He's not a terrible person... I promise... LJ just gets the bad days.

[chibifiedzoe]

So I caught him watching porn yesterday. Little bitty girls and stuff again. He started closing windows when he heard me walking up and changed windows, but I would still see "girls" and "models" at the bottom of his screen. Tiled windows are a bitch, aint they? Anyhow, I played it off like nothing happened. He blushed (he never does that) and he

Comments

[bat_scratches]

I totally get it babe. I know I flirt with exes and watch porn when I'm feeling annoyed, jealous, dissatisfied, and that i don't do those things when I'm happy with the person I'm with, and so when I find someone I'm with ogling other girls, especially ones who look nothing like my body type, I wonder, am I not doing it for you? Everyone says, nah, it's just natural for guys to watch porn, go to strip clubs, whatver, but I kinda feel like it's just the lowest form of cheating, getting off on someone else, fantasizing about someone else...it hurts. I do wish I could be one and only, but i think people feel that's asking too much, and we're supposed to be grateful they draw the line at fantasizing. I want to be a cool girlfriend, I don't want to be saying "you can't do this" or that, and i try to keep my jealousies to myself, because i don't want to be "that cunt" "controlling bitch" that get talked about to buddies, I don't want him to do the same things but in addition feel he has to sneak around, lie to me, but it drives me crazy trying to make myself okay with everything lol...