too fucking early.
i havent been on here forever.
thursday i ended up moving into my apartment.
i didnt sleep at all that night.
i just couldnt stop thinking about how old i am and how much of my life ive already wasted.
i love it in pittsburgh but i miss everyone so bad when im gone.
me and jordan are basically back together. unofficially of course.
i love him and i dont even know why.
when he holds me i feel safe.
i cant really think of anything else.
most of the time he acts like he'll hang out with me if he can fit me in his schedule or if he doesnt have anything better to do and it makes me feel like shit.
i end up thinking he doesnt even care if we hang out or not so i leave and go hang out with tiff and everyone.
then he'll get pissed that i didnt want to hang out with him.
im just so insecure when it coumes to this shit.
like i need to be told "listen, i love you." everyday otherwise i think you lost that feeling for me even if you said it the day before.
i guess im so used to failed relationships and unfaithful marriages thanks to my parents.
its 10:46 tiffs still past out in my bed.
i have to piss but i think my roommate and boyfriend are in the living room and my hair is a fucking mess and i dont feel like walking out there looking like a fucking hung over skank.
im done. <3
thursday i ended up moving into my apartment.
i didnt sleep at all that night.
i just couldnt stop thinking about how old i am and how much of my life ive already wasted.
i love it in pittsburgh but i miss everyone so bad when im gone.
me and jordan are basically back together. unofficially of course.
i love him and i dont even know why.
when he holds me i feel safe.
i cant really think of anything else.
most of the time he acts like he'll hang out with me if he can fit me in his schedule or if he doesnt have anything better to do and it makes me feel like shit.
i end up thinking he doesnt even care if we hang out or not so i leave and go hang out with tiff and everyone.
then he'll get pissed that i didnt want to hang out with him.
im just so insecure when it coumes to this shit.
like i need to be told "listen, i love you." everyday otherwise i think you lost that feeling for me even if you said it the day before.
i guess im so used to failed relationships and unfaithful marriages thanks to my parents.
its 10:46 tiffs still past out in my bed.
i have to piss but i think my roommate and boyfriend are in the living room and my hair is a fucking mess and i dont feel like walking out there looking like a fucking hung over skank.
im done. <3