Hyperbole.
I feel like I am going to explode, implode, melt down, disintegrate, become catatonic, or - as a charming alternative to all of the above - simply lose it and start running around with my pants on my head. School starts tomorrow, and I have NO idea what I'm doing. Honestly. I do not feel even vaguely prepared, and I have been procrastinating everything from setting up my gradebook to writing parent letters to even coming up with first-day activities. I know I will pull something out of my magical teacher-space in my brain at the last minute, and everything will ultimately go off without a hitch, but goddamn am I freaking out now. It didn't help that I woke up to find a landslide of dirty dishes in the kitchen, no toilet paper in the bathroom, a disgustingly crumb-covered living room rug, and enough recyclables on the counter and in the dish drainer to pay for a modest vacation. I don't feel like anyone I live with is actually going to help me keep the apartment clean enough for me to want to come home to it, especially when I am the first person out in the morning and the last home at night. I am really worried that I am going to come home from a day of taking care of people just to need to take care of myself and the guys I live with. They won't let themselves starve, or alternately wallow in a pile of filth, but things like dishes, vacuuming, picking up, and hell - even just wiping crumbs off the counter after cutting a bagel - do not seem likely to be done. I know I am imposing my standards of cleanliness on them; both guys are happy to have piles of filthy dishes cascading out of the sink, and I don't think they would ever choose to vacuum unless people were coming over. At the same time, we all live here, and even if my standard is higher than theirs, I don't think it is unreasonable to ask for little pieces of food to be picked up off the coffee table. Not something to look forward to. In the realm of things that are actually under my control, I still need to read something like three books before I start teaching them, and I have to put all of my opening day activities, handouts, grading policy, and all that jazz onto about a dozen websites. I love that the school has gone so paperless, but goddamn does it make a shitton of work for me to post everything we do in so many places. I will be spending more time making things accessible than actually making them. Awesome. I think I need to eat breakfast, but I'm scared of the kitchen.