Some Wrestling Thoughts
* You know how I loved that Judgment Day this year was a show of pure wrestling with no gimmicks? Well, it looks like the next PPV, Extreme Rules (fka One Night Stand) is the exact opposite. Damn near the same card, but every match with, as you'd assume, extreme rules of some kind. Now, this isn't a bad thing... just funny.
* On Smackdown, Edge and Jeff Hardy had a match where the winner would chose the stipulation for their match. This sort of thing is a total bullshit misdirection, because it's not like picking the type of match gives one guy a big advantage, especially when it comes to these two guys. Hardy won and picked a ladder match, and Edge acted all upset... which leads me to wonder, what match was Edge going to pick had he won? The motherfucker thrives in ladder matches and is known for being amazing at TLC matches (tables, ladders and chairs).
* Last week on Raw, Ric Flair and Randy Orton were in the ring and Flair was trashing Orton verbally, so Orton punched him -- which they're calling a sucker punch. Um, how is it a sucker punch when you're in the middle of a wrestling ring and verbally abusing the other guy? Are we to think that Flair really had no idea that Orton may respond with physical violence? And, while I'm on the subject, for guys who fight for a living, wrestling are pretty damn awful at dodging punches. Wouldn't you expect a 16-time world champ like Flair to see a punch coming?
* Whenever anyone brags about being a "(insert number) time champion" and they aren't currently in possession of that belt, I always want the person they're feuding with to go, "Doesn't that mean you've also lost that belt (insert number) times?"
* An Edge/Jericho feud is a must. I know I'm biased, but, come on, it's obvious -- particularly because any time they're in the ring together, it's great.
* This happened on Friday: Rey Mysterio says he's done with Jericho; Jericho goes to Teddy Long, Smackdown's GM, and demands a rematch with Mysterio at Extreme Rules; Long informs Jericho that the no-holds-barred match has already been booked at the request of Mysterio. My question: if Mysterio were, in fact, done with Jericho, why would he request a match with him?
* Tonight's Raw was pretty godawful in a lot of places thanks to McMahon's problems with Stan Kroenke. Also, five-on-five tag matches are just brutal to watch. So is pretending that Jerry Lawler can stand toe-to-toe with the Big Show. And, really, Mr. Kennedy as the surprise fifth man on the face's team? That guy who hasn't wrestled in, like, a year and wasn't even THAT big of a name before that? And, then, he spent a large chunk of the match getting his ass handed to him. Oh ho ho.
* Umaga and Hornswaggle speak within a week of one another... weird.
* Part of me wishes that they had Umaga use big words and speak in a British accent.
* The booking of a submission match between John Cena and the Big Show at Extreme Rules explains why Cena went for the STFU (his submission hold) three times at Judgment Day -- and failed each time. At the time, both Michelle and I were baffled at this strategy of continuing to try a hold that failed, mostly, because his opponent is just too tall to apply it correctly. It wasn't even that the Big Show countered it -- he's just too tall naturally.
* In every tag match Cryme Tyme is in, JTG spends a huge chunk getting beat down only to, eventually, just barely make a tag. Why would you tag with a guy like that? Every fucking time.
Later
* On Smackdown, Edge and Jeff Hardy had a match where the winner would chose the stipulation for their match. This sort of thing is a total bullshit misdirection, because it's not like picking the type of match gives one guy a big advantage, especially when it comes to these two guys. Hardy won and picked a ladder match, and Edge acted all upset... which leads me to wonder, what match was Edge going to pick had he won? The motherfucker thrives in ladder matches and is known for being amazing at TLC matches (tables, ladders and chairs).
* Last week on Raw, Ric Flair and Randy Orton were in the ring and Flair was trashing Orton verbally, so Orton punched him -- which they're calling a sucker punch. Um, how is it a sucker punch when you're in the middle of a wrestling ring and verbally abusing the other guy? Are we to think that Flair really had no idea that Orton may respond with physical violence? And, while I'm on the subject, for guys who fight for a living, wrestling are pretty damn awful at dodging punches. Wouldn't you expect a 16-time world champ like Flair to see a punch coming?
* Whenever anyone brags about being a "(insert number) time champion" and they aren't currently in possession of that belt, I always want the person they're feuding with to go, "Doesn't that mean you've also lost that belt (insert number) times?"
* An Edge/Jericho feud is a must. I know I'm biased, but, come on, it's obvious -- particularly because any time they're in the ring together, it's great.
* This happened on Friday: Rey Mysterio says he's done with Jericho; Jericho goes to Teddy Long, Smackdown's GM, and demands a rematch with Mysterio at Extreme Rules; Long informs Jericho that the no-holds-barred match has already been booked at the request of Mysterio. My question: if Mysterio were, in fact, done with Jericho, why would he request a match with him?
* Tonight's Raw was pretty godawful in a lot of places thanks to McMahon's problems with Stan Kroenke. Also, five-on-five tag matches are just brutal to watch. So is pretending that Jerry Lawler can stand toe-to-toe with the Big Show. And, really, Mr. Kennedy as the surprise fifth man on the face's team? That guy who hasn't wrestled in, like, a year and wasn't even THAT big of a name before that? And, then, he spent a large chunk of the match getting his ass handed to him. Oh ho ho.
* Umaga and Hornswaggle speak within a week of one another... weird.
* Part of me wishes that they had Umaga use big words and speak in a British accent.
* The booking of a submission match between John Cena and the Big Show at Extreme Rules explains why Cena went for the STFU (his submission hold) three times at Judgment Day -- and failed each time. At the time, both Michelle and I were baffled at this strategy of continuing to try a hold that failed, mostly, because his opponent is just too tall to apply it correctly. It wasn't even that the Big Show countered it -- he's just too tall naturally.
* In every tag match Cryme Tyme is in, JTG spends a huge chunk getting beat down only to, eventually, just barely make a tag. Why would you tag with a guy like that? Every fucking time.
Later