Ramblings about the Inter-Barca press coverage.
Prosport win the tapiro d’oro, if only Romania had such a thing, for reporting that Javi had received a yellow card and would miss the final, bringing several frantic readers to Inter forums to confirm that “the Tractor will lift the cup”. Incidentally, Christi will be the first Romanian to play in the CL final since Adrian Ilie in 2000. Fuck me.
(Also: am trying not to laugh at “Sergio Buttsecs”.)
The Guardian mbm was written by a misanthrope who hates humanity and, also, José. He wins the Golden Arsehole for most disturbing impromptu pornfic: “Mourinho has seen the Barcelona line-up and changed his own to suit it without having to waste a substitution. Oh dear sweet God, if this has any obvious bearing on the result the UK press will shove their collective tongue so far up his jacksy the groans of pleasure - from both ends - will be deafening.” EXCUSE ME, WHERE WERE THE RIMMING AND R-RATED WARNINGS?!
“Predictably enough for a 10-man team managed by Jose Mourinho, Inter's players are dropping like flies and pretending they're injured at every opportunity. Chivu is the latest to drop and roll after jumping near Lionel Messi.”
Dear Guardian mbm man,
Last time we played Messi, he knocked Maicon’s teeth out. This time, he bumped into the right side of Chivu’s head (yes, there WAS contact). There is something special about the right side of Chivu’s head that you won’t know about, since you can’t identify any of our people except for José, Figo and Motta. So I won’t bother finishing this letter.
No love, Cheryl. (Except when you said that Christi was “wearing his scrum-cap with the flap hanging down so that he bears a passing resemblance to Biggles. Tally ho, chaps!” That was amazing.)