i never made it as a wise man. i couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing.
i want to go home. i really just want to go home. i am so bored and lonely here i could die. and i want to be back in scottsdale so i can see my friends and at least get to say goodbye to mike. but no. i have to be here, doing nothing. i'm not even spending time with my dad, so what's the point? i haven't so much as seen him all day. arg. this is ridiculous.
i think i'm coming down with something, on top of everything else. i always feel nauseous and i generally have a headache to go along with it. i don't know why either. it's driving me nuts. and it's the worst when i have to drive to dad's work (an hour away) because i spend the entire time trying desperately not to puke. so fucking sad.
but yeah, nothing happened todya. ihave nothing to say. i have no reason to be updating at all. i am so bored my eyes are going to fall out. and the sad thing is if my eyes fell out, i would be excited because taht is a hell of a lot more interesting than sitting here and staring at the computer screen like i have been since i woke up 6 and a half hours ago. the worst part about that is no one is online because they are all out having fun. i want to be out having fun. i want to see my friends. i miss them. this sucks.
the worst part about having nothing to do is that all i have been able to think about today is cutting myself. my razors are calling to me and i don't want to do that right now. i really don't want to do that right now. but i can't stop thinking about it. i just can't. there is this one vein on my wrist that is burning and just begging to be cut. and without anything to do or someone to talk to i have nothing to distract myself with. i don't know what to do. i'm sick of hurting everyone around me by hurting myself, but i don't know how much longer i can last with out going into my wallet and getting my razors. if i come home with new scars then i'm sorry, but i don't know how many days i can last like this.
ok, i'm going to go. i have nothing else to say and i'm sure you guys are sick of listening to me complain. so i'm off. i think i might take a shower and i'm going to try to avoid my razors. cross your fingers for me. call me sometime. anyone. i am so lonely here by myself and no one ever calls except for remy. so goodbye. i love you all forever and foralways and i miss you more than i could ever describe. muah.
anna
i think i'm coming down with something, on top of everything else. i always feel nauseous and i generally have a headache to go along with it. i don't know why either. it's driving me nuts. and it's the worst when i have to drive to dad's work (an hour away) because i spend the entire time trying desperately not to puke. so fucking sad.
but yeah, nothing happened todya. ihave nothing to say. i have no reason to be updating at all. i am so bored my eyes are going to fall out. and the sad thing is if my eyes fell out, i would be excited because taht is a hell of a lot more interesting than sitting here and staring at the computer screen like i have been since i woke up 6 and a half hours ago. the worst part about that is no one is online because they are all out having fun. i want to be out having fun. i want to see my friends. i miss them. this sucks.
the worst part about having nothing to do is that all i have been able to think about today is cutting myself. my razors are calling to me and i don't want to do that right now. i really don't want to do that right now. but i can't stop thinking about it. i just can't. there is this one vein on my wrist that is burning and just begging to be cut. and without anything to do or someone to talk to i have nothing to distract myself with. i don't know what to do. i'm sick of hurting everyone around me by hurting myself, but i don't know how much longer i can last with out going into my wallet and getting my razors. if i come home with new scars then i'm sorry, but i don't know how many days i can last like this.
ok, i'm going to go. i have nothing else to say and i'm sure you guys are sick of listening to me complain. so i'm off. i think i might take a shower and i'm going to try to avoid my razors. cross your fingers for me. call me sometime. anyone. i am so lonely here by myself and no one ever calls except for remy. so goodbye. i love you all forever and foralways and i miss you more than i could ever describe. muah.
anna