We lost a pawn
The first thought we always have is how do we fix this mess for ourselves. Without the peanut gallery we were able to talk on our own and I realized looking at her that we are exactly the same. Except that I am still considering the possibility of not being a piece of machinery.
The people that leave, get fired or quit are just a consequence. We have to fix it, and keep the wheel rolling. And I am happy if I can feel that tiny bit of control. I can't make a real difference but I can run and keep running.
I am not sure at all what lays ahead of me in my life. I am sure that I am caught in the ugly phase of change in that organization, but as to whether I can actually circumnavigate the maze to my cheese is completely uncertain. Most nights I fall asleep wondering if I am just completely helpless.
People look at me with respect, with friendship, but I constantly wonder if they realize that I am just trying to survive without too much scarring. I am just afraid. I question my ability and value and I smile showing as much teeth as I can.
A part of me wants to tell the whole story, but there's something here I don't want to lose. Lessons, I think. Disappointment. And a really strong desire to put it all behind me.
I still don't really know anything. I never really took a stand. But I plan on moving forward anyway.
The people that leave, get fired or quit are just a consequence. We have to fix it, and keep the wheel rolling. And I am happy if I can feel that tiny bit of control. I can't make a real difference but I can run and keep running.
I am not sure at all what lays ahead of me in my life. I am sure that I am caught in the ugly phase of change in that organization, but as to whether I can actually circumnavigate the maze to my cheese is completely uncertain. Most nights I fall asleep wondering if I am just completely helpless.
People look at me with respect, with friendship, but I constantly wonder if they realize that I am just trying to survive without too much scarring. I am just afraid. I question my ability and value and I smile showing as much teeth as I can.
A part of me wants to tell the whole story, but there's something here I don't want to lose. Lessons, I think. Disappointment. And a really strong desire to put it all behind me.
I still don't really know anything. I never really took a stand. But I plan on moving forward anyway.