First Memory
Title: Reminiscing Hearts
Author: Jen
Fandom: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: AU, Angst, & Fluff/Romance (More might come along...)
Rating: PG? Or is it PG-13? O__O;;;
Pairings: None in this chapter but this fanfic ish TaDaiki (Just Takaki-centric)
Summary: Memories can be cheerful, sad, painful, strange, and etc...
Notes: Here's uhh... chapter 1 of Reminiscing Hearts! XP AND I'M SO SORRY THAT THIS CHAPTER ISH REALLY BEYOND ANGSTY!!! X___X PLEASE DON'T KILL MEH FOR MAKING HIM SUFFER!!! *SOBS* I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!! This fanfic ish where I let out my depression... And some of these thoughts... umm... they're based on meh. XP Don't worry... I won't do anything drastic. I just thought about them... What kind of first chapter ish angsty??? I PROMISE IT WILL BE ALL BETTER IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! By the way, he's STILL CHIBI/LITTLE!!! Yeah I finally have a summary... Now that's out of the way, HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY ( pain_15 )!!! I hope I got the age right. I dunno if you'll ever read this here... I'll give my greetings to you on CR, too!!! Dai-chan loves youuu!!!
Haha I already had this chapter sitting in my desktop for a long while and I'm done with a bunch of other chapters... I just haven't posted them. *EVIL GLINT* I'm just evil like that. XP I'll probably post chapter 2 really soon... or something...
I still haven't done any freaking homework. Yeah I'm screwed... T__T SOMEONE HELP MOTIVATE ME OR SOMETHING!!! I rather work on fanfics and stuff... *SIGHS*
Oh and never buy 6 magazines that have HSJ in it at once. IT TOTALLY KILLED MY BRAINCELLS AND I TURNED INTO MUSH! XDDD
Disclaimer: I don't think I can ever own Takaki... but if I ever did, I would shove him to Yama-chan. XDDD Oh wait... why am I talking about Yama-chan in a TaDaiki fanfic? No wait... I can get away with it since it's just Takaki centric here. XDDD
Here's the prologue if you haven't read it yet...
Starting Memory
“Tadaima!” Takaki yelled excitedly as he closed the door behind him. He wondered how come no one had welcomed him home and decided to head for the living room. He stopped in his tracks hearing the voices of his parents.
“Have you been having an affair with another man?” asked his dad, politely.
“Of course not, what makes you say that?” his mom answered calmly, eyes on the ground.
His father rolled his eyes. “You have been coming home later than usual and had the scent of cologne. Plus I know we haven’t been on the best terms but that doesn’t mean you can go off and have an affair behind my back!”
“Fine, I admit I had a few dinners with this one guy but I need my freedom. What can’t you understand? Do I need to report to you every single thing I’ve done?! We already had an agreement in the contract. We get divorced once that is old enough. It’s not like I wanted to get married with you. Or have a child,” she added.
“Wait… you can’t really mean that. After all we’ve been through. How could you call your own son, that?”
“Look, in case you didn’t remember, I got pregnant after a one-night stand with you. It was a mistake. Having that was a mistake. He was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Even worse than marrying you! I only got married with you since I had a burden on me and insisted. It was YOUR fault in the first place and-“ she trailed off and tilted her head at the door. Takaki’s father looked and saw his son with unreadable eyes.
Takaki’s expression quickly turned into a hyper one and said, “Tadaima! Guess what, mama and papa? I played with a boy today at the playground!”
His mom was admiring her fingernails; not paying attention to Takaki while his dad was just silent.
“Well, I’m going to go to my room now! Call me when it’s dinner time!” With that, Takaki stalked off and ran off to his room, elatedly, humming a tune. He closed the door to his room quietly and locked it. He plopped onto his bed and lay down on his side.
“I’m a mistake… and a burden for mama… no wonder she never talks or acknowledges me… she… hates…” Takaki bit his lips, trying to think of happy thoughts. But of course, he couldn’t. He kept on remembering what his mom had said… His stomach started to lurch and his heart felt so heavy. “She didn’t mean it…” he told himself even though he knew it wasn’t the truth…
The truth hurts especially when it was spoken aloud. Like someone taking a hold of your heart and squeezing it. It was painful… emotionally. You know that saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?” It’s a bunch of lies. The words will remain a scar in your heart. No matter how hard you try to forget it, it won’t be forgotten.
He tasted a salty substance. Tears flowed out from his eyes. He couldn’t hold them back anymore. Too many feelings were locked inside his heart and this was the trigger… Takaki never cried. Not even when he twisted his ankle or fell hard and bled. He was always optimistic about it because he didn’t want anyone to worry about it. He put on his best smile. People always said his smile was his best feature. But behind the smile was sadness… anger… envy… he didn’t show those feelings… he knew too much… knew reality… the real world out there wasn’t as nice as people described it.
Takaki cried for what seemed like an eternity until he couldn’t cry any more. He got off his bed and looked into the mirror. His eyes were puffed up and nose drippy and red. If one word were to describe him…it would be… lifeless. Like someone had yanked his soul out of his body. It hurt when he blinked. He walked over to his window and gazed at the sky. He started to wonder what would happen if he were to jump over. Would it hurt? Would he die? Would anyone care? He wanted to run away from everything. Dying would take all of his pain away… Takaki felt himself getting pulled into the darkness… the light was starting to fade…
Author: Jen
Fandom: Hey! Say! JUMP
Genre: AU, Angst, & Fluff/Romance (More might come along...)
Rating: PG? Or is it PG-13? O__O;;;
Pairings: None in this chapter but this fanfic ish TaDaiki (Just Takaki-centric)
Summary: Memories can be cheerful, sad, painful, strange, and etc...
Notes: Here's uhh... chapter 1 of Reminiscing Hearts! XP AND I'M SO SORRY THAT THIS CHAPTER ISH REALLY BEYOND ANGSTY!!! X___X PLEASE DON'T KILL MEH FOR MAKING HIM SUFFER!!! *SOBS* I SWEAR I DIDN'T MEAN TO!!! This fanfic ish where I let out my depression... And some of these thoughts... umm... they're based on meh. XP Don't worry... I won't do anything drastic. I just thought about them... What kind of first chapter ish angsty??? I PROMISE IT WILL BE ALL BETTER IN THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! By the way, he's STILL CHIBI/LITTLE!!! Yeah I finally have a summary... Now that's out of the way, HAPPY 17th BIRTHDAY ( pain_15 )!!! I hope I got the age right. I dunno if you'll ever read this here... I'll give my greetings to you on CR, too!!! Dai-chan loves youuu!!!
Haha I already had this chapter sitting in my desktop for a long while and I'm done with a bunch of other chapters... I just haven't posted them. *EVIL GLINT* I'm just evil like that. XP I'll probably post chapter 2 really soon... or something...
I still haven't done any freaking homework. Yeah I'm screwed... T__T SOMEONE HELP MOTIVATE ME OR SOMETHING!!! I rather work on fanfics and stuff... *SIGHS*
Oh and never buy 6 magazines that have HSJ in it at once. IT TOTALLY KILLED MY BRAINCELLS AND I TURNED INTO MUSH! XDDD
Disclaimer: I don't think I can ever own Takaki... but if I ever did, I would shove him to Yama-chan. XDDD Oh wait... why am I talking about Yama-chan in a TaDaiki fanfic? No wait... I can get away with it since it's just Takaki centric here. XDDD
Here's the prologue if you haven't read it yet...
Starting Memory
“Tadaima!” Takaki yelled excitedly as he closed the door behind him. He wondered how come no one had welcomed him home and decided to head for the living room. He stopped in his tracks hearing the voices of his parents.
“Have you been having an affair with another man?” asked his dad, politely.
“Of course not, what makes you say that?” his mom answered calmly, eyes on the ground.
His father rolled his eyes. “You have been coming home later than usual and had the scent of cologne. Plus I know we haven’t been on the best terms but that doesn’t mean you can go off and have an affair behind my back!”
“Fine, I admit I had a few dinners with this one guy but I need my freedom. What can’t you understand? Do I need to report to you every single thing I’ve done?! We already had an agreement in the contract. We get divorced once that is old enough. It’s not like I wanted to get married with you. Or have a child,” she added.
“Wait… you can’t really mean that. After all we’ve been through. How could you call your own son, that?”
“Look, in case you didn’t remember, I got pregnant after a one-night stand with you. It was a mistake. Having that was a mistake. He was the worst thing that ever happened to me. Even worse than marrying you! I only got married with you since I had a burden on me and insisted. It was YOUR fault in the first place and-“ she trailed off and tilted her head at the door. Takaki’s father looked and saw his son with unreadable eyes.
Takaki’s expression quickly turned into a hyper one and said, “Tadaima! Guess what, mama and papa? I played with a boy today at the playground!”
His mom was admiring her fingernails; not paying attention to Takaki while his dad was just silent.
“Well, I’m going to go to my room now! Call me when it’s dinner time!” With that, Takaki stalked off and ran off to his room, elatedly, humming a tune. He closed the door to his room quietly and locked it. He plopped onto his bed and lay down on his side.
“I’m a mistake… and a burden for mama… no wonder she never talks or acknowledges me… she… hates…” Takaki bit his lips, trying to think of happy thoughts. But of course, he couldn’t. He kept on remembering what his mom had said… His stomach started to lurch and his heart felt so heavy. “She didn’t mean it…” he told himself even though he knew it wasn’t the truth…
The truth hurts especially when it was spoken aloud. Like someone taking a hold of your heart and squeezing it. It was painful… emotionally. You know that saying, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me?” It’s a bunch of lies. The words will remain a scar in your heart. No matter how hard you try to forget it, it won’t be forgotten.
He tasted a salty substance. Tears flowed out from his eyes. He couldn’t hold them back anymore. Too many feelings were locked inside his heart and this was the trigger… Takaki never cried. Not even when he twisted his ankle or fell hard and bled. He was always optimistic about it because he didn’t want anyone to worry about it. He put on his best smile. People always said his smile was his best feature. But behind the smile was sadness… anger… envy… he didn’t show those feelings… he knew too much… knew reality… the real world out there wasn’t as nice as people described it.
Takaki cried for what seemed like an eternity until he couldn’t cry any more. He got off his bed and looked into the mirror. His eyes were puffed up and nose drippy and red. If one word were to describe him…it would be… lifeless. Like someone had yanked his soul out of his body. It hurt when he blinked. He walked over to his window and gazed at the sky. He started to wonder what would happen if he were to jump over. Would it hurt? Would he die? Would anyone care? He wanted to run away from everything. Dying would take all of his pain away… Takaki felt himself getting pulled into the darkness… the light was starting to fade…