I'm Coming! (drabble)
I'm Coming!; Sehun/Luhan, PG-13; failed humor, general; 751 words
Because Luhan and Sehun are horny little dolphins and Yifan wants to kill them for that.
I'm Coming!;
"Oh god we're going to be late." Yifan paces around the room as he mutters a few obscenities, fingers trailing in his hair as he impatiently waits for Sehun and Luhan to hurry the fuck up and get downstairs so they can leave for their recording. They were already half an hour late, both leaders realize as beads of sweat on their foreheads made their fringes over their eyes slick and oily.
Not that it mattered anyway, they would need a thorough makeover once they reached their destination. The producers and staff would not like this one bit, not at all since this would be deemed as unacceptable and unprofessional behavior, and being practically newborns in the entertainment industry, they absolutely could not afford to have such a horrid reputation branded to them at such an early stage in their career.
"Please don't tell me they're having sex again. Remember the last time when we were almost late to the Happy Camp recording? Those two just went at it like horny dolphins all morning." Yixing comments and everyone just blinks at him.
"Dolphins get horny?" Jongin snorts.
"Of course! In fact, sometimes female dolphins act like little sluts by having a threesome." Yixing replies so nonchalantly and it's no wonder the rest of the members can never stay near him for more than two seconds flat.
"And you would know this, how?" Jongdae asks Yixing folds his arms across his chest, pressing his lips together in a tight lock before answering, "I like to watch the National Geographic channel, sue me."
The rest of the members didn't bother with retorting with another witty comeback.
"Yixing, how does it feel when someone has sex anyway?" Zitao asked, his tone very serious thank you very much, and Yixing just snickers upon this obvious virgin's question.
"It's like delving yourself in some delicious, warm chocolate cake. Sweet and enticing." Zitao raises an eyebrow and Yixing sighs in response because for a second he thought the youngest didn't comprehend what was said.
"Store bought or homemade?"
"Homemade. Definitely. Unless you have a shitty orgasm, then it's stale, store bought cake for sure." Yixing said, placing much emphasis on the last word as his tongue rolls much too slow upon pronouncing it, and for once Yifan tries to hold himself back from backhanding everyone in the room because they're annoying him just by breathing the same air as him.
Those peasants.
"You know what, I'll see what they're doing." Yifan mutters to himself through clenched teeth, almost to a painful degree, but everything to him felt numb from the tips of his toes going up because of the adrenaline rush coursing everywhere from his seething anger. Upon reaching Luhan's room, Yifan doesn't hesitate in attempting to practically pound down the door with a large fist. Thundering blows to the door filled the quiet hallways, but it wasn't like the leader gave a shit anyway.
Meanwhile through the other side of the wall, Sehun's fucking Luhan to Monday, even if it was currently Monday already, and the older male clutches onto the warm sheets, fingers curling and tangling themselves into them as he feels something tight and heavy pooling at the bottom of his stomach. Their movements are messy, jagged, and both were so close in fulfillment that they're practically weeping, like an elderly woman watching one of those sappy Lifetime movies, except this is for a greater purpose, really.
"Luhan and Sehun! Get your asses downstairs now before our manager returns! He's already pissed as it is―"
"Oh god I'm coming!" Luhan suddenly cries out and Yifan almost jumps in his spot because he's never heard the latter scream himself hoarse like that before. Still, he's content with the answer given to him.
"Finally!" Yifan exclaims when he returns with the other members.
"What are they doing?" Zitao asks and Yifan exhales, "I'm not sure, but Luhan says he's coming so," he merely shrugs and Yixing and Jongin exchange quick but suggestive glances.
"They're at it again." They both say simultaneously and finally Yifan gets it, and he's practically burning at this point. Those bastards. Tonight, he would have a long lecture with those two, and he will make sure it's as boring and twice as long as his usual ones so they'll suffer under his wrath. And to top it all off, he'll use all of his sickeningly corny jokes till they die a horrible death from them. Oh yes, he'll make sure that happens.
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oh god this is just one giant pile of fail at it's finest OTL
Because Luhan and Sehun are horny little dolphins and Yifan wants to kill them for that.
I'm Coming!;
"Oh god we're going to be late." Yifan paces around the room as he mutters a few obscenities, fingers trailing in his hair as he impatiently waits for Sehun and Luhan to hurry the fuck up and get downstairs so they can leave for their recording. They were already half an hour late, both leaders realize as beads of sweat on their foreheads made their fringes over their eyes slick and oily.
Not that it mattered anyway, they would need a thorough makeover once they reached their destination. The producers and staff would not like this one bit, not at all since this would be deemed as unacceptable and unprofessional behavior, and being practically newborns in the entertainment industry, they absolutely could not afford to have such a horrid reputation branded to them at such an early stage in their career.
"Please don't tell me they're having sex again. Remember the last time when we were almost late to the Happy Camp recording? Those two just went at it like horny dolphins all morning." Yixing comments and everyone just blinks at him.
"Dolphins get horny?" Jongin snorts.
"Of course! In fact, sometimes female dolphins act like little sluts by having a threesome." Yixing replies so nonchalantly and it's no wonder the rest of the members can never stay near him for more than two seconds flat.
"And you would know this, how?" Jongdae asks Yixing folds his arms across his chest, pressing his lips together in a tight lock before answering, "I like to watch the National Geographic channel, sue me."
The rest of the members didn't bother with retorting with another witty comeback.
"Yixing, how does it feel when someone has sex anyway?" Zitao asked, his tone very serious thank you very much, and Yixing just snickers upon this obvious virgin's question.
"It's like delving yourself in some delicious, warm chocolate cake. Sweet and enticing." Zitao raises an eyebrow and Yixing sighs in response because for a second he thought the youngest didn't comprehend what was said.
"Store bought or homemade?"
"Homemade. Definitely. Unless you have a shitty orgasm, then it's stale, store bought cake for sure." Yixing said, placing much emphasis on the last word as his tongue rolls much too slow upon pronouncing it, and for once Yifan tries to hold himself back from backhanding everyone in the room because they're annoying him just by breathing the same air as him.
Those peasants.
"You know what, I'll see what they're doing." Yifan mutters to himself through clenched teeth, almost to a painful degree, but everything to him felt numb from the tips of his toes going up because of the adrenaline rush coursing everywhere from his seething anger. Upon reaching Luhan's room, Yifan doesn't hesitate in attempting to practically pound down the door with a large fist. Thundering blows to the door filled the quiet hallways, but it wasn't like the leader gave a shit anyway.
Meanwhile through the other side of the wall, Sehun's fucking Luhan to Monday, even if it was currently Monday already, and the older male clutches onto the warm sheets, fingers curling and tangling themselves into them as he feels something tight and heavy pooling at the bottom of his stomach. Their movements are messy, jagged, and both were so close in fulfillment that they're practically weeping, like an elderly woman watching one of those sappy Lifetime movies, except this is for a greater purpose, really.
"Luhan and Sehun! Get your asses downstairs now before our manager returns! He's already pissed as it is―"
"Oh god I'm coming!" Luhan suddenly cries out and Yifan almost jumps in his spot because he's never heard the latter scream himself hoarse like that before. Still, he's content with the answer given to him.
"Finally!" Yifan exclaims when he returns with the other members.
"What are they doing?" Zitao asks and Yifan exhales, "I'm not sure, but Luhan says he's coming so," he merely shrugs and Yixing and Jongin exchange quick but suggestive glances.
"They're at it again." They both say simultaneously and finally Yifan gets it, and he's practically burning at this point. Those bastards. Tonight, he would have a long lecture with those two, and he will make sure it's as boring and twice as long as his usual ones so they'll suffer under his wrath. And to top it all off, he'll use all of his sickeningly corny jokes till they die a horrible death from them. Oh yes, he'll make sure that happens.
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oh god this is just one giant pile of fail at it's finest OTL