Chores

[chenoameg]

Now that Smiles is old enough that she should be doing chores (thanks for the reminder, remcat) I realized that a lot of things I want her to do EVERYONE in my household should be doing. (I mean my upstairs household, eowyns and 76trombones. Your chores are your own problem.) So I have made a list.

• clean up spills and cat messes immediately (asking for help if

Comments

Re: Forgot one:

[desireearmfeldt]

I'd put the prinicple slightly differently: "When you make a mess, it is your sake to take care of it promptly for the common good."

If my mess belongs to me, I don't have to clean it up unless/until it bothers *me*; if I agree to chenoameg's list, I'm agreeing to clean up my mess before it bothers *you*. I think that distinction is a source of many group-living conflicts. :)

And, come to think of it, is why "clean up your room!" can be such a parent-kid conflict. I think, if I were a parent (which I have no desire to be), I would try to draw the line at: as long as I am doing services for you that require me to do stuff in your bedroom (e.g. if I'm doing your laundry and putting it away for you), then I have the right to demand that you keep your bedroom clean for my convenience. When your bedroom is your private space that I don't need to transact business in, then I don't have the right to demand that you clean it to my standards. (With exceptions for things like "don't leave food on the floor" or "don't hide all the household dishes in your room" -- because those impact the larger household again. "Have a system for not losing your homework"...is a grey area.)

Re: Forgot one:

[chenoameg]

On the parenting front I also want to teach Smiles the skills for HOW to keep her room clean. So it's a particularly murky area. My hope is that if she learns the skills now I can let her do whatever she wants when she is a bit older.

Re: Forgot one:

[desireearmfeldt]

That's a good point! And, also, there's an extent to which introducing a child to a concept and getting them in the habit will encourage them to actually value/like/want to do the thing when they're older.

(Like, eating a variety of food, or being able to cook food. Among many other examples that spring to mind.)