Catching up... Who am I
So I sit here and think about where I have been and where I am and where I am going.
Last night I read through Justins old LJ and there were some things in there that really got me thinking. Really got me thinking about how I have made some bad decisions.
So I look at where I was then. I look at where I was a year ago. I look at where I was 6 months ago. And I look at where I was 3 months ago.
Completely different stages of my life. Some very painful. Some very angry. Some very hurt. But I look at where I am today, and I dont regret a bit of the things I have gone through to make me the person that I am today.
So who am I? I am strong. I am independant. I am dependant. I can show love. I can show care. I can show compassion. I can show emotion. I can cry. I can open up. I can be honest. I am comfortable. I dont have to question whether I am doing something the way someone else might do it or would rather see me do it.
I have learned how to listen to my heart. I have learned to show my weakness. I have learned how to ask for help. I have learned that people care. I have learned that people love you even more when you show your weakness and let them help... The right people of course.
I sit here and think about who I am... I am very strong, and I am very much real, but I also have my problems. I am facing every one of my problems right now and let the ones I love and the ones that love me know about them before they become too much of a problem. I have learned how to take the time to deal with my problems again. I have also learned that there is not as much awfulness in me as some specific people have made it out to be. I have learned that a lot of what they saw was a difference between different people and that was not something those people were ok with. We all run upon people like this sometime in our lives. We are so worried about what they think that we get tangled up in it and lose sight of ourselves.
Well I have pulled out of that and I am very much me and will make it a large point to keep that true person shining. I am not out there trying to be the brightest star in any way. I am not trying to be perfect and always do the "right" thing. Instead, I am honest with myself and I do what I feel is right for me and the people I care about.
I have learned to love myself. And because of that, I can honestly and truly love the people around me. My closest friends and some of my family can see the difference even from a distance. I have a lot to offer the people that mean so much to me. I feel I can take care of them and I can let them take care of me. And it very much works that way.
It really is something to sit back and look at my accomplishments lately. Damn.. I really do have a lot to look forward to. I am dead set on keeping this going. I commit myself to me. And I will always come first in that way. If i cant put me first, I cant offer what I need to offer to the ones that come next.
So to all the ones around me, Thank you. Thank you for being there for me and thank you for being there for me to love. You are all great. I could name a few people that are very much at the top of that list, but I think you all know who you are.
Last night I read through Justins old LJ and there were some things in there that really got me thinking. Really got me thinking about how I have made some bad decisions.
So I look at where I was then. I look at where I was a year ago. I look at where I was 6 months ago. And I look at where I was 3 months ago.
Completely different stages of my life. Some very painful. Some very angry. Some very hurt. But I look at where I am today, and I dont regret a bit of the things I have gone through to make me the person that I am today.
So who am I? I am strong. I am independant. I am dependant. I can show love. I can show care. I can show compassion. I can show emotion. I can cry. I can open up. I can be honest. I am comfortable. I dont have to question whether I am doing something the way someone else might do it or would rather see me do it.
I have learned how to listen to my heart. I have learned to show my weakness. I have learned how to ask for help. I have learned that people care. I have learned that people love you even more when you show your weakness and let them help... The right people of course.
I sit here and think about who I am... I am very strong, and I am very much real, but I also have my problems. I am facing every one of my problems right now and let the ones I love and the ones that love me know about them before they become too much of a problem. I have learned how to take the time to deal with my problems again. I have also learned that there is not as much awfulness in me as some specific people have made it out to be. I have learned that a lot of what they saw was a difference between different people and that was not something those people were ok with. We all run upon people like this sometime in our lives. We are so worried about what they think that we get tangled up in it and lose sight of ourselves.
Well I have pulled out of that and I am very much me and will make it a large point to keep that true person shining. I am not out there trying to be the brightest star in any way. I am not trying to be perfect and always do the "right" thing. Instead, I am honest with myself and I do what I feel is right for me and the people I care about.
I have learned to love myself. And because of that, I can honestly and truly love the people around me. My closest friends and some of my family can see the difference even from a distance. I have a lot to offer the people that mean so much to me. I feel I can take care of them and I can let them take care of me. And it very much works that way.
It really is something to sit back and look at my accomplishments lately. Damn.. I really do have a lot to look forward to. I am dead set on keeping this going. I commit myself to me. And I will always come first in that way. If i cant put me first, I cant offer what I need to offer to the ones that come next.
So to all the ones around me, Thank you. Thank you for being there for me and thank you for being there for me to love. You are all great. I could name a few people that are very much at the top of that list, but I think you all know who you are.