Salome, Chris, and the worst Suikoden het fanfiction the world has yet seen...
So I finally decided to take a look at that horrible Salome raping (!) Chris fic over on suikosnark. (It’s the first fic down; I won’t link to the horrid thing but if you must - and I STONGLY caution you against it - if you must check it out, it is there.) And you know what? It sucks. It suck-diddly-ucks. It sucka-sucka-sucka-sucks so much than I think anyone who claims Suikoden fanfiction is OMG SO HOMOPHOBIC need not fear because this fic probably tops the story with Scottish! Miklotov being raped by Gorudo as the worst Suikoden fanfic. (Believe it or not, there's even more to this story, which can be found here for the truly damned curious. Be warned that I take no responsibility SHOULD YOU CHOOSE TO CLICK THAT LINK, up to, including, and beyond an aversion of scottish accents, fear of kilts, severe emotional trauma, or total mind melt after reading about Gorudo talking about someone making Miklotov "wet." The original links are gone but Google cache keeps the badfic alive.). Actually I take that back - Iztayul put in random bad scottish accents, which is WTF? enough that it might surpass the Salome/Chris rapefic. Of course, even Izzy didn't snap someone's neck during orgasm so perhaps they even out after all...)
It is the first story I have seen fail on almost every level (save grammar/spelling/vocab, which is mostly OK save for a confusing moment when Salome stops to remove his trousers and his pants. Appearantly it was cold out that morning.) It's completely out of character - neither Salome nor Chris would ever act that way. The plot isn't particularily entertaining - Salome confesses his love for Chris, Chris bursts out laughing, Salome produces wind rune and makes Chris go to sleep, Salome rapes (and kills) Chris. And worse of all for smut!fic, it isn't erotic. At all. It is, in fact, anti-erotic. And I think a lot of that deals with the fact it's rapefic - fetish fiction is automatically limiting for one (for example, probabably only 1 in 100 people really want to have their smut focusing on the character's feet), but on top of that, rape just isn't really something which I can find exciting. (mergle wrote a wonderful piece a couple days ago on the same fic about rape! pr0n and why it's not erotic in the slightest.) And the sex is just so ridiculously written, that you can't even take it seriously - someone in the suikosnark thread mentioned it being like that Mario humping Peach "1up" gif that's been going around the internet, and you know what? That's exactly the image I get in mind, too. Definately not what you want your audience to be conjuring up if your mood is meant to be sexy! And the death is just...unbelievable. I mean, is that even possible? *tsks* Very WTF.
On another note, I apologize for being a bit scarce and behind lately. My sinus/allergies have been doing a one two punch on me this year that's particularily bad, and being on the computer hurts my head even more. I think I might have to buckle down and go to the doctors. >_< I promise I will catch up.
And, on another note, if Rove really did out a federal agent working undercover, then I really, really hope he gets called on it, because that is just despicable. Treasonous, even.
It is the first story I have seen fail on almost every level (save grammar/spelling/vocab, which is mostly OK save for a confusing moment when Salome stops to remove his trousers and his pants. Appearantly it was cold out that morning.) It's completely out of character - neither Salome nor Chris would ever act that way. The plot isn't particularily entertaining - Salome confesses his love for Chris, Chris bursts out laughing, Salome produces wind rune and makes Chris go to sleep, Salome rapes (and kills) Chris. And worse of all for smut!fic, it isn't erotic. At all. It is, in fact, anti-erotic. And I think a lot of that deals with the fact it's rapefic - fetish fiction is automatically limiting for one (for example, probabably only 1 in 100 people really want to have their smut focusing on the character's feet), but on top of that, rape just isn't really something which I can find exciting. (mergle wrote a wonderful piece a couple days ago on the same fic about rape! pr0n and why it's not erotic in the slightest.) And the sex is just so ridiculously written, that you can't even take it seriously - someone in the suikosnark thread mentioned it being like that Mario humping Peach "1up" gif that's been going around the internet, and you know what? That's exactly the image I get in mind, too. Definately not what you want your audience to be conjuring up if your mood is meant to be sexy! And the death is just...unbelievable. I mean, is that even possible? *tsks* Very WTF.
On another note, I apologize for being a bit scarce and behind lately. My sinus/allergies have been doing a one two punch on me this year that's particularily bad, and being on the computer hurts my head even more. I think I might have to buckle down and go to the doctors. >_< I promise I will catch up.
And, on another note, if Rove really did out a federal agent working undercover, then I really, really hope he gets called on it, because that is just despicable. Treasonous, even.