Already Out of Mind...
He's leaving tomorrow apparently. No one even told me... I mean... not that I really care. It kind of bothers me that I don't. Well, I don't think I care anyway... I'm not sure yet. I don't even know what to think anymore... other than it's over. Whatever it was, it's over... and not because he's leaving, fuck that. It's over cuz damnit, I SAY IT IS! WHAT WAS I THINKING?! Why didn't anyone stop me!?! And there I go blaming everyone but myself for all my problems. It makes things easier. It makes life easier... in a way... and at the same time the translucent veil the "shields" my eyes from my own truth is what's holding me back. I knew there were soooooooooo many many many things wrong with that situation... I just thought I had finally found a person I could in some minute way relate to. I surround myself with friends and yet I'm constantly plagued by depressing visions of isolation. Behold the disease that infects the mind of a teenage girl.
Does my ability to write people off while disregarding any and all feelings make me a cruel, cold-hearted bitch? Or just a survivor. The ability to survive is something that's closely tied with one's capacity to evolve. If you can't adapt to your surrounding in a world in which the only constant is change, than there is no hope of survival... the species will surely die off.
Some people try so hard to be different and only end up losing themselves along the way. This has nothing to do with the rest of my update... It's just a fact... a sad fact that I continue to see proven true time and time again as my friends slowly transform themselves into the things they despise. It's so fucking sad to witness the fall of someone you place on a pedestal towering above everything in your life... because to me... the bonds and friendships I form are one of the most important aspects of my life... and sometimes I can't help but think I'm the only person who thinks that... SOO many people take their friends for granted... SOOOO many people are fake. SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE don't take the time to realize what the meaning of a true friend is... or how to be one for that matter. To truly judge the character of a man, look not to his accomplishments, but to the company he keeps. This statement is so true... and yet such shit. I'm tired of looking out for people. It's not my Goddamm job and all I get is shit in return... a bunch of pissed off people directing their anger at me. Fine, it's none of my business anyway. Figure this shit out on your own... You sure as hell don't need my help in completely fucking yourself over. You're doing a pretty good job yourself.
lol I need to learn how to stay on subject when I'm writing... I need a fuckin' hobby... I need release... I need to breath... I need help.........
Does my ability to write people off while disregarding any and all feelings make me a cruel, cold-hearted bitch? Or just a survivor. The ability to survive is something that's closely tied with one's capacity to evolve. If you can't adapt to your surrounding in a world in which the only constant is change, than there is no hope of survival... the species will surely die off.
Some people try so hard to be different and only end up losing themselves along the way. This has nothing to do with the rest of my update... It's just a fact... a sad fact that I continue to see proven true time and time again as my friends slowly transform themselves into the things they despise. It's so fucking sad to witness the fall of someone you place on a pedestal towering above everything in your life... because to me... the bonds and friendships I form are one of the most important aspects of my life... and sometimes I can't help but think I'm the only person who thinks that... SOO many people take their friends for granted... SOOOO many people are fake. SO MANY FUCKING PEOPLE don't take the time to realize what the meaning of a true friend is... or how to be one for that matter. To truly judge the character of a man, look not to his accomplishments, but to the company he keeps. This statement is so true... and yet such shit. I'm tired of looking out for people. It's not my Goddamm job and all I get is shit in return... a bunch of pissed off people directing their anger at me. Fine, it's none of my business anyway. Figure this shit out on your own... You sure as hell don't need my help in completely fucking yourself over. You're doing a pretty good job yourself.
lol I need to learn how to stay on subject when I'm writing... I need a fuckin' hobby... I need release... I need to breath... I need help.........