Le Happy!
I am so happy. Saturday was one of the best days of my life. I feel as if my skin is the only thing keeping me from going everywhere at once (Ever After).
I woke up a little too cheerful . I knew the day was going to be a good one, because the moment I got up and went outside all groggy eyed, Daniel greeted me yelling, "GOOD MORNING you BEAUTIFUL SON of a BITCH!! That was a vulgar omen of how great my life will be. The weather was gorgeous and I was bouncing as we took our bikes downtown to the Spanish Town Parade. I drank a glass of wine, a couple beers, then a couple shots of Daniel's Jameson. He offered a third shot, and I started to worry that I might be too drunk to go into work. I thought about it for a few minutes while viciously screaming at the floats to give me the fucking beads! I ran up to one guy on a float and asked him nicely if I could have the bead because I loved it. He said, "not until you show me something; what do you have under that shirt?" I replied, "It's a family parade, just give me the bead!" To this he turned his head to some other girl and ignored me. I didn't need his bead anyway. Asshole. Then I got plenty more beads from nicer people. Andrew Keller came by in the parade and put a chain of heart beads around my neck. I was happy. Daniel gave me his rainbow leigh, which made me the happiest person on the earth. I had this crystal clear drunk moment, where I realized that I hate Monjuni's and I didn't want to go. I also realized that I didn't want cheese anymore, something I've been trying to gain since I became vegetarian. I hate fucking serving tables, I hate my boss, I hate animal cruelty, I hate that I've been too insecure to ever do anything bold, and I hate the fact that I've been lukewarm all my life and waiting to be happy instead of just being happy! So I walked away from the noise and called Monjuni's. I asked for my nice boss, Nick. I told Nick that I was too drunk to come into work tonight, and would he please check the schedule to see if I can call anyone to fill in for me. He checked and told me that no one could. I then apologized for getting drunk, and told him that I couldn't work at Monjuni's anymore. He replied "really?" but didn't say a single mean thing, which was awesome. After his assurance that they would be ok that night without me working, I told him how much I was going to miss everyone working there, and that I'll see him later. He was like cool, and that was it. That was the best quitting I've ever done, and I don't regret it. Monjuni's was my 9th job, and my first to quit without a 2 weeks notice. I can't explain how it felt to be free of that shit hole!
I went back to the float to share the news, and Natalie hugged me and gave me her teddy bear. Max hugged me saying "I knew how much you wanted to," and Daniel gave me another shot. After all the floats went by, we went to Aldo's house for a keg. I tackled Andy for a frisbee that Max had thrown me, and in the process cut my finger pretty good. We left and went walking down Spanish Town. I saw a girl with a rainbow chain bead, and I ran up to her and begged her for it. I told her I loved it and would give her 5 bucks for it. She put it around my neck and told me her girlfriend was just making her hold it anyways. She wouldn't even take the 5 bucks! I had asked 4 people before her for a bead that I loved, and they all were mean and selfish! I was so incredibly excited to find someone nice in the world and thanked her a lot. We ran down the street and I met Jaques for the first time. He knew who I was through Andrew Martin, and we talked about what an incredible day it was. We started walking back to Aldo's because Natalie left her phone there, and I came upon an old New Balance shoe. I picked it up and threw it at some girls, almost hitting an old man smack in the face, but he ducked. I walked a few feet and came upon a different abandoned shoe. This blew my mind, so I picked it up and threw it at someone else. In literally three more steps, I came upon an abandoned sandal, which I picked up and threw at someone else. I mean, come on, what are the chances? I don't know, but I was excited about it. We went back to Aldo's and my finger was still bleeding. Aldo's roommate offered me a band aid. He let me wash my cut and gave me a white rag to dab it. He gave me a band aid and one extra just in case I needed it later. Again, I was very happy and amazed that such genuinely nice people existed in the world. I talked to Natalie about Jed, and started crying. I wanted her to know how I thought that her and Jed should be together after she graduates, because they love each other so much and need that chance. I cried because I was happy for her and I was drunk and I'm going to miss her when she moves. Things may not work out, but you can always start over, and we'll always be around. You have to make yourself happy now. It started to rain and we rode our bikes back home with quickness. I was so exhausted from jumping, screaming, and running that I just completely passed out on my stomach. I woke up in my room at 7 pm when Max called me to see what's up. I was almost sobered up, and I remembered quitting and was happy. We went and got some food at Louies and sat down with lots of ketchup and beer. I took an extremely long shower and waited for Natalie and Andrew to come over. We talked until 5 in the morning, and we talked about everything. I probably scared Andrew because I was just bubbling over with happiness and inspiration, whereas he was stuck doing funeral stuff for his girlfriend's grandmother all day. Regardless, I hope he feels better today. I had sent him a text earlier that said that I knew how bad a day it was for him, and that if I could tear up the teddy bear Natalie had given me, which represents my happiness, I would give him a piece and he would be happy. I realize that I will be depresses and in a rut soon, it's inevitable. I realize that I'll probably have to get another shitty job to survive, and that with school in my life, I am not completely free. Right now, though, I feel that freedom is a state of mind, and I'm thriving in it. Some might consider veganism very restricting, but I believe that freedom and self control can go hand-in-hand. I honestly do not want dairy products if they aren't cruelty-free. And that to me feels very free. I don't want to have anything to do with war and cruelty and abuse-if I can't do anything to help the situation I will at least not promote it as much as I can without going insane. I love everyone, and I truly truly hope that I can keep this inspiration up for a bit. I have my resume finished, and I hope to get a better job.
I love everyone. I especially love those that have hurt me, because if they hadn't hurt me, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm so glad that I experienced pain because it makes me appreciate freedom all the more. There's more pain to come, but now I have a goal. I want to do and experience everything that I can.
I had a dream last night that I was driving in my car with Greg's friend (who I am not attracted to AT ALL) and I leaned over and held his hand. He was uncomfortable and swerved off the road into a still river creek thing. We got out into the water and tried to push the car to shore. Others came and helped, but we couldn't push it far enough. Everyone left and I watched my car sink alone.
I woke up with my voice gone, a fever, and a sore throat. I called Kristen to tell her I couldn't go to New Orleans because of my condition, but I am still happy. I'm happy to be home.
I woke up a little too cheerful . I knew the day was going to be a good one, because the moment I got up and went outside all groggy eyed, Daniel greeted me yelling, "GOOD MORNING you BEAUTIFUL SON of a BITCH!! That was a vulgar omen of how great my life will be. The weather was gorgeous and I was bouncing as we took our bikes downtown to the Spanish Town Parade. I drank a glass of wine, a couple beers, then a couple shots of Daniel's Jameson. He offered a third shot, and I started to worry that I might be too drunk to go into work. I thought about it for a few minutes while viciously screaming at the floats to give me the fucking beads! I ran up to one guy on a float and asked him nicely if I could have the bead because I loved it. He said, "not until you show me something; what do you have under that shirt?" I replied, "It's a family parade, just give me the bead!" To this he turned his head to some other girl and ignored me. I didn't need his bead anyway. Asshole. Then I got plenty more beads from nicer people. Andrew Keller came by in the parade and put a chain of heart beads around my neck. I was happy. Daniel gave me his rainbow leigh, which made me the happiest person on the earth. I had this crystal clear drunk moment, where I realized that I hate Monjuni's and I didn't want to go. I also realized that I didn't want cheese anymore, something I've been trying to gain since I became vegetarian. I hate fucking serving tables, I hate my boss, I hate animal cruelty, I hate that I've been too insecure to ever do anything bold, and I hate the fact that I've been lukewarm all my life and waiting to be happy instead of just being happy! So I walked away from the noise and called Monjuni's. I asked for my nice boss, Nick. I told Nick that I was too drunk to come into work tonight, and would he please check the schedule to see if I can call anyone to fill in for me. He checked and told me that no one could. I then apologized for getting drunk, and told him that I couldn't work at Monjuni's anymore. He replied "really?" but didn't say a single mean thing, which was awesome. After his assurance that they would be ok that night without me working, I told him how much I was going to miss everyone working there, and that I'll see him later. He was like cool, and that was it. That was the best quitting I've ever done, and I don't regret it. Monjuni's was my 9th job, and my first to quit without a 2 weeks notice. I can't explain how it felt to be free of that shit hole!
I went back to the float to share the news, and Natalie hugged me and gave me her teddy bear. Max hugged me saying "I knew how much you wanted to," and Daniel gave me another shot. After all the floats went by, we went to Aldo's house for a keg. I tackled Andy for a frisbee that Max had thrown me, and in the process cut my finger pretty good. We left and went walking down Spanish Town. I saw a girl with a rainbow chain bead, and I ran up to her and begged her for it. I told her I loved it and would give her 5 bucks for it. She put it around my neck and told me her girlfriend was just making her hold it anyways. She wouldn't even take the 5 bucks! I had asked 4 people before her for a bead that I loved, and they all were mean and selfish! I was so incredibly excited to find someone nice in the world and thanked her a lot. We ran down the street and I met Jaques for the first time. He knew who I was through Andrew Martin, and we talked about what an incredible day it was. We started walking back to Aldo's because Natalie left her phone there, and I came upon an old New Balance shoe. I picked it up and threw it at some girls, almost hitting an old man smack in the face, but he ducked. I walked a few feet and came upon a different abandoned shoe. This blew my mind, so I picked it up and threw it at someone else. In literally three more steps, I came upon an abandoned sandal, which I picked up and threw at someone else. I mean, come on, what are the chances? I don't know, but I was excited about it. We went back to Aldo's and my finger was still bleeding. Aldo's roommate offered me a band aid. He let me wash my cut and gave me a white rag to dab it. He gave me a band aid and one extra just in case I needed it later. Again, I was very happy and amazed that such genuinely nice people existed in the world. I talked to Natalie about Jed, and started crying. I wanted her to know how I thought that her and Jed should be together after she graduates, because they love each other so much and need that chance. I cried because I was happy for her and I was drunk and I'm going to miss her when she moves. Things may not work out, but you can always start over, and we'll always be around. You have to make yourself happy now. It started to rain and we rode our bikes back home with quickness. I was so exhausted from jumping, screaming, and running that I just completely passed out on my stomach. I woke up in my room at 7 pm when Max called me to see what's up. I was almost sobered up, and I remembered quitting and was happy. We went and got some food at Louies and sat down with lots of ketchup and beer. I took an extremely long shower and waited for Natalie and Andrew to come over. We talked until 5 in the morning, and we talked about everything. I probably scared Andrew because I was just bubbling over with happiness and inspiration, whereas he was stuck doing funeral stuff for his girlfriend's grandmother all day. Regardless, I hope he feels better today. I had sent him a text earlier that said that I knew how bad a day it was for him, and that if I could tear up the teddy bear Natalie had given me, which represents my happiness, I would give him a piece and he would be happy. I realize that I will be depresses and in a rut soon, it's inevitable. I realize that I'll probably have to get another shitty job to survive, and that with school in my life, I am not completely free. Right now, though, I feel that freedom is a state of mind, and I'm thriving in it. Some might consider veganism very restricting, but I believe that freedom and self control can go hand-in-hand. I honestly do not want dairy products if they aren't cruelty-free. And that to me feels very free. I don't want to have anything to do with war and cruelty and abuse-if I can't do anything to help the situation I will at least not promote it as much as I can without going insane. I love everyone, and I truly truly hope that I can keep this inspiration up for a bit. I have my resume finished, and I hope to get a better job.
I love everyone. I especially love those that have hurt me, because if they hadn't hurt me, I wouldn't be who I am today. I'm so glad that I experienced pain because it makes me appreciate freedom all the more. There's more pain to come, but now I have a goal. I want to do and experience everything that I can.
I had a dream last night that I was driving in my car with Greg's friend (who I am not attracted to AT ALL) and I leaned over and held his hand. He was uncomfortable and swerved off the road into a still river creek thing. We got out into the water and tried to push the car to shore. Others came and helped, but we couldn't push it far enough. Everyone left and I watched my car sink alone.
I woke up with my voice gone, a fever, and a sore throat. I called Kristen to tell her I couldn't go to New Orleans because of my condition, but I am still happy. I'm happy to be home.