There is no magic wand.
You want to fix everything. I get that. You just want everyone to be happy and for nobody to hurt anymore. I totally get that. I get that because I feel that too. I don't know how many times I've wished for a magic wand I could just wave over people and solve their problems. How many times to do I fantasise about winning the lottery and using the money to pay off my parents debts, buy them a nice little house by the beach like they've always wanted and just make it so they never had to work or worry again. How many things have I written here lamenting the lack of a magic wand, a time machine or the ability to say whatever magic words a distressed loved one's heart longs to hear.
You see people's troubles and you feel powerless. You want to help but feel there's nothing you can do or you try to help but nothing seems to work. It's disheartening. I get that. I have spent and continue to spend so much of my time just trying to help anyone I can. I studied psych with the end goal of helping others. We won't go into how that turned out as it's been done to death in multiple other entries. Now I'm studying audiology. It's a similar deal, though. There is no cure for the majority of cases of hearing loss. You cannot restore normal hearing, only give the person the best substitute you can and strategies to fill in the gaps.
When people have spoken to me about their worries and troubles it has taken me a long time to realise that I am neither required nor expected to provided any kind of 'proper' counseling. You know, the kind I spent 4 years of my life learning about. I realised that the way I used to talk to people, giving my thoughts and opinions along with gentle suggestions if warranted...being honest with people, acknowledging their experience and (if appropriate) showing that empathy by relating to my own experiences, that was ok. That style of talking to people is more honest and genuine than any attempt at a proper counseling method could ever be and that's ok. It still hurts to see others hurt and sometimes I lament the lack of a magic wand so much that I cry but sometimes the only way to stay sane is to accept that there are some things you can't change or fix no matter how much you want to. You can love and pray and hope and try with all your heart but sometimes when things are gone or broken they are gone or broken for good. It sucks. It's gut wrenchingly painful and if you want to cry about it, that's fine we'll cry together. The important thing is the recognise what you can't help or fix but to also realise when there are things you can do. The number of times all I've wanted was a person to listen without interrupting and say something along the lines of "well that sucks. I'm sorry", sometimes that's all you need to do to help. Sometimes people won't or can't acknowledge it but just checking in on them and showing you care is enough to warm their heart and give them the courage to continue to work and fight and fix their own problems.
I guess what I'm saying is that you can't fix everything but often you can support people and help ease their pain which is the next best thing. Sometimes people need to solve their own problems and all you can do is give them a big ol' thumbs up so they know you're behind them. There is no magic wand, time machines may well exist but are a closely kept secret, and the chances of me winning the lottery are essentially 0 given that I don't even play but that doesn't mean that we can't help at all.
You see people's troubles and you feel powerless. You want to help but feel there's nothing you can do or you try to help but nothing seems to work. It's disheartening. I get that. I have spent and continue to spend so much of my time just trying to help anyone I can. I studied psych with the end goal of helping others. We won't go into how that turned out as it's been done to death in multiple other entries. Now I'm studying audiology. It's a similar deal, though. There is no cure for the majority of cases of hearing loss. You cannot restore normal hearing, only give the person the best substitute you can and strategies to fill in the gaps.
When people have spoken to me about their worries and troubles it has taken me a long time to realise that I am neither required nor expected to provided any kind of 'proper' counseling. You know, the kind I spent 4 years of my life learning about. I realised that the way I used to talk to people, giving my thoughts and opinions along with gentle suggestions if warranted...being honest with people, acknowledging their experience and (if appropriate) showing that empathy by relating to my own experiences, that was ok. That style of talking to people is more honest and genuine than any attempt at a proper counseling method could ever be and that's ok. It still hurts to see others hurt and sometimes I lament the lack of a magic wand so much that I cry but sometimes the only way to stay sane is to accept that there are some things you can't change or fix no matter how much you want to. You can love and pray and hope and try with all your heart but sometimes when things are gone or broken they are gone or broken for good. It sucks. It's gut wrenchingly painful and if you want to cry about it, that's fine we'll cry together. The important thing is the recognise what you can't help or fix but to also realise when there are things you can do. The number of times all I've wanted was a person to listen without interrupting and say something along the lines of "well that sucks. I'm sorry", sometimes that's all you need to do to help. Sometimes people won't or can't acknowledge it but just checking in on them and showing you care is enough to warm their heart and give them the courage to continue to work and fight and fix their own problems.
I guess what I'm saying is that you can't fix everything but often you can support people and help ease their pain which is the next best thing. Sometimes people need to solve their own problems and all you can do is give them a big ol' thumbs up so they know you're behind them. There is no magic wand, time machines may well exist but are a closely kept secret, and the chances of me winning the lottery are essentially 0 given that I don't even play but that doesn't mean that we can't help at all.