Im Finally Free!
I haven't really fucked with this much. I tried to make a new one so I wouldn't have to manually delete all my "using" friends, but I'd have to change my e-mail address... and I like to procrastinate... and avoid certain situations... Rehab was a miracle, plain and simple. I never really thought about it until recently, but I should be dead right now. If not buried 6 ft. under, I should at least be locked away in county. My sister saved my fucking life... though I still question and doubt her motives and resent her vindictive behavior and the fact that she relayed a fallacy to my P.O. without any sort of evidence, substantial or otherwise, to support it. Ugh, its so fucking hard to let go of your resentments. Why must this be so imperative? I don't WANT to release them... It would be so much easier to hide behind them and blame other people for my shitfuck problems that I surrounded myself with than to actually accept the fact that she DOES really love me and she only wants the best for me, despite her mental and emotional instabilities. I guess we're on the same page in that respect... This is the first time I've been able to admit that... I hope she finds a program like A.A. because she seemed so miserable there... All I have to say is that she is in my prayers... For the first time in a long time... I think I miss her.