Reminisce -chapter 12-
Title: Reminisce
Author: kame_kiyumi
Pairing: Akame
Rating: PG13
Genre: Romance, angst, friendship
Disclaim: Only the plot as this is based on real life experience. I don’t own the boys sadly to say… :(
Summary: Their love journey has been through a lot of ups and downs stretched through the years. Broke-up, getting back together, leaving again to only return with regrets, just how many ups and downs should they encounter in total to attain the real happiness?
Chapter 12:
The day Kame was waiting for had finally arrived with so much of his excited anticipation. He arrived at the amusement park fifteen minutes earlier than the actual meeting time.
“Ahh, I got here too early.” So he found himself a seat at a nearby bench and waited hopefully for Jin.
But after that torturous fifteen minutes, Jin still hasn’t arrived.
‘Why isn’t Jin here yet?’
He came up with many self-comforting excuses for Jin and tried his best to calm himself down to wait for Jin patiently. However, he waited and waited. Waited and then waited. Still, there was no sight of Jin. More and more people began to fill up the amusement park as more time passed by. He brought his watch to his face again and stared at it.
What the hell? It had already been half an hour since the meeting time. Wasn’t Jin running a bit too late already? He knew that Jin was known for always arriving late so he decided to spare Jin a couple more minutes. That couple more minutes soon turned into another long hour. Kame started to lose his patience.
‘Did you forget about the promise you made?’
A promise to you may just mean disappointing someone at the very most, however, to me, a promise that can never come true will cause my world to collapse.
He fished out his cellphone from his pocket and dialed Jin’s number a few times. But no matter how long he allowed the dialing tone to go, no one picked up those freaking calls. After waiting for about another ten minutes or so, Kame finally received a text message from Jin.
From: Jin
Kazu-chan, Sorry! I forgot that I was supposed to celebrate your birthday with you today! Ryo had asked me out last night and I agreed. Sorry! I will make it up to you next time. Alright? And happy birthday, Kazu-chan! Enjoy your day!
Love, Jin.
Kame stared at the text message with his eyes wide-open. ‘What?’
No direct calls, only a pathetic, stupid text message. Was that Jin’s way of showing his responsible side?
“How am I supposed to enjoy my day when you are not with me?” Kame mumbled to no one in particular with a trembling, breaking voice.
‘Why would you want to make this promise with me if you haven’t intended to keep it right from the start?’
He felt dumbfounded then speechless and lastly, it became devastation. He had decided to trust Jin and gave Jin one last chance but what did he get in return? Did he interpret Jin’s intention wrongly since the beginning? Did Ryo… misunderstand Jin’s words as well? And hell, he was really stupid enough to think of even confessing to Jin one more time today! He had practically staked all his happiness on this day but damned, Jin did not even turned up! He went for another appointment with whom!? Ryo, again!?
What the hell! Did Ryo and Jin have intended to play in cahoots and twirled him around their fingers right from the beginning? Did they have fun laughing their asses off at Kame’s pathetic face?
Kame got heartbroken once more and started sobbing frantically, silently.
Why couldn’t I destroy my hideous past with you with my own hands at that time? I should have done it that time…
Hell, being an idol is already not easy. Being an idol whereby everyone places their preying eyes on your every tiny move is hard. Being an idol that always has to control their emotions and present a façade in public is even harder.
How was he going to control his overwhelming feelings now? What if he was being recognized and got mobbed by fans? Or worst, headings similarly to ‘Kamenashi Kazuya got ditched on his birthday!’ emerged in all gossip magazines! Without realizing, more tears were already streaming out from his teary, glassy eyes behind the big shades he wore.
He did not know how long he had been sitting on the worn-out bench while wallowing in self-pity when he abruptly made up his mind to enter the amusement park alone. He was never one who loves amusement park, not to mention those speedy, inhuman roller-coaster rides and idiotic, lame haunted house. He always knew that. Jin ought to know that too. That’s why he was reluctant to agree to Jin’s suggestion at first but decided to give in because the one who’s going to be beside him, would be Jin.
Currently, though Jin was not here with him, he decided to stay around and played those rides, bearing a never-will-come-true naïve thinking that maybe, just maybe Jin would get guilty and came looking for him later. And then Jin would apologize for umpteen times, he would get softened by Jin's persistence and eventually, he would forgive Jin and they would reconcile. Then they would be together happily…
But…
That’s just all the wishful thinking of his.
~*~
“Jin, are you sure you wanted this?” Ryo asked worriedly next to Jin as soon as Jin flipped his cellphone close.
“Hn.” Jin nodded grimly, a palm supporting his chin on the armrest of the couch, staring blankly at nothing in front of him.
Jin had asked Ryo to come over to his house and pleaded pathetically to get Ryo to act this ‘play’ with him.
He may not have remembered what he had confessed unconsciously to Ryo about his feelings for the younger man that night at the club, and Ryo may not have reminded him either but he indeed, had long wanted to get Kame back. He didn’t want to let Kame go at all. The only thing in this world he doesn’t wish to lose even if he’s going to pay with his life, that would be his only love - Kamenashi Kazuya. That was why he made that promise to bring Kame out on his birthday. He thought he was able to…
However, at the very last minute, he changed his mind. He still felt that he wasn’t the right person to stay beside Kame. He felt that he had hurt the younger man long enough. Enough was enough. He doesn’t deserve someone as nice as Kame. He’s just a pathetic fool who wished for love but yet, doesn’t possess enough courage to chase after it when it eventually arrived.
He really wanted to get everything back, get Kame back… if only not for his… damn pride.
“This will be for the best for both of us.” Jin inserted solemnly.
That redundant freedom I gained was actually loneliness in disguise. Although this lonesome life that I am leading now is not the kind of happiness I am searching for.
“The best? Are you the only one to decide for it?” Ryo retorted angrily. He too, had seen enough of Jin’s selfish, brainless acts. “If I am not wrong, this directly involved Kame-chan too. So shouldn’t you discuss this with him?”
“There’s no need for that. My mind is set.” Jin replied with eyes full of blankness while voice dripping with hurt. And all those didn’t escape from Ryo’s sharp eyesight.
“Jin… you should know that by doing this, you are only hurting the two of you more, causing the crack to break further.” Ryo placed a hand on Jin’s shoulder and shook lightly. “Do you really want to let go of this last chance now?”
“I-I don’t know what to think of anymore, Ryo.” Jin sighed. “Perhaps it will be perfect if Kazu can find someone who can stay willingly beside him and loves him throughout his life.”
“Aren’t you willing too?” Ryo asked. He really couldn’t get the fact into his brain on why Jin kept denying his own feelings. “His life won’t be perfect without you.”
“…”
“Jin, bear my words in mind. You need a long time to attain just one chance from someone, but if you want someone to hate you, you just need a second. Think about it, Jin.”
Jin kept his silence and buried his face into the cushion and let out a soft sob which soon, turned into massive weeping. Ryo could do nothing but only reached forward and pulled his friend into a gentle, convivial hug, soothing him.
I admitted that I was the one who didn’t treat you fairly…
I admitted that I was the one who didn’t treat you nicely…
I know that you have been sacrificing a lot for me.
I know that you have really suffered a lot too.
It’s not worthy for you to do these, it’s not worthy for you to wait for me.
~*~
A/N: Okay! I think I ought to be shot! Hahaha... because... the date… *hides behind a tree and peeped out* hmm.. do I have the chance to plead? Don’t kill me first~ the supposed ‘date’ doesn’t end like this yet~! I promised! I mean… things are not just so simplified.. haha! So… let me off this time? ^^” As always, comments will be loved and treasured~~