Nothing's Fair in Love and War - 6/10: Posted for Smut Sunday
Title: Nothing’s fair in Love and War - 6/10
Rating: NC17 for the whole thing.
Warnings/Spoilers: Set after Series 2. Slash/Language.
Characters: Torchwood Team Fic - Jack/Ianto.
Disclaimer: I do not own Torchwood or its characters.
Summary: Sequel to my fic - Sex, Lies and CCTV. Jack and Ianto deal with the end of their relationship.
A/N: Because experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes.
A/N 2: Nice long smutty, angst filled chapter for you all. Dedicated to Nadine
morgiabecause she is gorgeous, her comments are beautiful and she needs cuddles. *Cuddle*
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part One
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Two
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Three
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Four
Nothing's fair in Love and War: Part Five
‘Those who flee temptation generally leave a forwarding address.’ Lane Olinghouse.
The pub wasn’t crowded but wasn’t empty and it was raining outside, the rift had been far too active and Torchwood had been far too tense and a sudden lull in paperwork had found all of them out before 5 and drinking. For the first time in what felt like ages they were all acting relatively normally and it all felt far too comfortable. Too much like old times with him and Jack, Ianto thought, back when there wasn’t overwhelming angst and anger but just ever present sexual tension and flirting and it was dangerously close to being like the beginning of their relationship and Jack had that glint in his eyes that he knew too well.
He glanced over to him for the seventh time in as many minutes and Ianto held his gaze for a second, looking back to Gwen when she asked him something.
‘Sorry, what?’
‘I said lets go and get another drink.’
‘But I -‘
‘It wasn’t a question.’
She yanked him up to the bar, leaving Jack and Rhys together chatting and stood at the Bar. Ianto smiled at the server, gesturing for the same again and Gwen gleamed at him annoyingly.
‘What?!’
‘You’re making eyes at Jack.’
She nodded her eyebrows towards him knowingly and he stared at her.
‘I’m not.’
‘Yes you are,’ she grinned, ‘Ianto, accept it - you want him back.’
He was silent for a second, looked over at Jack grinning and shook his head without looking back at her.
‘No.’
‘Yes.’ Gwen took her drink and leaned on the bar watching him and catching him smiling as Jack laughed across the room. She grinned and hit him softly, dragging his attention back to her, ‘oh my God you do!’
He shifted against the bar uncomfortably and took a sip of his pint. ‘Gwen I haven’t had sex for three weeks, I’m about to jump you.’
She grimaced, ‘thanks.’
‘Uh huh.’
They stood together and she watched as he stole glances of him over his drink.
‘Ianto, Jack hasn’t slept with anyone since you either. Both of you - get laid already.’
He looked back at her and shook his head.
‘Gwen you know we can’t.’
‘Oh, BOLLUCKS! I don’t know that. Why can’t you? You’re blatantly in love Ianto. And he loves you too. So why not?’
Ianto ignored her, his phone was beeping and he looked down. He had adapted some tech from Tosh’s old stuff so rift alerts and police reports went straight to his mobile.
‘Shit. Alien attack 7 miles away - Jack!’
……………………………..
Ianto watched Jack steadily as he sat back in the sofa and put his legs on the coffee table, crossing them at the ankles and letting his head drop back exhausted. It was after midnight and they had been working since 5 that evening, not to mention the rest of the day, however, there had been a lot happen in that short amount of time and Ianto knew that Jack was blaming himself for all of it. So he straightened his tie and took a deep breath, picking up the Scotch and a couple of glasses and walking warily over to the sofa. It would be fine he convinced himself, he could comfort Jack, have a couple of drinks and leave without undoing all he had done for the past three weeks.
He took a deep breath and walked over, knew Jack knew he was there even if he did have his eyes closed and he sat down next to him, pouring out two glasses and looking sideways at him as he opened an eye.
‘Hi.’
‘You should go home.’
Ianto knew he should, he was exhausted and injured and half way between annoyed at the fact that he had stitches in his head and shaken at Jack’s face when his blood had gotten on him. He hadn’t taken it well and Ianto had watched on worriedly as Jack had scrubbed his hands raw - the fact that Gwen had broken her arm had only added to the stress of the day and Ianto had never been less sure about how to approach a situation.
‘I’m not tired.’
‘Liar.’
Ianto shook his head, ‘large amounts of coffee, a head wound and the adrenaline thereof? Nope, I’m wide awake. Here have a drink.’
Jack sighed and took the glass gratefully, swirling it for a second and knocking it back quickly, placing it back on the table with a crash and sitting back frustratedly.
‘You okay?’
Ianto gulped his down slower and watched as Jack slumped on the sofa and ran his hands down his face, turning and looking at Ianto’s stitches pointedly.
‘Are you?’
‘I’m fine Jack,’ Ianto replied softly, ‘you know I am.’
‘Gwen -‘
‘Gwen’s okay too,’ he reassured quickly, ‘she’ll be fine. Rhys is with her. Predictably mad at you - but there all the same. And you know what they said, two days and she’ll be back and bossing us around before you know it.’
He smiled and Jack just stared back.
‘It isn’t funny.’
‘I know.’
He sighed and handed Jack another drink, watching disapprovingly as he knocked it back quickly again and turned to him.
‘You should go home, I’ll do the reports.’
Ianto sat silently for a minute, knew he was making a mistake by staying but couldn’t help remembering Jack comforting him a million times before and feeling the need to repay it.
‘Jack, it isn’t your fault.’
Ianto looked across at him and Jack clenched his jaw.
‘Isn’t it?’ He asked angrily, ‘Gwen’s in hospital, you have stitches, three people died and I couldn’t stop it Ianto - I couldn’t -‘
‘Jack, you can’t stop everything, it isn’t your fault and I’m fine, Gwen is fine. So stop.’
Jack stared back for a second and then poured another shot for them both, sipping it slowly this time.
‘I am so exhausted of all of this.’
Ianto breathed in sharply and shook his head.
‘You’re not Jack. You’ve been here for over a hundred years, you’ve been leading for seven, you’re not tired of Torchwood - you’re tired of being the only one to take responsibility, you’re tired of blaming yourself, so stop doing it.’
Ianto looked off into the Hub and finished his drink as they sat together in silence.
‘I missed you. This -’ Jack gestured between them and looked into his eyes, ‘talking at night.’
Ianto didn’t reply, just sat back against the sofa and ignored his thigh brushing Jack’s and the rush of emotion that shot through his head when it did, instead letting his eyes fall shut and breathing evenly. Jack shifted next to him, wriggling down and resting his head on his shoulder as Ianto physically stopped himself from reaching out to him. Ianto silently willed his heart to stop thumping so hard, he knew he shouldn’t sleep with Jack tonight- really, really shouldn’t but he couldn’t not think about Jack’s shoulder against his, Jack’s breath on his neck, all he could smell was Jack and it had been so long since he’d felt loved. Lips brushed under his ear and he snapped his eyes open, turning and seeing Jack looking up at him questioningly, leaning in slowly and leaving another kiss just below his jaw line.
‘Jack -‘
‘Ianto,’ Jack murmured against him as he kissed his neck softly and Ianto fought against the feelings rising in his chest.
‘Jack, no.’
‘Yes,’ Jack said defiantly, turning into his body and kissing along his throat, moving a hand along his thigh, between his legs and Ianto breathed in sharply, turning and pressing his lips to Jack’s, kissing him deeply and pushing his body into his. Ianto cupped his cheek, groaned when Jack moved his hand higher up the inside of his thigh.
‘Jack -‘ Ianto tried to protest, pushing his crotch into Jack’s hand and breathing softly into his mouth as he moved under his body.
Jack pulled his tie open and kissed him hard, ‘what?’ He asked, moving lips frantically down his neck and pulling his own shirt off. Ianto gasped as Jack opened his trousers, rubbed his hand into his boxers and was momentarily distracted by Jack’s chest, he was quite sure it had never been that gorgeous before and he realised he was staring.
‘We shouldn’t,’ he explained as Jack grabbed his hands and placed them on his belt, Ianto automatically opening it.
‘We should,’ Jack replied, pulling Ianto’s shirts over his head and lacing their fingers together, pushing him back into the sofa and biting down his stomach.
‘Yeah?’ Ianto panted, pulling Jack’s trousers down and lifting his hips up so Jack could do the same. He threw both pairs through the air as they kissed deeply and wrapped around each other. Ianto groaned loudly as Jack’s body lay over his, his voice muffled as he kissed him.
‘Definitely.’
Jack stopped and looked up at him and they both knew there was no turning back, Ianto reached forward and grabbed him, turning him into the cushions and straddling him, fingers digging into his thighs and heart rate quickening as their crotches ground together and Ianto gasped into Jack’s mouth. He felt him as he moved slowly beneath him, delicately, hesitatingly, like he couldn’t quite believe it was happening and he was here all at once and somewhere else entirely, hard flesh rubbing against Ianto’s as they kissed and he moved Jack’s hand back down between his legs, biting his lip as it wrapped around both their erections and pulled firmly.
Ianto groaned loudly, ‘God Jack,’ he bowed his head into Jack’s chest kissing it wetly and biting as Jack reached his hand round and his fingers travelled slowly to Ianto’s arse.
‘What do you want?’
Ianto looked up from his collar bone, Jack had always asked him that, in the beginning, before they both knew or guessed with accuracy what the other wanted, before words weren’t necessary because they both ran on instinct. Well - Jack ran on instinct and Ianto ran on minutely analysed previous experience, except now it appeared that they were back to the beginning and they were both as unsure as each other.
Jack groped on the floor for lube from his coat as Ianto’s mind quickly ran into overdrive, half formed ideas flashing temptingly as Jack’s cock continued to grind into his. He continued kissing Jack’s throat as he thought, it had been so long since he’d been fucked and suddenly he was sure and all he wanted was Jack inside him, hard and deep, he looked at him.
‘Fuck me. Up against the wall.’
Jack grinned and Ianto kissed it away, pulled him up, walking him across the floor, hands running over his skin as Jack slicked his fingers and Ianto pushed him backwards, crashing him hard into the wall and then turning them so he was pressed up against the surface, their breathe coming short and hard as they kissed recklessly.
He reached his hand up and gripped the corner of the wall and Jack bit down on his neck, reached behind and pushed two fingers inside him. Ianto gasped loudly and Jack stopped, ‘don’t,’ he breathed in sharply and wrapped his leg round Jack’s waist. ‘Don’t stop - more,’ Jack kissed his mouth, looked at him, kissed him again and lifted him up against the wall gripping him hard and he shifted slightly, kissing him back and stealing a lungful of air as Jack penetrated him slowly.
It had been so long and Ianto couldn’t remember why - why they had stopped doing this, why he had been saying no and all he could say now was yes, yes, yes. Jack pushing him higher up with his thrusts, the whole occurrence too dramatic to stay slow as the tension rose again and frantic lust took over.
Ianto grabbed above his head with one hand for leverage the other gripping the back of Jack’s neck, tangling in his hair. He reached his head down and kissed him messily, gasping into his mouth as Jack fucked him deeper, inching inside of him more until he was as far as he could go. Ianto cried out as Jack started hitting his prostate repeatedly with every forced thrust and accompanying grunt as both tried to fuck away the feelings and memories of the past few weeks with pain and pleasure and noise and sweat.
Ianto dragged his fingernails down Jack’s back and arched his neck, his head thumping lightly against the side of the wall, sweat beading on the small of his back and he thrust down on him, panting hard as Jack filled him and stretched him and completed him and made his body ache and his soul hurt and his heart long and his chest tighten.
He reached down to his erection, stroking himself roughly and Jack watched, groaned loudly, burying his head in his shoulder and muffling his cry as he came hard. It hadn’t taken long and Ianto knew it was because Jack loved this position, made him love it too, ever since he had leaned up against a shelf in the Archives and asked Jack to file him away, finding himself lifted up and fucked against them until they were broken and he couldn’t see straight.
He stopped his hand and cupped himself firmly, let Jack come long and hard inside him. Ianto could feel him pulse and finally still and he dropped one leg, his foot not quite reaching the floor. He could vaguely feel fingers still digging into his thighs and hips, bruising the pale skin as Jack still held him up against the wall, looking back up at him and kissing him. Ianto took a breath and clenched lightly around Jack, making him gasp quietly and move into him a bit deeper reaching between them and taking Ianto’s hand away, using his own instead, pumping him quickly and rocking against him, Ianto bit his lip and Jack kissed him hard. He was still pushed inside him half hard as Ianto came, his orgasm convulsing through him, forcing himself into Jack’s fist and digging his fingernails deeply into the back of his neck.
They stilled finally and Jack pulled out slowly, supporting him as they stood together catching their breath. He leaned forward and kissed him and Ianto responded lazily until their pulse rates slowed.
‘Jack…’
‘Stay.’
‘I shouldn’t -‘
‘Stay. Just for tonight,’ Ianto looked past him and Jack rested against him, cupping his cheek, making him look back to him as he spoke quietly, ‘I didn’t know that you were never going to sleep in the same bed as me again last time, so…just stay tonight. Please. I miss saying good night to you.’
He bowed his head into Ianto’s neck and kissed his heart beat and Ianto sighed softly.
‘You still say it anyway. Every night I get your message.’
Jack’s breath caught and he spoke into Ianto’s shoulder, ‘you never reply.’
‘It hurts too much.’
‘It’s just goodnight.’
Ianto looked at him, his lips soft from kissing and his gaze dropped to the floor. ‘Is it?’
‘I promised I would always say it. So I always do,’ Jack replied and ran a hand down his chest, ‘will you stay?’
Ianto closed his eyes and silently cursed his decision making ability, tried to resist and knew he never would. Wanted to lie in Jack’s arms so badly, wanted to kiss him until they fell asleep and not think about the morning, never think about what was coming next. He nodded against him and kissed him softly.
‘Yes.’
…………………..
Ianto had that horrible feeling that he was awake and intuitively knew he didn’t want to be, his head was killing him, his arm was at a weird angle, he was too warm and his body felt heavy and light all at once, a lingering consequence of sex with Jack. It took him a minute to realise that Jack was meant to be the reason he was waking up with this uneasy feeling. It had felt normal to sleep next to him, hear him breathing deeply, see the rise and fall of his chest, feel skin and heat. His face was an inch away from his hair and he inhaled softly, breathing in his scent, he strained his hearing and his eyes trying to place what time it was. None of his clothes were down here and he couldn’t hear anything, his internal clock was telling him it was about six and he looked around discreetly, trying to find his phone but he couldn’t see it. Jack shifted, turning round and facing him, his eyes opening slowly. They lay staring at each silently for a few moments and Jack ran his thumb under Ianto’s stitches, his eyes flashing with hurt and blame as Ianto looked away.
‘Hey.’
‘Morning,’ Ianto’s voice was too quiet and he didn’t know what to say, ‘erm…I should go.’ He started to get up and Jack caught his wrist.
‘Ianto.’
‘Jack - no.’ He looked away and Jack kissed his wrist slowly, watched him cautiously as he did it.
‘Ianto -‘
‘I’m sorry, we shouldn’t have,’ Ianto shook his head and looked at Jack pleadingly, ‘it was a mistake. We can’t keep doing this to each other, I’m better off - you’re better off without me, its better we stop now, sooner rather than later. Please Jack.’
Jack sat up and moved his face close enough to feel Ianto’s breath on his, watched as Ianto closed his eyes, he ran his nose along his jaw line, ghosted a kiss across his mouth.
‘Jack,’ Ianto murmured against him, not moving away but not leaning in, ‘it was a mistake, I’m sorry.’ Jack kissed him softly, bought his hand up to his shoulder when he didn’t move and kissed him again, nudging him with his lips.
‘Some mistakes are worth making,’ he breathed and Ianto suddenly found himself kissing him back, opening his lips and leaning Jack back into the bed, holding himself above him and licking his tongue into his mouth deeply.
He could feel him beneath him, pushed his hips into his and moaned lightly, Jack ran his hands down his back and pulled him down into him.
‘Ianto -‘
‘Shhh,’ he leant down and kissed him again, moving Jack’s legs open and positioning between him, pushing their crotches together. It wasn’t like last night, frantic and hard and want and unsure because Ianto knew that he needed this, Jack needed him and Jack loved him and he loved Jack and this was them saying good bye. It wasn’t a mistake, it was just the end.
He wrapped his arms round his neck and Ianto reached under the pillow, pulled out lube and lightly coated his fingers as he rubbed against him. He moved his hand down his body and Jack arched into him, breathing into his chest as Ianto moved him up to kiss him deeply, pushed a finger into him and kissed down his neck as he replaced it with another. Jack murmured quietly when Ianto stroked past his prostate and he repeated it, thrusting them in and out deeply and slowly as Jack pushed up against him, groaning in the back of his throat.
‘Ianto - stop, don’t I’ll -‘
‘Shhh.’
Ianto kissed him and rubbed into him again, watching him writhing and biting his lip, pushing his legs higher whilst Ianto moved his hips rhythmically. Jack cupped the back of his head hard, gasping in a breath as Ianto manipulated him round his fingers, applying constant pressure inside him and moving above him, his erection grinding into his as he desperately moved beneath him. Ianto continued pushing his fingers into him and rubbing gently, Jack groaning loudly as Ianto kept them buried deep and reached his other hand down, taking Jack’s swollen flesh in his palm and rubbing gently, running his fingers up and down him as his other hand worked in and out of his arse. He felt him come a few moments later, shuddering beneath him as they kissed, pushing his face into his shoulder and breathing hard as he pulled him closer. Ianto finally removing his fingers, thrusting his hips gently against Jack’s as his orgasm pulsed through him until he lay back into the mattress and sighed happily, reached up and pulled Ianto to him again, kissing him slowly.
They lay together in silence for a few seconds and Ianto knew he should go, that this should be the end and Jack seemed to sense it somehow. He pulled the sheet back up over them and looked at him.
‘You know, it’s still early. And you didn’t…’
Jack moved closer to him and Ianto stared at the ceiling.
‘Doesn’t matter. I should get up.’
‘Ianto -‘
Jack grabbed him and reached down, Ianto was hard, had been since he’d decided to bring Jack off but wasn’t about to continue this.
‘Jack, no - last night -‘ he moved away and Jack’s eyes flashed.
‘Did I hurt you?’
‘No!’ He replied quickly and Jack relaxed, he shook his head, ‘no, it’s just last night was a mistake and this morning…this morning was for you.’ Jack frowned and Ianto fell heavily back into the mattress, ‘but nothing’s changed. This is it, the end. We still want different things.’
Jack sighed frustratedly, ‘I want you. And I know you want me. It’s not that different.’
‘Jack -‘
‘Shut up.’
Ianto found himself pressed into the mattress and being kissed hard. He rolled his eyes and Jack pressed against his lips until Ianto cupped the back of his head and kissed back. He watched as Jack disappeared under the sheet, licking and nipping down his stomach, pushing his legs apart and taking him in his mouth. Ianto’s neck arched back and groaned loudly as Jack sucked him slowly, he tangled his fingers in his hair and closed his eyes, moaning quietly when Jack relaxed his throat and took him in deeply, sucking hard and pulling back after a few moments.
He moved up him and kissed him and Ianto thrust his tongue against his, stroked himself as he turned Jack back under him, lined up and pushed inside him. He was still open from earlier and Jack bit his lip as Ianto hit his sensitised prostate, thrusting in deep and slow. Jack clenched round him softly and Ianto moved faster, face hidden in his chest and breathing erratically as Jack whimpered at the harder movement, his eyes closed tight and murmuring to Ianto as he pushed into him repeatedly. He dug his fingers in Jack’s thighs hard as Jack opened them wider, letting Ianto in deeper and his nails pierced his skin as he finally came inside him. He stroked his hair as Ianto rocked against him slowly, riding out the vestiges of his orgasm until he kissed his shoulder and let himself fall away, moving onto his side and resting his hand laced in Jack’s over his chest.
There were still no noise from above; just their heavy breathing and his eyes had focused as much as they would in the surrounding darkness. He thought about what he’d done, three weeks without Jack and once again he had ended up in his bed, given Jack false hope and he mentally berated himself for being so awful, giving in so easily, using him again and wanting it so badly.
Jack had a leg wrapped round his and was kissing along his shoulder gently, nuzzling him in the darkness and Ianto let the moment happen, knowing he would leave soon and Jack would be alone again. Better now then in the future Ianto reminded himself, better sooner rather than later. He had to make it a choice, a decision, not let something else control it, because if something took Ianto from Jack in the future, when they were invested, it would be too much, it would destroy him. Which is why Ianto would have to leave now and save him the heartache, let him get over it before they were both in this too deep. He had to leave him.
Jack nudged his nose with his and kissed him lightly as Ianto sighed, ‘are you going to say goodbye to me now?’
‘Are you ready for me to say goodbye?’ Jack asked deeply, his hand travelling down Ianto’s side and his fingertips dragging across his skin.
‘Yes.’ Ianto wanted him to say it so badly, let him go. Save them both.
Jack smiled and ran his hand down his cheek instead, ‘you’re lying. You don't want me to give up on us yet.’ He stole a last kiss and stared at him hard as Ianto frowned, ‘when you believe yourself, I’ll believe you too.’
He hauled himself up and padded nakedly across the room, turning suddenly and looking back to him, grinning lopsidedly, ‘oh and - Good Morning Ianto.’
Part Seven
A/N 3: Well, so, there you go. Haven’t written sex in a while, hope it didn’t show…