Well shut my mouth.
So I've been using twitter for a month or two now and I was really starting to like it a bunch and then today, my sister joined. This is not necessarily a bad thing, it was just the last place on the internet that I really used that I didn't have to censor myself at all. Yeah, sure I shouldn't have to "censor myself" and my family members don't really mind if I swear, I just don't like cursing/saying certain things in front of them as a point of respect. They don't mind it, per se, at least not that much, but I just don't do it because I know they don't really like it and it just feels weird and out of context, not the way it does in front of my friends. I don't do it to be cool or whatever, I just do it to express myself and because it feels good. And also I liked having something that I could just post to it whenever I was thinking something I couldn't really tell anyone because it would be weird or be taken wrongly or whatever. Now, I can't do that all the time because I can't swear and I can't say certain things because they're going to be heard by people where it might cause some drama. I don't think there's much harm in thinking something and not saying it to people it would hurt as long as you're not backstabbing them etc. So I guess now it's like everywhere else on the internet where I don't say certain things because I don't want it taken out of context, causing drama, or being misconstrued and casting me in a light that isn't true. I remember back in the day when I didn't have any of my relatives added on myspace. I said what I wanted, posted what I wanted, and that was that. It was a better reflection on myself. And now I have tons of people on there, relatives, friends, acquaintances, and it's just not the same. I like that it's easier to keep in touch and share certain things with them, but I don't like feeling I have to limit what I put out there. True, I'm becoming an adult blahblahblah and I have to exercise certain restraint anyway, but come on. I need to express myself somewhere. And maybe it seems dumb that I don't just say to hell with it and act however I want, but I'm a role model to certain people and other people hold me to a standard that isn't a bad reflection on who I actually am, it's just different in some ways from the way I act when I'm among my friends and other young and openminded folk. I'm thinking of maybe starting a blogspot or something but I don't know how much I'd use it since I'm not on the internet so much anymore, what with mom working at home and me not having wireless except for at my dad's. Mom said we're going to be getting a new router, but that could be any time from now until the end of school. Whatever, my point is, I like having the internet as an extention of my interaction with people here and as a means of communicating with my friends from afar, and I hate censoring myself but I also hate disrespecting people. So what am I supposed to do? I don't want to waste the energy to keep up separate accounts. Argh.