look at it.” Pres promised. “After three today.”
“C’mon, man, you used to be a brother…don’t leave me hangin.”
“Look, I understand, but I’m a teacher now. What kind of example would I be if I just bailed?”
“Like McNulty.” In spite of himself, Pres laughed.
“Isn’t there anyone there who could look at it?”
“Look at it, sure. If Jimmy forwards one of those fucked-up links, yeah, but you’re the only one that is worth a shit at making the shit work. Look, dude, I’m like…prostate in front of you here. Like on my knees begging and shit.”
“Oh, *prostrate*. You don’t have to do that. I feel you. I’ll be there.”
“The part that kills me is how stupid this shit makes me look.”
“You’re not stupid,” Pres said, feeling very confident behind the computer screen as always. “You just didn’t know that what happens out there”…he gestured at the teeming city streets, “Can happen in here, too.” He pointed to the computer and clicked some keys.
“Motherfucker.” Herc said.
“Exactly. The internet can be like our own little Western.”
“I wish. I could get in there and crack some nerd skulls.”
“I’m sure even Bill Gates would have to give in to Western District justice.”
“Damn right.”
“Of course, a lot of these problems could be avoided if the department had listened to my memo and installed Firefox. It’s much more hack-proof…”
“You know, when you get going like that, regular people’s eyes glaze over, right?”
“Sorry. I don’t talk to many adults during the day anymore.”
“Can I ask you a question?”
“Okay. Shoot.” Pres winced as both men’s eyes were dragged, as if by tractor beam to Pres’ old bullet hole.
“This is a personal kinda one, though.”
“Okay?”
“How do you end up with Valchek as a father-in-law and like…negative traction in the department?”
“Easy. Valchek is a prick.” Pres checked on his file download. “Not that I was exactly confidence-inspiring.If Computer Crimes was around when I started out, I’d be doing that… Identity theft.”
“Yay…whole shifts fighting junkies for mailboxes. I can see why you missed that. Oh, Carver owes me five bucks. He said you couldn’t swear.”
“Why would he say that?”
“Why? Cause you’re fucking blushing cause you said “prick”
“ I don’t know… maybe I should ask for advice. Is Fuzzy Dunlop still available?”