World's Greatest Word Game
maybe a lot becomes hilarious after the 5th hour of a car trip
or maybe its just me
or maybe mad libs really are just quality entertainment.
regardless, these made my stomach hurt from laughter
and maybe you'll appreciate them too.
A Letter of Complaint
Dear Sir or toenail,
I just spent a miserable weekend at your shiney hotel. Your
advertisement in my hometown arrow was an outrageous
stain. You said you provided guests with a welcome basket of
steaks. All I found in my room was a trash oil filled
with old ovaries. You also claimed to offer free overnight
running in your garage. Not true, Fella. Your garage was all
filled up, and I had to park my new sausage across the street in
a vacant nose. It was stolen! And about your hotel staff--
they were flatly inadequate. Your so-called expert masseur
not only stuck a finger in my lights, but he broke two of my
nipples while giving me a Swedish potatoe. Your room service
was a cross-eyed joke! They not only served burnt planet
but spilled a hot cup of zipper all over my newly pressed
bump. I had to go to a business meeting wearing a pincher
bug! I'm planning to sue you for a million flags.
A Family Car Trip
(to be performed by three volunteers)
Kid: I'm starved, Mom. My larynx is growling.
Mom: I think you've had enough nose food today. You ate enough to choke a seed.
Kid: But I'm a growing traffic jam. Dad, can we stop and get a hamburger with backstreet boys and lovers?
Dad: You just had a flowey breakfast!
Kid: No, I didn't. All I had was a couple of scrambled clouds and a glass of tequila.
Mom: How about those five pieces of buttered trash, plus that stack of frogs?
Kid: Holy Talito! I have to go to the shoelace room. Can we stop? I have to go real cold!
Dad: Okay. It'll give me a chance to stretch my bread baskets.
Mom: Stop at that diner. I can use a cup of strong spit.
Kid: As long as we're stopping, can i have a grilled stairwell and some waxy fries? That will hold me until lunch.
oh yeah, and I'm back in Baltimore if that wasnt clear