Self Diagnosis
So I know what is wrong with me. I know why I get down.
During the week while I work at State Farm and have my personal time, I constantly think. I think about this and that and the other thing. I think about what I want and think.. think.. think....
I am diagnosing myself with an overactive brain. I know what I need to do to channel that too. I realize that I spend too much of my time thinking about all of these things and it depressed me sometimes. I dont stay busy enough. I really need to start channeling that energy to a good use. Much like I do at Fridays. When I work there on the weekends, I seem to totally zone and think about the things going on around me and the people I am around. I get in the zone and have a damn good time while I am there. I need to learn to do that with State Farm. I struggle to sometimes even when I know that is what I need to do.
I am continuing to cut the drama out of my life and it is good. I am cutting Chris and his BS out of here damn near completely. I am doing everything on my own and independantly. Where I need to at least. I am very much standing on my own right now and I like that. It feels really good and it is nice to not have to worry about drama coming from people. After that night around Chris, I really realized that I have gotten tied up in a crowd that I dont fit in to and dont care to deal with. They are all great guys, but there is just too much there. Too much judgement and too much accusation. I dont want or need that, so out it goes. I am not shutting myself out from anyone, more of repositioning.
Well.. Its damn near 1AM and I need to get ready for bed... Good night!
During the week while I work at State Farm and have my personal time, I constantly think. I think about this and that and the other thing. I think about what I want and think.. think.. think....
I am diagnosing myself with an overactive brain. I know what I need to do to channel that too. I realize that I spend too much of my time thinking about all of these things and it depressed me sometimes. I dont stay busy enough. I really need to start channeling that energy to a good use. Much like I do at Fridays. When I work there on the weekends, I seem to totally zone and think about the things going on around me and the people I am around. I get in the zone and have a damn good time while I am there. I need to learn to do that with State Farm. I struggle to sometimes even when I know that is what I need to do.
I am continuing to cut the drama out of my life and it is good. I am cutting Chris and his BS out of here damn near completely. I am doing everything on my own and independantly. Where I need to at least. I am very much standing on my own right now and I like that. It feels really good and it is nice to not have to worry about drama coming from people. After that night around Chris, I really realized that I have gotten tied up in a crowd that I dont fit in to and dont care to deal with. They are all great guys, but there is just too much there. Too much judgement and too much accusation. I dont want or need that, so out it goes. I am not shutting myself out from anyone, more of repositioning.
Well.. Its damn near 1AM and I need to get ready for bed... Good night!