It's like the hand of fate has mine and we're just gliding over the time-being
So, now that I've been working there for like two months, I should probably write about the fact that I am cocktail waitressing at a strip club.
IT'S AWESOME.
It's been really volatile, mostly. Really volatile. Sometimes I leave with $40. My best day I made $215... and that was AFTER tipping out my bartender $20.
I love it. I love the atmosphere, I love the people I work with, I love the job, I love the fast pace, I love feeling like hot shit. I love my people skills, I love my memory and not having to write down a single order, ever, and not having EVER made a mistake yet. But I really love my people skills. I had been getting pretty adept at my people skills, but after just two months working here, it is like laser-beam precision people skills. I am. SO GOOD. at this job.
But mostly, lately, it had been on the iffy side of volatile.
So, I have a $1000 choral scholarship for next year. A week ago I applied for a need-based grant, only open to Texas students, with a 2-week window for which to apply, which gives out a total of $4 million in $2000-$4000 increments. The last postmark date was May 1. I forgot about the grant and went back to find that postmark date like three days beforehand. So on April 30, I over-nighted my application because I figure a decent amount of people would send their application by regular mail all the way up to the last day, so HOPEFULLY that puts me way ahead of those people. And given my adjusted income for last year was $7000, if I get the grant, I get the max.
SO. IF I get the grant. On top of the scholarship. I will have to save $40 per day, five days a week, for the ENTIRE SUMMER in order to pay my tuition for next year. Given that often I don't make more than $60 at work... this became a terrifying prospect.
I made that realization two days ago, and decided I would start a tuition jar. Well, actually what happened was that I decided to start a tuition jar, said to someone that I would put $20 per shift in it, and then decided to figure out the math and if $20 would cut it. Then realized it would actually take $40.
In the two days since that realization, on my shifts I've made $140 and $90.
I feel... so much... like this is a sign. Its a sign that I can do this, that I won't fail, and that I'm on the right track.
I can do this. Yesterday I put $100 out of my $140 in the tuition jar, and today I put $60. I have $160 in my tuition jar. That is 5% of what I need. I am 5% complete. I can do this.
It's so overwhelming to realize that I can do this. It's overwhelming because it's a realization and not a thought or opinion. It's... a fact. It feels... factual.
It feels so factual that it's like the hand of fate has mine and we're just gliding over the time-being.
It almost makes me want to believe in god again. Because it feels so much like I'm in someone else's hands now. Or maybe this is just me being tired and delirious.
And I'm also talking to a dude. His name is Tucker Bilodeau. I really like his name. Like, reallly. I don't know if it's going anywhere, but it's a prospect.
That's all for now. I need to go to bed. It's 11:11. Make a wish!
IT'S AWESOME.
It's been really volatile, mostly. Really volatile. Sometimes I leave with $40. My best day I made $215... and that was AFTER tipping out my bartender $20.
I love it. I love the atmosphere, I love the people I work with, I love the job, I love the fast pace, I love feeling like hot shit. I love my people skills, I love my memory and not having to write down a single order, ever, and not having EVER made a mistake yet. But I really love my people skills. I had been getting pretty adept at my people skills, but after just two months working here, it is like laser-beam precision people skills. I am. SO GOOD. at this job.
But mostly, lately, it had been on the iffy side of volatile.
So, I have a $1000 choral scholarship for next year. A week ago I applied for a need-based grant, only open to Texas students, with a 2-week window for which to apply, which gives out a total of $4 million in $2000-$4000 increments. The last postmark date was May 1. I forgot about the grant and went back to find that postmark date like three days beforehand. So on April 30, I over-nighted my application because I figure a decent amount of people would send their application by regular mail all the way up to the last day, so HOPEFULLY that puts me way ahead of those people. And given my adjusted income for last year was $7000, if I get the grant, I get the max.
SO. IF I get the grant. On top of the scholarship. I will have to save $40 per day, five days a week, for the ENTIRE SUMMER in order to pay my tuition for next year. Given that often I don't make more than $60 at work... this became a terrifying prospect.
I made that realization two days ago, and decided I would start a tuition jar. Well, actually what happened was that I decided to start a tuition jar, said to someone that I would put $20 per shift in it, and then decided to figure out the math and if $20 would cut it. Then realized it would actually take $40.
In the two days since that realization, on my shifts I've made $140 and $90.
I feel... so much... like this is a sign. Its a sign that I can do this, that I won't fail, and that I'm on the right track.
I can do this. Yesterday I put $100 out of my $140 in the tuition jar, and today I put $60. I have $160 in my tuition jar. That is 5% of what I need. I am 5% complete. I can do this.
It's so overwhelming to realize that I can do this. It's overwhelming because it's a realization and not a thought or opinion. It's... a fact. It feels... factual.
It feels so factual that it's like the hand of fate has mine and we're just gliding over the time-being.
It almost makes me want to believe in god again. Because it feels so much like I'm in someone else's hands now. Or maybe this is just me being tired and delirious.
And I'm also talking to a dude. His name is Tucker Bilodeau. I really like his name. Like, reallly. I don't know if it's going anywhere, but it's a prospect.
That's all for now. I need to go to bed. It's 11:11. Make a wish!