(no subject)
I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you! That's what I want to scream. I always have. Ever since I first met you, I had a crush on you. I denied it and made myself believe you were my "big brother." I was embarrassed to admit it. I wanted a romantic relationship with you.
Despite being 13 years older than me, despite anything else. I found that I didn't have to impress you, because by being myself, you were already impressed.
And yet, I fear us. I feel like all that we are now, all that we could be will or could be will vanish in an instant. And yet, someone is screaming at me, "HE LOVES YOU. I know he does!" Maybe you're afraid, too? Afraid of what people with think, because I'm that much younger than you.
Maybe we're both afraid, but still are being drawn to each other. Think of if I hadn't chosen this school. What if I decided to go to Nova, or George Mason? You'd be so far away in Wisconsin. I'd meet someone else, maybe you would, too.
But I'm here, in South Dakota. This MEANS SOMETHING. It means something big. Maybe I'm wrong, and I don't know what I'm talking about. But I do know that when you call me, I am happy beyond words. When I see you, I get flighty. When you send me an email or a message, I giggle. When you tell me, "Don't be sad!" I'm not, anymore.
Maybe we're both so afraid of showing our hearts to each other, that we're at a standstill until some way, somehow, someone risks everything in order to breathe true honesty into a relationship.
Is that so wrong?
Despite being 13 years older than me, despite anything else. I found that I didn't have to impress you, because by being myself, you were already impressed.
And yet, I fear us. I feel like all that we are now, all that we could be will or could be will vanish in an instant. And yet, someone is screaming at me, "HE LOVES YOU. I know he does!" Maybe you're afraid, too? Afraid of what people with think, because I'm that much younger than you.
Maybe we're both afraid, but still are being drawn to each other. Think of if I hadn't chosen this school. What if I decided to go to Nova, or George Mason? You'd be so far away in Wisconsin. I'd meet someone else, maybe you would, too.
But I'm here, in South Dakota. This MEANS SOMETHING. It means something big. Maybe I'm wrong, and I don't know what I'm talking about. But I do know that when you call me, I am happy beyond words. When I see you, I get flighty. When you send me an email or a message, I giggle. When you tell me, "Don't be sad!" I'm not, anymore.
Maybe we're both so afraid of showing our hearts to each other, that we're at a standstill until some way, somehow, someone risks everything in order to breathe true honesty into a relationship.
Is that so wrong?