Reponse to Jigsaw Pig's Blog of December 17th
No matter how much you complain about meetings, you cannot call yourself a real man until you have sat through a ladies meeting at church. I got roped into attending one once a long time ago and the main item on the agenda was restocking the church kitchen with paper supplies. This is somewhat how the discussion went as best as I can remember.
"Ok, ladies, we need to purchase 1,000 paper cups,"
"Uh, where are we purchasing the cups? Anyone have any good ideas?"
"Oh, I saw a good sale at Walmart two months ago."
"No, not Walmart, they don't stock that many. How about Kmart? They have paper cups there."
"Kmart's prices are awfully steep. How about Sam's?"
"I don't have a Sam's card, do you? We'll need a membership card if we go there."
"No, but I'm sure we can get one from someone."
"I say we buy them at Gordon's, that food supply place. We can get them in bulk there."
"Yes, but how are their prices?"
"I'm not sure. Someone better check."
"Yes, who would like to volunteer to check on prices at Gordons for the cups?"
"I will, I live just down the street from Gordon's and will go by there after picking up little Sally tomorrow afternoon from daycare."
"Ok, now, who will purchase the cups?"
"I can't, I don't have the church's permission to use their tax-free number."
"I do, but I'll be out of town for the rest of the week."
"I can purchase them if someone goes with me."
"No, you can't, Mary, you're having your hair done Thursday."
"Oh, that's right. I'm getting a perm."
"Can Sue do it?"
"Sue? Can you pick up the cups?"
"Sure I can but I can't fit all of those cups in my little car."
"Who would like to go with Sue that has a larger car than she does?"
"I can't, my car has to be in the shop that day. We're having trouble with our engine overheating. I'll have it back by Saturday afternoon though."
"No, Saturday is too late, they need to be up here before the banquet on Friday night."
"I can go with Sue, however I cannot bring them all the way to the church. Can anyone take them from Sue's house to the church before Friday?"
"I believe I can stop at Sue's on the way to get my mother in law's dry cleaning. Will you be home at 4:30, Sue?"
"No, I will be taking little Jennifer to piano lessons from 4:30 to 5:00 but I'll be home directly after that. Can you come at 5:00?"
"Yes, I believe I can."
"Wait, I don't have a church key. How will I get in?"
"Oh dear, that is a problem."
"Can someone give me their key so I can get in?"
"No, we're not supposed to give out our keys. Only deaconesses are supposed to have keys."
"Who has a key and would like to meet Hildegaard up here at church around 5:15 on Friday afternoon?"
"Won't the janitor be here setting up tables for the banquet that day?"
"Yes, but how can we be sure he will be there at 5:15? Mable, will your husband be up here at 5:15 Friday?"
"I think so, but he's been having problems with low blood sugar so he might have an attack and have to run out to get something to eat."
"Ok, well if Walter doesn't have a low blood sugar attack on Friday, he'll be here to let Hildegaard in so she can bring in the cups."
"Where are we going to store the cups?"
"Oh, I didn't think of that. We don't really have room for 1,000 cups in the church kitchen."
"But they'll use some up at the banquet. We won't have the full amount."
"Ok, if they use, let's say 250 cups, that accounts for little kids who are in the habit of taking more than one cup, then we have 750 cups left to store someplace. How many fit into the regular Paper Cup Cupboard?"
"I don't know, have we ever counted how many we can get in there?"
"I could go look and count how many fit on one shelf and get a rough idea."
"Ok, Glenda, you go do that and call out the number."
"25...50...75...100...125...150...200! We can get 200 on one shelf!"
"So we have 3 shelves so mulitply that times 200 and that takes up 600 cups. What shall we do with the other 150?"
"uhhhh"
"ummmm"
"uhhhh"
"How about we try to fit them into the Paper Plate Cupboard?"
"Can we do that?"
"It's never been done before."
"I don't know, Gertrude, won't people forget where they are?"
"We could put a sign on the cupboard door: EXTRA CUPS IN HERE."
"Oh, we could do that. What a lovely idea."
"Let's do that then, I think it's very practical."
"Ok, so we have decided to put the extra paper cups into the Paper Plate Cupboard and then to install a sign telling people where to find them, is that right?"
"Yes,"
"Yes,"
"Yes,"
"Ok, next question. Who will make the sign that will go on the cupboard door?"
I think you get my drift.
"Ok, ladies, we need to purchase 1,000 paper cups,"
"Uh, where are we purchasing the cups? Anyone have any good ideas?"
"Oh, I saw a good sale at Walmart two months ago."
"No, not Walmart, they don't stock that many. How about Kmart? They have paper cups there."
"Kmart's prices are awfully steep. How about Sam's?"
"I don't have a Sam's card, do you? We'll need a membership card if we go there."
"No, but I'm sure we can get one from someone."
"I say we buy them at Gordon's, that food supply place. We can get them in bulk there."
"Yes, but how are their prices?"
"I'm not sure. Someone better check."
"Yes, who would like to volunteer to check on prices at Gordons for the cups?"
"I will, I live just down the street from Gordon's and will go by there after picking up little Sally tomorrow afternoon from daycare."
"Ok, now, who will purchase the cups?"
"I can't, I don't have the church's permission to use their tax-free number."
"I do, but I'll be out of town for the rest of the week."
"I can purchase them if someone goes with me."
"No, you can't, Mary, you're having your hair done Thursday."
"Oh, that's right. I'm getting a perm."
"Can Sue do it?"
"Sue? Can you pick up the cups?"
"Sure I can but I can't fit all of those cups in my little car."
"Who would like to go with Sue that has a larger car than she does?"
"I can't, my car has to be in the shop that day. We're having trouble with our engine overheating. I'll have it back by Saturday afternoon though."
"No, Saturday is too late, they need to be up here before the banquet on Friday night."
"I can go with Sue, however I cannot bring them all the way to the church. Can anyone take them from Sue's house to the church before Friday?"
"I believe I can stop at Sue's on the way to get my mother in law's dry cleaning. Will you be home at 4:30, Sue?"
"No, I will be taking little Jennifer to piano lessons from 4:30 to 5:00 but I'll be home directly after that. Can you come at 5:00?"
"Yes, I believe I can."
"Wait, I don't have a church key. How will I get in?"
"Oh dear, that is a problem."
"Can someone give me their key so I can get in?"
"No, we're not supposed to give out our keys. Only deaconesses are supposed to have keys."
"Who has a key and would like to meet Hildegaard up here at church around 5:15 on Friday afternoon?"
"Won't the janitor be here setting up tables for the banquet that day?"
"Yes, but how can we be sure he will be there at 5:15? Mable, will your husband be up here at 5:15 Friday?"
"I think so, but he's been having problems with low blood sugar so he might have an attack and have to run out to get something to eat."
"Ok, well if Walter doesn't have a low blood sugar attack on Friday, he'll be here to let Hildegaard in so she can bring in the cups."
"Where are we going to store the cups?"
"Oh, I didn't think of that. We don't really have room for 1,000 cups in the church kitchen."
"But they'll use some up at the banquet. We won't have the full amount."
"Ok, if they use, let's say 250 cups, that accounts for little kids who are in the habit of taking more than one cup, then we have 750 cups left to store someplace. How many fit into the regular Paper Cup Cupboard?"
"I don't know, have we ever counted how many we can get in there?"
"I could go look and count how many fit on one shelf and get a rough idea."
"Ok, Glenda, you go do that and call out the number."
"25...50...75...100...125...150...200! We can get 200 on one shelf!"
"So we have 3 shelves so mulitply that times 200 and that takes up 600 cups. What shall we do with the other 150?"
"uhhhh"
"ummmm"
"uhhhh"
"How about we try to fit them into the Paper Plate Cupboard?"
"Can we do that?"
"It's never been done before."
"I don't know, Gertrude, won't people forget where they are?"
"We could put a sign on the cupboard door: EXTRA CUPS IN HERE."
"Oh, we could do that. What a lovely idea."
"Let's do that then, I think it's very practical."
"Ok, so we have decided to put the extra paper cups into the Paper Plate Cupboard and then to install a sign telling people where to find them, is that right?"
"Yes,"
"Yes,"
"Yes,"
"Ok, next question. Who will make the sign that will go on the cupboard door?"
I think you get my drift.