Eyes
Well. I have returned from my eye laser surgery jaunt. It went about as well as it is possible for eye laser surgery to go, apparently; I have a lot of broken blood vessels in my eyes, but they were caused by the thing that holds your eye still, not by the actual surgery, and aren’t important. My eyesight is already as good as it was with my battered old glasses, and should get better over the next few days. Am still having trouble reading small fonts, so please don’t reply to this in 6pt. XD
The surgery itself is a strangely Kafkaesque experience: you lie on your back and stare at kaleidoscopic lights while a South African voice occasionally intones “Laser firing, everything is geuing well” or something equally encouraging. This is followed by a drive through the bowels of Newcastle and over the Tyne Bridge, during which you cannot see a thing but can occasionally hear trains going by above you. Finally you arrive... somewhere, and are led by the hand by your mother, who has to shout “Kerb!” and “Steps!” to warn you of the proximity of these obstacles. The unknown and totally invisible place turns out to have a bed, into which you collapse and where you fall asleep instantly. AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU CAN SEE. Only when it’s pretty dark, admittedly, and with a lot of tears in your eyes, but you can already make out details that you wouldn’t have been able to the day before. WOO!
Possibly my brother’s bachelor flat wasn’t the best place to test out my new sight, since the first things I saw were Dralon sofas and polystyrene tiles, but on the upside, I feel a lot better about the state of my own house now. Also, he had a guide to Eastern Europe with a little Romanian dictionary. Sensible man. ((I already know enough about Romanian to be able to tell that some of it was WRONG. DUH, Lonely Planet!) I hadn’t slept in a city for about eight years, so was totally puzzled by phenomena such as birds singing in the night-time because they were confused by the streetlights. Fortunately, I remembered in time that it’s a good idea to lock the car.
I have made the interesting discovery that your tear ducts are linked to your sinuses somehow, since, if you place a disgusting-tasting substance in your eye, it will sooner or later make its way to your palate. I have a billion different drops that I have to take several times a day; guess how they taste. I only have to take them for a week, though, and then it’s back to Newky for the second check-up. Back yet again in a month’s time, and then I am FREE. FREE!!
The future’s bright! Because, er, my light tolerance isn’t very good yet. But never mind that. I CAN SEE!!!
The surgery itself is a strangely Kafkaesque experience: you lie on your back and stare at kaleidoscopic lights while a South African voice occasionally intones “Laser firing, everything is geuing well” or something equally encouraging. This is followed by a drive through the bowels of Newcastle and over the Tyne Bridge, during which you cannot see a thing but can occasionally hear trains going by above you. Finally you arrive... somewhere, and are led by the hand by your mother, who has to shout “Kerb!” and “Steps!” to warn you of the proximity of these obstacles. The unknown and totally invisible place turns out to have a bed, into which you collapse and where you fall asleep instantly. AND WHEN YOU WAKE UP, YOU CAN SEE. Only when it’s pretty dark, admittedly, and with a lot of tears in your eyes, but you can already make out details that you wouldn’t have been able to the day before. WOO!
Possibly my brother’s bachelor flat wasn’t the best place to test out my new sight, since the first things I saw were Dralon sofas and polystyrene tiles, but on the upside, I feel a lot better about the state of my own house now. Also, he had a guide to Eastern Europe with a little Romanian dictionary. Sensible man. ((I already know enough about Romanian to be able to tell that some of it was WRONG. DUH, Lonely Planet!) I hadn’t slept in a city for about eight years, so was totally puzzled by phenomena such as birds singing in the night-time because they were confused by the streetlights. Fortunately, I remembered in time that it’s a good idea to lock the car.
I have made the interesting discovery that your tear ducts are linked to your sinuses somehow, since, if you place a disgusting-tasting substance in your eye, it will sooner or later make its way to your palate. I have a billion different drops that I have to take several times a day; guess how they taste. I only have to take them for a week, though, and then it’s back to Newky for the second check-up. Back yet again in a month’s time, and then I am FREE. FREE!!
The future’s bright! Because, er, my light tolerance isn’t very good yet. But never mind that. I CAN SEE!!!