Free Time Chap. 5

[chhhachie]

Author:Chhhachie
Title: Free Time
Part: 5/??
Pairing: Mark/Sabrina
Summary:A completely pointless day in the lives of Mark and Sabrina, with Derek along for the ride. Includes a new sport, along with mandatory snarky comments. : )
Comments: I think this is the most pointless thing I have ever written. But I'm posting it anyway, because it was fun to

Comments

[fountnofthought]

You=my hero. For serious. That made my night. Annie was right - this is totally inspirational. Where to start?

First of all, this random moments concept is genius. I love getting this glimpse into their normal world, where dumb things like bowling are the order of the day. But so much is happening inside each of these moments! Pointless is the last word I'd use for this. I'd start with awesome. ;-)

She rolled her eyes, but hooked her thumbs into his belt loops anyway, pulling him back towards her, and leaned in. “I’m more of a hands on learner.”
Best. Line. Ever. You hit the description just right, and I could perfectly envision the look she was giving him when she said that!

Every moment with Derek was adorable, of course. He's such a ham. I love that about him.

Derek’s mouth broke into a giant grin. “She’s training you. Like a dog.”

Mark shot him a warning look.

“She’s making you her little- “

Mark reached out and covered Derek’s mouth with his hand, pushing him into the car.

So astute, that Derek! And the timing...glorious, I'm telling ya. And every line after that is so well placed, with lovely diction (Derek 'wailing' was my favorite!). That whole last section wrapped up the piece beautifully.

Now I want to go hang out with them, and it's all your fault. Thanks. ;-)

[chhhachie]

That was actually my exact goal...make these people that we fantasize over be accessible. Like we actually know them!

I even wrote the thing, and I still want to go bowling with them too :)