Tim-Tam Slammin'

[chezshay]

Australia has one great culinary invention to lord over the rest of the world: the Tim-Tam Slam. Deceptively simple in the design, a classic Tim-Tam consists of chocolate creme layered between two plain sugar cookies with a chocolate coating. That's it, but somehow, the 'biscuits' cause people to experience nirvana. By striking the perfect balance between sweetness and bitterness, crunchiness and chewiness, good and evil, every Tim-Tam tastes as if it were the ideal cookie, the platonic concept of a chocolate cookie if you will. It's no wonder Australians are shocked to hear that we don't have them in the States. Life without Tim-Tams is a life stuck in a cave with only mere shadows of the true cookie Form.

But wait, it gets better. The preferred method of consuming these delectable treats involves biting off both ends of Tim-Tam, dipping an end into a cup of hot chocolate or an irish coffee, sucking the hot liquid through the cookie, and right before it falls apart shoving the entire Tim-Tam in one's mouth, moments before it falls apart. The hot liquid melts the chocolate from the inside, turning the Tim-Tam innards into gooey chocolate lava. This amorphous mess of a cookie has been scientifically proven to warm the soul. Osama has surely never had a Tim-Tam Slam.

When I arrive home, please humor me if you see me despondent, hunched over a coffee, in a futile search for an American Tim-Tam equivalent.