Rehab is for quitters!!!
It's been awhile. I don't even know why I bother to update anymore, but nevertheless it's something mildy constructive to do since it helps me let out my feelings. Unfortunately I can't entertain you with funny stories or happy things going on in my life, but it would be nice to be able to do that.
Basically I'm attempting to get my life back together... well, not really me but I'm being forced to because all the shit that went down about a month ago. To make a long story short my mom pressed charges against me and I went to court. I ended up getting locked up in jail for a few weeks, and now I'm finally out! (thank God) and as a consequence I'm on probation and I have to go to rehab four hours a day plus three AA or NA meetings a week. It's a pain in the ass, and it's been really tough to accept but you gotta do what you gotta do, and in my case it's the only alternative to being put in DYS (the youth prison) or a residential facility. Now that I'm in rehab it still doesn't seem like much has changed. I keep trying to make myself believe that I can control my use, but it turns out I'm powerless. Like tonight, which is probably one of the reasons I'm writing in this journal is because I drank again- it's not the first time time I've gotten wasted in rehab, and I can't seem to control myself. Whenever I have insomnia or depression the first thing I turn to is alcohol, and that's the last thing I need to be doing while in rehab. I can't help myself unless I start opening up to the people who want to help me.
Aside from that I just heard from my friend Daniel that he's supposidely in "love" with me which is kind of disturbing. He's the one I used to sneak out with in the middle of the night... I've never had anyone genuinly say that to me, so it's kind of shocking. I don't know what to think right now. Maybe when I'm sober and have a clear head I'll be able to think rationally.
Well, I'm too lazy to finish up with a conclusion. Hope all is well, and despite my failure to update I do miss LJ, but I really have no choice on when to update since I don't have the internet at home. It really helps me contemplate on my life in more of an emotional way. Hope to hear from you guys. :)
"THERE WAS A 14 GIRL WHO GOT GENITAL HERPES FROM HER PRE-TEEN BOYFRIEND BY KISSING HER ON THE CHEEK AT THE BEACH!!!"
"IF YOU EVER SEE A GUY ITCH HIS NUTSACK DON'T SHAKE HIS HAND... HE HAS CRABS... OR SCABIES!!!"
Famous quotes from the douschebag at rehab.
THE END
*Edit* Oh and Jessica my supposed "best friend" told Tim (my boyfriend) that I slept with Daniel! I was in complete shock about that, and I still can't figure out why she would make something like that up. I know she lies sometimes, but that's just really fucking twisted. That shit is unforgivable, so I guess we're over with too. It sucks when the people you trust betray you.
Basically I'm attempting to get my life back together... well, not really me but I'm being forced to because all the shit that went down about a month ago. To make a long story short my mom pressed charges against me and I went to court. I ended up getting locked up in jail for a few weeks, and now I'm finally out! (thank God) and as a consequence I'm on probation and I have to go to rehab four hours a day plus three AA or NA meetings a week. It's a pain in the ass, and it's been really tough to accept but you gotta do what you gotta do, and in my case it's the only alternative to being put in DYS (the youth prison) or a residential facility. Now that I'm in rehab it still doesn't seem like much has changed. I keep trying to make myself believe that I can control my use, but it turns out I'm powerless. Like tonight, which is probably one of the reasons I'm writing in this journal is because I drank again- it's not the first time time I've gotten wasted in rehab, and I can't seem to control myself. Whenever I have insomnia or depression the first thing I turn to is alcohol, and that's the last thing I need to be doing while in rehab. I can't help myself unless I start opening up to the people who want to help me.
Aside from that I just heard from my friend Daniel that he's supposidely in "love" with me which is kind of disturbing. He's the one I used to sneak out with in the middle of the night... I've never had anyone genuinly say that to me, so it's kind of shocking. I don't know what to think right now. Maybe when I'm sober and have a clear head I'll be able to think rationally.
Well, I'm too lazy to finish up with a conclusion. Hope all is well, and despite my failure to update I do miss LJ, but I really have no choice on when to update since I don't have the internet at home. It really helps me contemplate on my life in more of an emotional way. Hope to hear from you guys. :)
"THERE WAS A 14 GIRL WHO GOT GENITAL HERPES FROM HER PRE-TEEN BOYFRIEND BY KISSING HER ON THE CHEEK AT THE BEACH!!!"
"IF YOU EVER SEE A GUY ITCH HIS NUTSACK DON'T SHAKE HIS HAND... HE HAS CRABS... OR SCABIES!!!"
Famous quotes from the douschebag at rehab.
THE END
*Edit* Oh and Jessica my supposed "best friend" told Tim (my boyfriend) that I slept with Daniel! I was in complete shock about that, and I still can't figure out why she would make something like that up. I know she lies sometimes, but that's just really fucking twisted. That shit is unforgivable, so I guess we're over with too. It sucks when the people you trust betray you.